Further Proof that I am Not Clerically Inclined
Caller: “Can you tell me when construction on (Insert Million Dollar Real Estate Project I’ve Never Heard Of and Don’t Give a Flying Fuck about here) begins?”
Me: (Cheerfully. Really): “I don’t know, but hang on a second and I’ll ask one of the brokers working on it.”
Me to Lexus #44998: “Do you know when construction on MDREPINHOADGAFFA begins?”
Lexus # 44998 “Well, it pretty much depends on which kind of use they’re looking for and how big the requirement is because it’ll be tailored to each business going in there.”
Me: “All right. Thanks. How’s your mistress? Ha ha ha.”
Lexus: “Oh, Corinne, you’re such a wiseacre. How did you ever get to be so feisty? Ha ha ha.”
Me to Caller: “I just spoke to one of the brokers and he said that it depends on the size of the requirement and the type of business, so how much square footage are you looking for and what type of business?”
Caller (Bitchily) “ I just need to know when construction is going to begin.”
Me (Angrily): “As I said, it depends on the use and type of business. Each office space is tailored to each specific business, and the square footage of that business determines the construction start date.”
Caller (Huffily) “You mean you don’t know when general construction is beginning on this gigantic business park?”
Me (Angrily): “No. Hold on.”
Phone: SLAM!
Pause while I stare at the phone as though it has used the last of my hairspray.
Me: “I’m sorry, there’s no one available to answer that question. Can I take your number and have someone involved with the project call you back later?”
Caller: “Well, I guess I’ll just call back later then.”
Me: Dialtone
Me to no one in particular: “Jesus fucking Christ.”
FIN
Me: (Cheerfully. Really): “I don’t know, but hang on a second and I’ll ask one of the brokers working on it.”
Me to Lexus #44998: “Do you know when construction on MDREPINHOADGAFFA begins?”
Lexus # 44998 “Well, it pretty much depends on which kind of use they’re looking for and how big the requirement is because it’ll be tailored to each business going in there.”
Me: “All right. Thanks. How’s your mistress? Ha ha ha.”
Lexus: “Oh, Corinne, you’re such a wiseacre. How did you ever get to be so feisty? Ha ha ha.”
Me to Caller: “I just spoke to one of the brokers and he said that it depends on the size of the requirement and the type of business, so how much square footage are you looking for and what type of business?”
Caller (Bitchily) “ I just need to know when construction is going to begin.”
Me (Angrily): “As I said, it depends on the use and type of business. Each office space is tailored to each specific business, and the square footage of that business determines the construction start date.”
Caller (Huffily) “You mean you don’t know when general construction is beginning on this gigantic business park?”
Me (Angrily): “No. Hold on.”
Phone: SLAM!
Pause while I stare at the phone as though it has used the last of my hairspray.
Me: “I’m sorry, there’s no one available to answer that question. Can I take your number and have someone involved with the project call you back later?”
Caller: “Well, I guess I’ll just call back later then.”
Me: Dialtone
Me to no one in particular: “Jesus fucking Christ.”
FIN