Babies
Babies. Everyone around me is getting pregnant... fuck that. Excuse the blunt phrasing, but really. I'm 21, and at least ten of my friends ranging from 19 to 29 are getting pregnant, most of them from 20-23 though. It's too early in the game for that shit, I have my entire life to make my life all about someone else, why not experience freedom while you have it? You spend the first twenty or more years living with your parents, and then you have this small window of time before your shack up with someone and start spewing out copies. I wish I didn't live with my boyfriend now, I wish I had more freedom and alone time, although I love him, I feel like I haven't experienced enough single life to be so far into this relationship, not that I don't appreciate and love him, I do, but I want to live alone, be responsible for me and only me before I go to the next level, which I know he wants to soon.
He asked me about babies the other day, no thank you. I don't think I want children to I'm almost thirty, maybe later, but by then he'll be thirty five, and he wants to have them before he's thirty. He wants to have children in five years, that would make me twenty five or six, that is wayyy to young for the schooling I want to go through and the life experiences I plan on having. What about back packing across Europe? What about buying a house? What about becoming a psychologist and paying off debt and becoming responsible adults? Not semi-grown ups. At twenty five I'll still be figuring out how to not live paycheck to paycheck, and he's already twenty six and hasn't figured that out yet. He's twenty six with no car or license, no formal education, and idea what he wants to do with his life, yet he's even talking about children... He wonder's why I get so pissed off with him.
I can't believe everyone around me having children, it would be different if they were responsible people who should be having children but half of them are junkies, and the other half are babies themselves. There is only one girl out of all of them I think would raise a child properly, and she's just finished school to be a drug counselor.
Tomorrow I go meet Jesse to work out at three, it's nice to have a buddy to work out with, it's more incentive to go too.