Bleh.
Today is one of those days when I feel like I'm disappearing...like just another few days and I'll be like Patrick Swayze in Ghost, where only a few people can see me, and I can't do anything on my own to make an impact of any sort.
I know it's ridiculous, and it's probably just an over-complicated form of depression, but I keep having to remind myself that not everyone hates me, I do matter to a few people, someone would be sad if I died...yeah...I just keep reminding myself that I actually kind of matter a little bit. Not hugely, but enough that people would probably notice if I disappeared and few of them would actually care. I haven't totally convinced myself of this. I DO convince myself, but then a few minutes later I feel that way again, then I tell myself again that I'm okay, then five minutes later I'm miserable and lonely again. It's ridiculous. Seriously. I need to just plain get over it, but for some reason that's not going too well. Can it just be 5pm so I can at least be miserable someplace other than work?
I know it's ridiculous, and it's probably just an over-complicated form of depression, but I keep having to remind myself that not everyone hates me, I do matter to a few people, someone would be sad if I died...yeah...I just keep reminding myself that I actually kind of matter a little bit. Not hugely, but enough that people would probably notice if I disappeared and few of them would actually care. I haven't totally convinced myself of this. I DO convince myself, but then a few minutes later I feel that way again, then I tell myself again that I'm okay, then five minutes later I'm miserable and lonely again. It's ridiculous. Seriously. I need to just plain get over it, but for some reason that's not going too well. Can it just be 5pm so I can at least be miserable someplace other than work?