Just Until I Know What I'm Feeling (3c/3)
Summary: It's the study group's sixth year at Greendale, and Jeff's in love with Annie. Too bad she doesn't know that. Yet.
Spoilers: If you've watched through s5, nothing should be spoiled for you.
Word Count: 8,625
Rating/Warnings: This chapter doesn't contain any explicit sexytimes, but this story still talks about sex a decent amount.
Disclaimer: These character's belong to Dan Harmon, etc., etc. I simply enjoy manipulating them.
Author's Note: A hearty thank you to bethanyactually who still had this chapter edited on time even though I was late writing the end of it. I could not have asked for a better beta. The title comes from a Four Star Mary song called "She Knows."
The bad news is that I'm going to take another week off posting. I'm expecting paintball to be a pretty long chapter, and I need the extra time to write it all. The good news is, including paintball, there are still three chapters left of this fic. So plenty of J/A fluff and smut to go. :)
[Part 3a] [Part 3b]
Thursdays are not kind to Annie. She has two labs, two normal classes, and the closing shift at Barnes and Noble. Not to mention assignments to complete, reading to keep up with, and balancing all her extracurriculars (which now includes a generous amount of time spent with Jeff).
It's only the third week of the semester, and she already feels exhaustion hitting her hard. Usually having a full schedule crowded with activities energizes Annie, but there's a chance she may have taken on too much, trying to get all that she can out of her last semester at Greendale.
She's thinking about the lab report she should write so she doesn't miss the 9:00 deadline tomorrow morning, and the grant Troy wrote that needs (a lot of) editing, and everything on her growing list of things to do as she trudges up the stairs of her building to the third floor.
Her key isn't jiggling right in the lock and Annie's about to lose it when the door flies open and she's suddenly swept into a Jeff hug.
Her body melts into his and it's like she's taking her first, desperate gulp of air after being submerged in water all day.
"I didn't know you were going to be here," Annie sighs against his chest.
"Surprise." She can hear the smile in his voice so she lets her head loll back to bask in the warmth of it.
"What's the occasion?"
"You've been on edge this week, and I thought you could use a reprieve." He leads her further into the apartment to a table set with all the fixings for tacos.
"This smells amazing," Annie compliments as she removes her backpack and sets it on the kitchen counter.
"He wouldn't let me eat any of it," Troy says, making her jump. He's pouting on his bed (the fold-out couch), old Looney Tunes cartoons playing quietly on the television.
Jeff rolls his eyes. "I told you that you can have whatever's leftover."
"I don't want to be fed scraps like a dog," Troy whines. Then, after a moment of consideration, "I take that back. Sounds awesome."
Annie checks her watch: a quarter to midnight. "Okay, we'll eat and then have ten minutes of snuggling and digesting before I have to work."
Jeff narrows his eyes, looking ready to negotiate. "Fifteen minutes."
She can't cave. Allowing Jeff an extra minute-or five-only convinces him to bargain for more.
And he knows exactly the way to look at her to make her resolve crumble.
If fact, he's giving her the look now, all puppy-dog eyes and pouty mouth atop rippling muscles….
"No," she points a stern finger at him, shaking herself out of the trance. "Bad. I can't. I have a lot of work to do."
"And I'll I'm asking for is five measly additional minutes before you devote your energy to taking the world by storm." He raises his eyebrows and takes two tantalizingly slow steps toward her until they're pressed up against each other.
God, now that she knows exactly what's under his (annoying, unnecessary) clothes, her libido kicks into overdrive every time he's right there.
"Fifteen minutes and not a second longer." His smile unfurls, triumphant. "I'm serious," she says firmly.
"I'll be good." But his evil, evil grin makes her think otherwise.
"Do you two mind?" Troy says. "I'm trying to enjoy my bedtime stories."
"You're watching cartoons," Annie points out.
"Are you saying cartoons don’t have a storyline? Besides, they relax me."
She shakes her head fondly and sits down at the table. Jeff sits across from her, and she can feel him watching her as she scoops shredded chicken onto a tortilla.
"How was work?" he asks once he starts preparing his own late dinner.
"Exhausting," Annie gripes. "Thorin was weirdly motivated to do work today, so we reorganized the stock room and spent more time cleaning up after close than usual."
"That bastard."
She chuckles. "It's fine. Clearly I survived. How were classes?"
Jeff perks up. “I’m glad you asked. I have a proposal for you.”
“Oh yeah? What’s that?”
“Well, Garrett was bragging to a few of my advanced students about his involvement in the Ass Crack Bandit case, and it gave me an idea.”
“Garrett was bragging about being cracked?”
“His life is sad and meaningless, Annie. He’s a Greendale lifer.”
She cocks a pointed eyebrow at him.
“I’m going to get out eventually,” he insists.
“Mhmm.”
“I am.”
“I just don’t think you should be so judgmental of Garrett.”
“Yeah,” Troy chimes in. “He may be to people what beanbag chairs are to places for resting your butt, but he gets major points for going about his life like he’s a La-Z-Boy.”
Jeff purses his lips as if thinking up a response, but then decides to leave it be. “Anyway, we’re on the chapter about proper courtroom procedure, and I thought it would be cool to do a practical demonstration.”
“Such as?”
“Well, would you be free to make a guest appearance on Tuesday?”
Annie smiles and gets up to retrieve her planner from her bag. She flips to the coming Tuesday. “What time is that class again?”
“4:45 to 6 o’clock.”
She writes it in. “I’ll be there.”
“Excellent,” Jeff says and takes a bite of his taco.
“While I have this out,” she taps the pen against the leather cover, “have you confirmed the dates we can use the mansion with Gilbert, Troy?”
“Saturday March 22nd,” Troy says. “We’re a go for paintball.”
“Everyone’ll be excited.” Annie smiles to herself as she flips forward to March and takes note.
As soon as she takes the first bite of her taco, all conversation ceases as she focuses her energy on devouring much-needed food.
