I heard Michael Scofield whisper while I was rehearsing my setup:
"Preparation can only take you so far. After that you have to take leaps of faith."
And it's true. For everything I guess.
I rehearsed my installation for Monday's defense. Dumaan ang mga advisers, crew at mga kaibigan para tingnan, magbigay ng opinyon at kumain. May konting adjustments pa.
Ang galing ng crew ko. Kung maganda man ang pelikula na 'to, sila may pakana nun. Kung mapangitan man ang audience, AKO lang ang may sala. Late ko na kasi na-realize ang lahat ng masaklap na katotohanan. (Sana walang panelist na nagbabasa nito 'di ba?)
*insert* may dumalaw.
tinignan ang ganap. kinilatis ang lahat--'yung monitor, 'yung audio, space, distance, mga kable, quality ng lahat, etc. etc.
concerned nga siya. He checked the setup out before I swan dive to a dark abyss on defense day.
Pero parang hindi. I tried hagilaping him 5 goddam times before I shot my visuals. He was always too busy, had to run somewhere, had to meet with someone, had to do this and that. All those times I was already in our supposed meeting venue. I call him and then he tells me he can't come. Now he tells me, "you should've talked to me before shooting."
So ano ba talaga, 'te?
While he was talking to me (more like lecturing and torturing me) after seeing the setup, I was staring at him and then I drifted off.
*drift off sequence in my head*
Bakit ka ganyan? Malabo kang hindi. Masayado kang maraming alam. Literal. (iligpit 'yan! Masyadong maraming alam!) You're quite a harsh. Lasing ba 'to? Ay ganyan ka pala talaga in real life. Balang araw aalis din ako. Di kita papadalhan ng postcard. I know you'll just look at it once, not appreciate the thought, misplace it and forget I even sent something. You treat me as if I'm only doing this just to graduate. Salamat sa mga sinasabi mo. Mukha kang may sungay. Ibahin mo na 'yang hairstyle mo. Pwedeng isara ang bibig habang ngumunguya ng biskwit? Bakit nga ba kadiri itsura ng biskwit pag nababad sa laway?
Tama na. Marami pa kong naisip habang nakanganga at nakatulala sa kanya pero sumakit na ulo ko to death.
I arrived home at 8:30. Ang sakit ng putanginang ulo ko. Nasusuka ako. Lecheng feeling 'yan.
I have found my edge. I'm standing here already. On monday the only thing left for me to do is jump. I will swan dive for all the 17 years I spent in school, for all the beautiful friends I made and the awesome things we did together, for my parents' nonstop support, for the things that lie ahead (or below) such as Spain, and for the heart-bursting fact that Michael Scofield is NOT real.
"If we're gonna go down, might as well go down swinging." --the very fictitious Michael Scofield
By faith.
And it's true. For everything I guess.
I rehearsed my installation for Monday's defense. Dumaan ang mga advisers, crew at mga kaibigan para tingnan, magbigay ng opinyon at kumain. May konting adjustments pa.
Ang galing ng crew ko. Kung maganda man ang pelikula na 'to, sila may pakana nun. Kung mapangitan man ang audience, AKO lang ang may sala. Late ko na kasi na-realize ang lahat ng masaklap na katotohanan. (Sana walang panelist na nagbabasa nito 'di ba?)
*insert* may dumalaw.
tinignan ang ganap. kinilatis ang lahat--'yung monitor, 'yung audio, space, distance, mga kable, quality ng lahat, etc. etc.
concerned nga siya. He checked the setup out before I swan dive to a dark abyss on defense day.
Pero parang hindi. I tried hagilaping him 5 goddam times before I shot my visuals. He was always too busy, had to run somewhere, had to meet with someone, had to do this and that. All those times I was already in our supposed meeting venue. I call him and then he tells me he can't come. Now he tells me, "you should've talked to me before shooting."
So ano ba talaga, 'te?
While he was talking to me (more like lecturing and torturing me) after seeing the setup, I was staring at him and then I drifted off.
*drift off sequence in my head*
Bakit ka ganyan? Malabo kang hindi. Masayado kang maraming alam. Literal. (iligpit 'yan! Masyadong maraming alam!) You're quite a harsh. Lasing ba 'to? Ay ganyan ka pala talaga in real life. Balang araw aalis din ako. Di kita papadalhan ng postcard. I know you'll just look at it once, not appreciate the thought, misplace it and forget I even sent something. You treat me as if I'm only doing this just to graduate. Salamat sa mga sinasabi mo. Mukha kang may sungay. Ibahin mo na 'yang hairstyle mo. Pwedeng isara ang bibig habang ngumunguya ng biskwit? Bakit nga ba kadiri itsura ng biskwit pag nababad sa laway?
Tama na. Marami pa kong naisip habang nakanganga at nakatulala sa kanya pero sumakit na ulo ko to death.
I arrived home at 8:30. Ang sakit ng putanginang ulo ko. Nasusuka ako. Lecheng feeling 'yan.
I have found my edge. I'm standing here already. On monday the only thing left for me to do is jump. I will swan dive for all the 17 years I spent in school, for all the beautiful friends I made and the awesome things we did together, for my parents' nonstop support, for the things that lie ahead (or below) such as Spain, and for the heart-bursting fact that Michael Scofield is NOT real.
"If we're gonna go down, might as well go down swinging." --the very fictitious Michael Scofield
By faith.