Once she’s too full to eat anything else, she sits back in her chair and folds her hands over her stomach. “That was delicious. Thanks, Jeff.”
“Anything for you.” He waggles his eyebrows and it makes her laugh.
Troy, noticing they’re done, gets off the couch. “Are you really going to make me beg for the leftovers?” he checks.
“Of course not. Just sit down like a regular person,” Jeff says.
Pleased, Troy slides into a chair and immediately tears into the food. His mouth his full when he manages a muffled, “Thanks, Jeff. ‘Sgood.”
Jeff makes a disgusted face and stands to clear some dishes off the table.
“Slow down,” Annie says, “You’re going to give yourself a stomachache.”
Troy gulps down a particularly large mouthful and reaches for Annie’s water. She doesn’t protest.
“Hey, I need a favor,” he says, whispering.
“Sounds serious,” Jeff comments, sitting back down.
“It is serious,” Troy confirms. “Super-secret serious. You can’t tell Abed about what I’m going to ask you.”
“Oh, Troy, I don’t know if I’m comf-”
“I need your help looking for an apartment,” he says over her, squeezing his eyes shut so he doesn’t have to see her reaction.
“Oh,” Annie squeaks.
“Wow,” Jeff adds.
“Yeah.” Troy shakes his head. “I don’t want to sleep on the couch anymore, and I don’t want to ask Abed to give up his personal space. I mean, things are different and I’m not sure…” he trails off. “Anyway, can you do it? Can you help me find a place?”
Annie sucks nervously on her lower lip and nods. “Okay.”
Troy throws his arms around her. “Thanks, Annie. You’re the best.”
“Give me a price range and I can pick out a few places around town to go look at.”
He bounces happily in his seat and takes another inadvisably large bite of food.
“You ready for those digestion snuggles?” Jeff asks. Annie nods and gathers her things. “We’re sticking you with the cleanup, scrap boy.”
“Ooh,” Troy gasps. “Scrap Boy and Wonder Dog: Adventures in Eating!”
“Yeaaaah,” Jeff claps him on the back. “Those adventures include cleaning up, right?”
Troy waves off his concern. “Yeah, yeah.”
Jeff flops onto her bed the minute they get to Annie’s room and she eases the door shut. She sets a timer on her phone before curling up on her side next to him.
“So that was an unexpected development,” Jeff says quietly as he trails his hand up her thigh, over her hip, and around her back to settle between her shoulder blades and pull her closer to him.
“It was and it wasn’t,” she grabs fistfuls of his shirt and tugs him as close as she can.
He grunts his agreement, his eyes glimmering with what Annie can only assume are lustful thoughts.
Sure enough, before she has the time to question him, his mouth is over hers, moving insistently. She moans, low and long, into his mouth and juts her hips forward.
She pulls back to catch her breath after several moments, but Jeff continues on without her, his hot breath tickling along her jawline.
“Fifteen minutes,” she reminds him breathlessly.
He nips at her earlobe in response.
Twenty-five minutes later, naked and wrapped in a sheet, Annie goes to work on her lab report as Jeff continues to snooze in her bed.
###
Jeff’s advanced law class is easily his favorite of the semester. There are only thirteen students, and they’re always eager to hear stories about Jeff’s past courtroom successes. He gets to feel like a wise mentor for an hour and fifteen minutes every Tuesday and Thursday, which is a nice change of pace from feeling like a big fake.
“Evening, class,” Jeff says as he walks to the front of 216 South Hall and throws his briefcase down on the rickety metal desk. “Did you guys get my email?”
Several of the kids murmur confirmation.
“Good. Then you’ve gathered some information on the assailant known as the Ass Crack Bandit?”
More muttering.
“C’mon guys, speak up. It’s going to get real awkward real fast for those of you who are unprepared. Save yourselves the embarrassment and raise your hands now if you don’t have anything.”
Five hands go up.
“Fine. We don’t have time for everyone to participate anyway. And since the assignment was last-minute, I’ll give those of you who didn’t do the work a pass on today’s participation points. But I expect a one-page write up about the demonstration today.”
The five unprepared students look a little put out but don’t argue.
Annie sweeps into the room then, out of breath and red-cheeked from rushing across campus. “Sorry I’m late,” she addresses Jeff and waves to the class as she bounces to the front of the room.
“Nah, you’re right on time,” Jeff assures her. “Class, this is Annie Edison. You may know her as Greendale’s resident overachiever, leader of the Save Greendale Committee, or writer of challenging and fun crosswords for the Gazette Journal Mirror. And, if you did your research, you definitely know her as the lead investigator on the ACB case.”
Several students perk up, looking impressed and interested.
Annie flushes. “You’re overselling me. I led an unofficial investigation. And, as many of you already know, the Bandit was never apprehended.”
“Not yet,” Jeff amends. Annie rolls her eyes playfully at him. “And, anyway, for the sake of today’s class, we’re going to pretend they were. We’re going to perform a mock trial where the Ass Crack Bandit’s being charged with crimes against humanity. Everyone who did research will get the chance to play lawyer and question Miss Edison here. We’re going to count off by twos to see who’s going to question for the defense and who’s prosecuting. Bryant, we’ll start with you.”
After the room’s been split into two teams-and the scraping of desks being rearranged dies down-Jeff gives the students fifteen minutes to go over their collective notes and prepare.
He pulls a chair up next to the professor’s desk for Annie and then sits down.
“This is so cool,” Annie bounces in her seat. “Getting to see you in professor mode. You’ve grown so much.”
He’d be exasperated or flustered if she didn’t sound so damn proud of him. “Well, my first week of teaching a real compulsive type gave me a hard time for being a slacker. She’s been pushing me to get my ass in gear ever since.”
“She sounds very reasonable and magnanimous, and she probably has really nice hair.”
Jeff narrows his eyes, but he can’t seem to stop smiling. “I can neither confirm nor deny that.”
Once the fifteen minutes are up, Jeff pounds on his desk and calls for order. “Any brave lawyers in-the-making want to volunteer to go first?”
One of his shyer students, Oliva, raises her hands. Jeff frowns and waves her forward, impressed.
“All right, the prosecution has it.”
Olivia’s flats are a little too big for her, and she trips over her feet on the way to the front of the classroom.
“Um, hello,” she addresses Annie, tucking her stringy blonde hair behind her ear.
“No need to greet the witness,” Jeff says.
Olivia flushes red and Annie gives her a kind smile. The girl rolls her shoulders back and grips her notebook tighter. “Miss Edison,” Oliva tries again, “You have a strong connection to the Ass Crack Bandit’s case, right?” She flushes an even brighter shade on the word ‘ass,’ her voice cracking ever so slightly.
Annie nods amiably. “You could say that, yes.”
“You, um, have known him longer than most.”
Annie’s nose scrunches. “Okay, I know that the Bandit’s supposedly been caught for the sake of this activity, but we really don’t know the gender of the assailant. You should try to avoid gendering them.”
Jeff cocks his eyebrow at her. “I will give them permission to treat you as hostile.”
“I’m just saying, accuracy is important.” Jeff’s stare is unwavering. “Okay, fine, sorry. Continue,” she prompts Olivia.
“O-okay,” Oliva studies her notebook, her eyebrows drawn together. “Um, reports of the 2011 student election at Greendale Community College show the first ever mention of the Ass Crack Bandit. I mean, I think. We only had the weekend to dig up information.”
“Never admit you’re underprepared,” Jeff says, rubbing a hand over his face. “That goes for court and life.”
“Yes,” Annie confirms. “The ACB was terrorizing the school for some time before the administration did anything about it.”
“Only in fits and starts though, right? There wasn’t a constant stream of activity?”
“That’s true.”
“Come on,” Jeff sighs. “You’re the prosecution. Your goal is to make the ACB look like the bad guy. Highlighting periods of inactivity is poor strategy.”
“Whoops. Sorry. So, uh, the most extensive record of the Bandit’s activities-submitted to campus security and made public record after the case went cold-was actually a binder full of articles and personal speculation that you put together. That’s correct, right?”
“Be more direct with your questions,” Jeff suggests. Olivia twists the metal binding on her notebook and nods weakly.
“Yes, I had been keeping track of the Bandit’s activities.”
“Would you mind outlining a few attacks for the record?”
“Better,” Jeff approves.
“Not at all. I was first made aware of the ACB when I attended a budget meeting for which a protest had been planned regarding an informative anti-drug skit I was running. The Bandit “cracked”, or dropped coins between the gluteal muscles, of several individuals on the board. Needless to say, the meeting was postponed. Later, the Bandit attacked three innocent students during a Greendale versus City College baseball game. And, perhaps the most heinous of all, the ACB targeted a dear friend of mine and an esteemed professor while we were in the midst of our investigation.”
“Wasn’t it Professor Duncan?” Daniel, another student on Olivia’s team, says. “I’d hardly call him esteemed.”
“No contributions from the peanut gallery,” Jeff says.
Olivia seems lost for a bit, biting the corner of her lip and staring intently at her notes. “Um, I think, if this were a real courtroom, I’d submit evidence now. The pages from the binder that corroborate Miss Edison’s first two stories.”
Jeff nods. “I’d say that’s a good move.”
Oliva grins, clearly proud of herself, and lets out a long sigh of relief. “How would you respond to the speculation that your binder could be interpreted as a trophy?”
“Well that’s not really-” Jeff starts, but Annie cuts him off.
“No, that’s fine. I’ll respond to the question.”
There’s an air of haughtiness in her voice that catches Jeff’s attention. He tilts his head at her in question, but she’s returned her focus to Olivia.
“My goal has always been to make Greendale a better, safer place for students and staff. I understand how the binder could be misconstrued as boasting, but my detailed coverage of the Bandit’s crimes was selflessly gathered in the name of justice.”
Okay, maybe he’s being paranoid, but Annie’s answer comes off as practiced. Momentarily forgetting that he’s supposed to be teaching the class, Jeff cuts off Olivia’s next question. “While it’s certainly true that you usually have Greendale’s best interests in mind, your methods aren’t always selfless,” he points out. “Let’s not forget the time you almost sold out the dean to improve your chances of transferring to a better school. Or how you let Pierce bribe you into making a mockery of the aforementioned anti-drug skit.”
“There were extenuating circumstances,” Annie says indignantly, spinning in her chair to face him. “And what exactly are you accusing me of?”
“I’m not accusing you of anything. But you are acting really defensive.”
“Um,” Olivia shifts her weight from one foot to the other. “Should I go sit down now?”
They both ignore her.
“You know I wasn’t the Ass Crack Bandit. I physically couldn’t have done it.”
Jeff stands to pace in front of Annie’s chair, and Olivia scuttles back to her desk. “Well, no, that’s not exactly true, is it? You couldn’t cover the distance between crackings without a shortcut. But you knew about the faculty lounge. I mean, I know that was originally grounds to suspect someone on staff, but it’s not like the room is impenetrable. Especially not to someone of your intelligence and resourcefulness.”
“What, exactly, are you accusing me of?” Annie repeats.
She stares intently at him, her jaw set stubbornly. He tries to read the flickers of emotion in her eyes when suddenly her eyelashes start fluttering and her lips start to quiver.
“Oh my god,” Jeff gasps. “You were the Ass Crack Bandit.”
“Yes, okay! I did it. I did it for stupid, selfish reasons and it got out of hand.”
The class exhales a collective sharp breath, and Annie runs from the room, leaving her backpack and a stunned silence behind her.
“Holy shit,” Jeff says after a moment. “Uh, class dismissed. We’ll talk about this on Thursday.”
Not about to argue with an early dismissal, the students gather their things and start putting the room back to normal. Jeff grabs his briefcase and Annie’s bag and runs into the hall, ready to scour campus to find her.
But she hasn’t traveled very far, sitting on the floor outside the classroom.
Jeff sinks down next to her, but she won’t look at him.
“Well,” he starts, unsure what to say. “That was…wow.”
“Do you think I’m a terrible person?”
“Annie, a couple quarters down people’s pants does not a terrible person make. I’m a little confused, though.”
She finally turns to look at him and the first thing Jeff notices are the tear tracks on her cheeks. Instinctively, he brushes his thumb along the damp skin. She leans into his touch and closes her eyes.
“It started at that budget meeting I mentioned. I don’t even remember what gave me the idea, but things weren’t going well and I kind of freaked out. And then, during the student election, it seemed like an easy talking point.”
“And last year’s investigation?” he asks, lowering his voice as the students start to file out of the classroom. They step over his long, outstretched legs, and he glares to deter any lingering.
Annie snorts, self-deprecating, and opens her eyes again. “You really can’t think of any reason I might have brought the Bandit back to life?”
Jeff cocks an eyebrow, and he feels like an ass even asking the question. “Did you crack Troy just to get close to me?”
Annie wrinkles her nose at his choice of words. “Yes and no. I guess…so much had changed since we all graduated, and we were having such a hard time fitting each other into our new schedules. You weren't answering your phone at all." Jeff remembers being scared that practicing law again would turn him back into first-year Jeff, and he couldn't stand the idea of letting his friends down. Then he'd been ashamed for cutting them off for so long that, even when they stopped trying to call him, he couldn't bring himself to reach out. "When the opportunity presented itself to team up and spend time together solving a crime…well, I was kind of, I don't know, hungry for it. So I orchestrated the ACB’s most effective reign of terror yet.”
He has a ton more questions, but she looks so mortified, like she's waiting for him to yell or leave or something. So he squelches his curiosity. “I have to say, I’m…flattered.”
She gives him a skeptical look.
“No, really,” he says. “I mean, if I weren’t so emotionally crippled, we could have been doing this,” he gestures between them, “years ago. It’s not your fault you felt like you needed to make up crazy scenarios to spend time with me. So I choose to be flattered.”
"You're not emotionally crippled," she rolls her eyes, her face relaxing into a small smile, and Jeff lets out a sigh of relief.
"I think every person I've ever met would disagree."
"It's a good thing my opinion's the only one that matters, then."
Jeff smirks and kisses the tip of Annie's nose. "That's true."
She grins back at him, but something occurs to her and the smile droops. “I don’t think the group’s going to be as forgiving.”
“What, like they haven’t done crazy shit in the name of hijinks? It’ll blow over.”
She nods after a moment and then rests her head on his shoulder. He kisses her, inhaling the smell of her shampoo.
“And you’re sure this doesn’t make you want to run for the hills?” she checks.
Jeff scoffs. “Oh, please. I always knew a life with Annie Edison meant a life of constant surprise. But, just so we’re clear, you’re not hiding any other nefarious secret identities from me, are you?”
“That depends…”
“On?”
“Whether you want that darkest timeline fantasy of yours to ever become reality.”
He perks up. “Don’t you tease me.”
Annie smirks, crawling into his lap right there in the middle of the hallway, and kisses him till his head spins.
###
“I just hold this down, and I’ll be broadcast over all the speakers in the school?” Annie asks.
The dean nods enthusiastically and claps his hands together. “This is so exciting. The students who gather to boo me as I get out of my car in the morning might even take the week off after hearing the good news.”
Annie winks at him, takes a sip of water, and clears her throat. Then she breathes in and presses the beige, rectangular button.
“Good morning, Greendale Human Beings! Annie Edison here with an announcement many of you will be pleased to hear.
"As you know, the Save Greendale Committee has been hard at work raising money for the school, and, at the end of the year, we’re holding a student showcase. In essence, we’re giving you the chance to show off your work, be it a term paper you’ve been writing or research you’ve been conducting. You bring your best and we’ll fill the cafeteria with leading academics and innovators in your field. We’re going to earn the money you need to work with all the resources available at any four-year university. We’re going to help you lay the groundwork for your futures, your careers.
“In order to reserve a table display in the cafeteria on the night of, I need interested students to fill out the form that can be found in the lobby newsstands of every building on campus. Please return completed forms to Jeff Winger’s faculty mailbox.
“Since we need money to make the showcase a success, we’re holding a fundraiser. You guys voted, and we listened. So prepare your paintball guns, everyone, because we’re playing a game of Paintball Assassin on March 22nd!” She pauses when cheers erupt in the halls. Once the loudest of the ruckus is over, Annie continues, “Starting at 10:00am, you can come to the Hawthorne Manor-see any Save Greendale Committee member for the address and directions-and pay the $10 entrance fee for a chance to win the game.
“Your objective will be to take out any and all of the nine members of the Save Greendale Committee, including Dean Pelton, before we take you out. The game will continue so long as players are still in action.
“There are a few rules you must keep in mind or you will be tossed out of the arena. First, the manor has been graciously donated for our use; keep the vandalism in check. Second, bring as much ammo as you like. Once you run out, you will have to pay $1 for a case of ten pellets at our designated check-in area or hope you’re lucky enough to stumble upon the reserves that will be hidden throughout the arena. Third, please avoid shooting people in the face. Finally-and this is more a suggestion than a rule-you have plenty of time to prepare. Get creative in your approach. We know we will.
“Finally, we're giving you the opportunity to cut your entrance fee in half by staying after the game to help clean up. See me, Annie Edison, if you have any questions.
“We hope to see you on March 22nd.”
###
Jeff and Annie have been dating for seventy-six days.
He knows he's a total sap for knowing that, but he's been keeping track almost by accident.
Every morning when he wakes up to an impossibly cute text message from her or-even better-Annie in his bed, warm and naked and the only person in the world who makes bedhead look sexy, he feels intensely grateful.
But, in the midst of marveling at how he's the luckiest person in the whole goddamn world, insecurities creep up on him.
Like, what if she decides their age difference is too limiting someday? Or what if she realizes that he's a loser in a shitty job and he's pretty much reached the end of the line as far as his career goes?
What if he does or says something stupid or offensive that makes her leave forever?
They're haunting questions, but Jeff's doing a pretty good job of not dwelling on them. (A pretty good job for him, that is.)
So when his stomach starts gurgling with dread and his anxiety betrays him, Jeff just reminds himself that it's been x number of days and she's still with him, still loves him. Every day the number is higher and more comforting.
Today that number is seventy-six.
"How many more places are we going to look at?" Troy whines from the backseat of the Lexus, and Jeff is jarred back to reality. He tugs his gaze away from Annie-in the passenger seat rewriting her notes in different colored pens according to her special system-just in time to see the traffic light change to green.
"There are three left on the list," Annie answers without looking up.
"But I'm tired and hungry and the rain soaked through my shoes and socks so my feet are all pruned."
"What are you," Jeff says, "101 Dalmatians?"
"No," Troy crosses his arms and pouts out his lower lip. "But I don't want to look at any more apartments. They're all stupid and have too much space and I'm distracted so I can't properly picture what it'd be like to live in any of them. Why did we do this the day before paintball?"
Jeff pokes Annie in the arm as he obeys his GPS's command to merge onto the highway back toward the center of Greendale. "He has a good point. Why are we doing this when paintball is nigh?"
She rolls her eyes at them. "Because it's just a game and there's no reason to put our lives on hold for it." Troy gasps as though Annie's said something blasphemous. "And because most of the places in your price range are holding open houses today and tomorrow. We’re obviously not going tomorrow, so.”
“We shouldn’t be going today,” Troy says. “We have to strategize.”
“We’ll get back just in time for the group strategy meeting,” Annie assures. “These last three places are much closer to town."
"Abed still has no idea this is happening, right? He hasn’t asked you any leading questions? Snuck up on you in the shower for an ambush?"
"No," Annie taps her pink pen against her lips. "But if you keep acting all twitchy every time he asks you how you're doing, he might start."
Troy ignores her, nervously kicking the back of Jeff's seat. "You didn’t see him trailing us when we left this morning, did you? I tried to watch for his car, but most cars look the same. And they're all colors the ground can be: sand-colored, rock-colored, wet grass-colored." He ticks them off on his fingers.
"I've been very sneaky," Annie assures. "I've even been clearing my search history after I look up anything real-estate-related. But I still say you should talk to him. It'll be really obvious when you move out, and I think he'll be more hurt if you disappear without telling him than if you face this head-on."
"Dear, sweet Annie," Troy leans forward in his seat to place a hand on her shoulder. "Leave the handling of Abed to me." Jeff snorts and glances over in time to catch Annie pointedly cocking an eyebrow at Troy. "That's not what I meant!" he says, flustered, and sits back again.
"Do whatever you want," Annie turns in her seat to look back at Troy, "but don't be surprised when I have my 'I Told You So' moment."
"Don't be surprised when Abed doesn't care enough to even react."
Annie shoots Jeff a worried look at the same time he rolls his eyes, exasperated, in her direction.
"I don't think-" Jeff starts.
Troy huffs and cuts him off. "Can we talk about something else?"
Thankfully, Annie saves Jeff from having to come up with anything. “I’m actually really excited to see the next place. The realtor handling the property is a real up-and-comer who only shows unique spaces. I think you’re going to like it.”
"I hope so because then we can go home," Troy grumps.
"Uh-huh," Jeff says, sharing a meaningful look with Annie. And then the conversation is effectively over.
Thankfully, they only have to endure another five minutes of Troy grumbling agitatedly in the backseat before Jeff pulls up to an industrial-grey brick building strategically covered with moss and vines. He parallel parks on the street and tugs the hood of his jacket up over his hair so it won't get wet in the constant drizzle.
The lobby of the building is expansive with a high ceiling and marble floors. Jeff watches Annie's own hood fall back as she strains her neck to look up at the ritzy chandelier.
"Whoa," Troy says, his voice echoing in all the empty space. "Are you sure I can afford this?"
"Rent is definitely on the higher end of the range you gave me, but we're looking at a studio apartment here, which is cheaper by design."
"I'm going to live like Eloise," Troy muses, staring wide-eyed at his own reflection in the polished floor.
"That's not a bad idea; we should get a nanny to keep an eye on you," Jeff quips.
"I'll have endless adventures anyway."
"Yes, that is essentially the plot of the Eloise franchise," Annie says. "C'mon, the apartment's on the fourth floor."
Even the elevator is excessive and every surface is shiny and reflective. Jeff stoops down to hug Annie from behind and whisper in her ear, "It's too bad we're not alone. I've always wanted the bragging rights that come with pulling off sex in an elevator."
She meets the reflection of his gaze and winks.
"I can hear you, you know."
"Sorry, Troy," they apologize in unison.
The fourth-floor hallway is covered in plush raspberry-colored carpet, and Jeff's feet sink deep into the material every time he takes a step. Annie leads them down the hall to apartment 408. The door is propped open, so they venture inside.
A tall, blonde woman in a fitted pantsuit nods at them and holds up a manicured finger to indicate she'll be with them soon before turning her attention back to a polished couple in their thirties.
“Damn,” Troy nods his head, wandering further into the room and turning around to take it all in. The wall across from the entrance is lined with three inviting windows-one with a padded window seat that overlooks the street-while the parallel-running wall is lined with burnished dark wood cubbies. The two other walls feature exposed brick, and the center of the room is open and cozy. Two sets of stairs cut into the wall of cubbies and lead up to two different platforms. The one closest to the door leads up to the bedroom, a wrought iron railing strategically placed to keep sleepers from accidentally wandering off the edge. A fireplace is built into the brick wall below the bedroom platform. The second raised area is a kitchen, equipped with a sleek, silver refrigerator and a dishwasher. “This room is fit for a Beastmaster.”
“I know you’re preserving Pierce’s legacy and all, but maybe let things like that die with him. Please. For the love of all that is holy.”
“I don’t know,” Annie shrugs, “I miss some of the more innocuous Pierce-isms.”
Jeff grins skeptically at her, and Troy rushes over to wrap his arms around her. “I’m sorry I was so grumpy earlier. This place is the best and I love it and I love you.”
She hugs him back. “Well, hang on. Let’s get the tour before we make any life-changing decisions.”
As if on cue, the couple leaves with mumbled ‘thanks’ and the real estate agent hones her attention in on Jeff. “Well hello there, sir. My name is Courtney Chase. What can I do for you?” Ms. Chase’s eyes sweep over his body and Jeff immediately checks to see if Annie's noticed.
She did.
“Jeff Winger,” he says. “And this is Troy Barnes. He’s actually the one interested in leasing the place.”
“Hmm.” Ms. Chase quirks an eyebrow at Jeff before turning her megawatt smile on Troy.
“This place is so cool. It’s totally the set for an indie movie with a lot of sex scenes and really introspective characters. And that wall can display my bobblehead collection!”
“It has a certain charm, yes." Ms. Chase tilts her head and sizes Troy up. "We’ll need to run a credit check and review your application before anything is finalized, of course, but would you like the grand tour?”
Troy agrees, and the realtor starts leading them around the space, pointing out selling points and making a lot of suggestive comments about the shower and the window seat and the bedroom while looking directly at Jeff. And, is it just him, or is she handling her pen in the most obscene way possible?
By the time they’ve made it to the kitchen-and Ms. Chase is wrapping up her spiel-Annie’s gripping his forearm so tightly (possessively?) that he’s certain her nails have left marks.
“So,” Ms. Chase grins slickly at Troy after she finishes telling him about the merits of the farmhouse sink, “Impressive, right?”
“I want it. Can I get it Annie? Can I, can I?"
"It's your money," Annie smiles fondly and pats Troy on the cheek. "Let's fill out an application."
Ms. Chase directs them to the kitchen table and Annie sits next to Troy to make sure he fills everything out correctly.
"So, Mr. Winger," Ms. Chase stands next to him at the head of the table and sucks on the tip of her pen, "are you sure I can't interest you in anything?"
He scoots a few inches away, and-damn if this woman isn't weirdly aggressive-Ms. Chase follows.
Is he being punked?
"I'm quite satisfied with my current…living arrangements," Jeff says, glancing over at Annie. She's either totally oblivious-too busy arguing with Troy about what his social security number is-or really good at listening discreetly.
Ms. Chase studies Annie with narrowed eyes. "I see. Well, in case you're ever looking for some new satisfaction, here's my card."
Jeff tries to refuse it by waving her off, but Ms. Chase slides the paper rectangle into the breast pocket of Jeff's raincoat. "Um, great," he manages.
After Annie and Troy finish up, Ms. Chase leads the trio to the door and wishes them well, going so far as to wink at Jeff as they walk into the hallway.
"That was weird," Jeff says as soon as they're in the elevator.
"What was?" Annie asks, smiling up at him and hooking her finger in a belt loop on Jeff's pants to pull him toward her.
"Ms. Chase," he prompts. Annie raises her eyebrows, confused. "Coming on to me."
"Oh," she shrugs. "I don't know. You are a very attractive man."
Jeff gapes as the elevator opens in the lobby. He lets Annie drag him across the marble floor to the front entrance. The drizzling has stopped, but the rain clouds are pervasive and the world is trapped in a gloomy grey. "You weren't bothered at all?" he asks.
Annie laughs and says, "No," matter-of-factly.
He should feel relieved, right? But Jeff's stomach bottoms out and he gnaws at the corner of his lip.
Huh.
###
For some reason, Jeff can't drop the fact that Ms. Chase was flirting with him and brings it up again as they drive back to the apartment.
"But it was so forceful. I mean, come on, what was that pen thing about?"
"Dude, this is a weird fixation. Even for you," Troy says.
"So you're saying it didn't seem absurd or intense? Neither of you thought something was off?"
"She was definitely coming on strong," Annie allows. "But who cares, right? You'll most likely never see her again."
"Oh, I know a leading question when I hear one. You think I was interested, don't you?"
Annie feels her eyebrows come together with concern and rubs Jeff's thigh. "Are you feeling okay, honey?"
Jeff growls instead of answering.
"You know you can talk to me about what's going on in that head of yours." She scratches her nails through the soft hair at the back of Jeff's neck affectionately.
He sighs and leans back into the touch. "Never mind. We should forget about it, right?"
Annie nods. "Definitely."
They get back to the apartment an hour before the strategy meeting is supposed to start, but Britta, Chang, and the dean are already there, poring over blueprints of Pierce's mansion with Abed.
"Hey," Abed greets. "Where have you guys been?"
"Certainly not looking at apartments, that's for sure," Troy says, too loud.
"Smooth," Jeff snarks.
Annie shoots them both a look. "I had, um, a dentist's appointment," she improvises. "I asked Troy and Jeff to come along for moral support. We didn't ask you to come because I know the smell of fluoride makes you sick."
Abed doesn't look entirely convinced, but he shrugs. "Cool. Cool cool cool."
"How often do you go to the dentist?" Dean Pelton asks. "I've always thought you have very nice teeth, and often wonder about the maintenance."
"Aww," Annie smiles brightly, flattered. "I know it's a pain, but flossing every day really does help."
"No way," Chang says. "I exclusively use mouthwash, and my teeth are perfectly healthy."
He smiles in Britta’s face and she pushes him away. "Your breath smells like that time Susie B. crawled under my couch to die but I didn't find her body for three days."
"One day there will be no toothpaste," he insists ominously. "Only mouthwash."
"Okay then. I'm going to call Shirley and Duncan and let them know to come over early. Jeff, could you order pizza for everyone?" Annie asks.
"Sure thing, Chandler Bing."
Annie laughs as she dials Shirley's cell.
Britta flashes her a thumbs-up and says, "I'll call Duncan." Annie waggles her eyebrows, and Britta sticks out her tongue.
"Hello," Shirley sing-songs when she answers the phone.
"Hey. Most everyone came over early, so if you're not already on your way over, might as well come now."
"Is that right?"
Annie narrowly avoids snorting at the obvious passive-aggression in Shirley's voice. "It just kind of happened," she says. "See you soon?"
"Uh-huh," Shirley clucks.
Twenty minutes later, when the pizza, Shirley, and Duncan have arrived, Abed takes command of the group.
"Okay people. In seventeen hours we will be in the heat of battle, facing trials of wit and physical endurance."
"Huzzah!" Troy interjects.
"Since Troy lived there for a while, I figured he can take us through the all the secret passageways and rooms in Hawthorne Manor that we can use to our advantage."
Troy salutes Abed, businesslike, and then draws everyone's attention to the blueprints. He talks for nearly forty minutes, outlining the purpose of each room and offering random facts he had to remember for Pierce's roommate test.
And then Britta gets a slice of pizza and everything goes to hell.
"Ew, fuck, get it off, get it off," she screeches, spitting into a napkin and scraping at her tongue.
"What's wrong?" Shirley asks.
"There was a pepperoni under the cheese, waiting to ambush me. Ugh, shit, this is nasty. Annie, can I use your toothbrush? I have to get this taste out of my mouth."
"Gross." Annie wrinkles her nose. "You barely even chewed it. Just suck on a mint or something."
"There's gum in the pocket of my coat," Jeff says.
"I can't believe you'd insult pepperoni like that," Troy shakes his head.
'Whoa," Britta comes back to the table holding Ms. Chase's calling card, gum forgotten. "Whatcha got here, Winger?"
Troy shoots Annie a panicked look.
"Uh…"
"Are you and Annie looking for a place together?" she guesses.
Shirley gasps and Abed's eyes get wide.
"What?" Annie squawks, "No! No. We were, you know, at the dentist's office. And, uh, this realtor lady was hitting on Jeff and gave him her card."
"And you're just okay with that?" Britta asks, getting that gleam in her eyes that means she thinks she's found another person to therapize.
"Yeah," Jeff turns to Annie. "You're just okay with that?"
"I thought we were going to forget about this," Annie says pointedly.
"I mean, since the subject came up naturally, why not discuss it some more?"
"Because there's nothing to discuss."
"You think I enjoyed it, don't you? That I led her on, invited her advances."
Annie looks around the table. Everyone is watching them intently. "This really isn't the place to be having this conversation," she points out.
Duncan, who retrieved the piece of pizza Britta bit into, says, "You're not bothering us. Please, carry on with your domestic row."
"Why are you, Annie, she who ran through a glass door after not winning a silly high-school award, being so calm about this?"
She gasps and recoils, hurt. "Is that was this is about?" Her voice rises. "You need me to feel jealous so I can validate you?"
"Yes!" Jeff shouts back at her, his voice cracking a little.
And just like that, the anger is gone. Annie deflates. "Oh."
Jeff's right leg starts bouncing and he won't look her-or anyone-in the eye.
"Excuse us," Annie says, grabbing Jeff's hand and tugging him into her bedroom.
"Come on," she hears Chang say. "Let's listen at the door."
Annie rolls her eyes and sits down on the bed next to Jeff. "So."
"So," he repeats, his entire body angled away from her.
Annie gently grabs his chin and encourages him to look at her. "I love you," she says fiercely.
Jeff gulps and finally looks her in the eye. "I love you, too."
"Okay, good. Do you want me to explain why I wasn't jealous?"
Jeff nods and purses his lips. "And maybe cut back on the condescending tone."
She huffs a laugh. "Jeff, you were so clearly not interested in her. I wasn't jealous because you didn't give me a reason to be jealous."
He considers this. "Huh. Go me." He's quiet for a bit longer, and when he talks again his voice is low. "But shouldn't you have been, I don't know, even a little miffed at her?"
Annie smiles softly and cups Jeff's cheek with her hand. He covers it with his own. "I was. But Troy definitely wasn't going to get that apartment if I had started fighting the agent in charge of showing it. So I sent her some nonverbal signals."
Jeff grins. "So if she hadn't been showing an apartment that Troy wants, you would have fought her?"
"Oh yeah. There would have been a total smackdown."
"What are we talking here, pillow fight? Tub of Jell-O?"
"Gross, Jeff." Annie smacks his chest. He catches her hand and kisses the pad of each finger. "We're good?" she checks.
"We're good," he confirms.
"Uh, guys?" Britta bursts into the room. "You didn't whisper quietly enough."
Annie's about to question what the hell Britta means by that when she hears Abed ask in a loud, clipped tone. "Are you or are you not planning to move out?"
"Come on, Ab-"
"Are you," Abed's voice is colder and even flatter than usual, "or are you not planning to move out?"
Troy sighs and rubs at the back of his neck. "I am."
Without another word, Abed turns on his heel, walks into his bedroom, and slams the door behind him. Troy stands in the center of the room, tears welling and shoulders slumped.
"How 'bout that!" Duncan looks at the watch on his wrist. "It's time for Craig, Ben, and me to go."
Britta nods thankfully and Annie rushes to Troy's side and starts rubbing his back.
"We're a part of the group," the dean complains as Duncan tugs him out the door.
"Yeah, why can't we stay and see how it ends?" Chang whines.
"See you tomorrow morning," Duncan waves as the door closes.
"You're not going to actually say it, right?" Troy looks weepily at Annie.
"Say what?"
"I told you so."
"Oh, Troy," she pulls him into a hug. "Of course not."
"Abed," Britta knocks at his door. "Come out so we can talk, buddy."
"No. Tell that traitor he ruined paintball and our friendship. Forever."
"Surely you don't mean that," Shirley says. "Forgiveness is divine, Abed."
"Well, despite popular opinion, I'm not a god," he responds through the door.
"Popular opinion?" Shirley questions indignantly.
At the same time Troy shouts, "Yeah, exactly! You can't just control people's lives like you own them."
Abed bursts back out into the common room. Annie can see the hurt and anger in his eyes and the in the way his mouth is twisted in a tiny grimace. Her stomach jumps in response. "You want to talk about control? Good, let's talk about control. Every time you leave, I lose mine."
Troy rolls his eyes and a big, wet tear rolls down his cheek. "Right, you're such a loose cannon."
"When you sacrificed your life to the AC Repair school to save the dean I was almost dominated by Evil!Abed. I almost killed Jeff with a bone saw."
"Okay, I have no recollection of this and it makes me really uncomfortable when you say that," Jeff interjects. Annie elbows him in the stomach.
"But you came back. I thought that darkness was behind me. Except then you decided to leave me again, this time to travel around the entire world. Do you remember what Jeff said? He could have found a loophole in Pierce's will. You could have let him read it. You could have still gotten rich without having to go. But instead you chose to leave. And I went to another dark place." He gets more heated with every sentence, his voice measured and intense. "And now I find out that you’re planning to leave me again. You know me better than anyone else-you’re my best friend-and you’re always leaving. Do you know how despicable that makes me feel?"
Abed’s eyes go wide and he falls into a chair at the kitchen table, covering his face with his hands.
A stunned silence pervades the room.
Troy is the first to recover, moving to sit next to Abed at the table. “I only left because I love you so much.”
Annie whips her head around to look at Jeff, who seems as surprised as she feels. Shirley gasps audibly, and Britta smiles, tears pooling in her eyes.
“I know when Pierce said my life was consumed by another man he didn’t mean Clive Owen. I know he was talking about you. And I guess I was afraid that he was right. Like, what if I didn’t have an identity outside of being one half of Trobed? While I was away, though, I was so miserable. I felt like that bird Paulie from the movie Paulie.”
“The cinematography in that movie is excellent,” Abed says, the sound muffled by his hands.
"It is,” Troy agrees. He reaches out tentatively to place a hand on Abed’s shoulder. “The whole time I was gone, I just wanted to return to you. Or have you come join me to experience all the cool things I got to. And that’s when I realized so what? So what if my identity is one-half Abed. People are always going on about finding the one person they want to spend their life having adventures with, and I already did. But I left him, so I’m sorry about that. You’re my best friend, too, and when I came back it seemed like you didn’t need me anymore. So I kinda freaked out.”
Abed finally pulls his hands away from his face, and Annie feels a lump form in her throat. She’s never seen him cry before, but his cheeks are wet and his eyes are rimmed red.
“I forgive you,” he says after a moment. “For leaving. And I’m sorry for making you feel unwelcome. There’s always room in my cast for you.”
“Thanks. I love you, Abed.”
Abed nods. “I love you, Troy. Can we be best friends again?”
Troy holds his hands out in position for their handshake. Abed grins and then slaps his chest as well as Troy’s outstretched hand.
“You guys,” Britta sniffles. “I am so good at making you open up.”
“Actually,” Jeff starts to correct her, but Annie gives him a look and mouths just let her have this. He rolls his eyes and then holds his arms out. “Bring it in, everybody.”
They all huddle together for a group hug.
Spoilers: If you've watched through s5, nothing should be spoiled for you.
Word Count: 8,625
Rating/Warnings: This chapter doesn't contain any explicit sexytimes, but this story still talks about sex a decent amount.
Disclaimer: These character's belong to Dan Harmon, etc., etc. I simply enjoy manipulating them.
Author's Note: A hearty thank you to bethanyactually who still had this chapter edited on time even though I was late writing the end of it. I could not have asked for a better beta. The title comes from a Four Star Mary song called "She Knows."
The bad news is that I'm going to take another week off posting. I'm expecting paintball to be a pretty long chapter, and I need the extra time to write it all. The good news is, including paintball, there are still three chapters left of this fic. So plenty of J/A fluff and smut to go. :)
[Part 3a] [Part 3b]
Thursdays are not kind to Annie. She has two labs, two normal classes, and the closing shift at Barnes and Noble. Not to mention assignments to complete, reading to keep up with, and balancing all her extracurriculars (which now includes a generous amount of time spent with Jeff).
It's only the third week of the semester, and she already feels exhaustion hitting her hard. Usually having a full schedule crowded with activities energizes Annie, but there's a chance she may have taken on too much, trying to get all that she can out of her last semester at Greendale.
She's thinking about the lab report she should write so she doesn't miss the 9:00 deadline tomorrow morning, and the grant Troy wrote that needs (a lot of) editing, and everything on her growing list of things to do as she trudges up the stairs of her building to the third floor.
Her key isn't jiggling right in the lock and Annie's about to lose it when the door flies open and she's suddenly swept into a Jeff hug.
Her body melts into his and it's like she's taking her first, desperate gulp of air after being submerged in water all day.
"I didn't know you were going to be here," Annie sighs against his chest.
"Surprise." She can hear the smile in his voice so she lets her head loll back to bask in the warmth of it.
"What's the occasion?"
"You've been on edge this week, and I thought you could use a reprieve." He leads her further into the apartment to a table set with all the fixings for tacos.
"This smells amazing," Annie compliments as she removes her backpack and sets it on the kitchen counter.
"He wouldn't let me eat any of it," Troy says, making her jump. He's pouting on his bed (the fold-out couch), old Looney Tunes cartoons playing quietly on the television.
Jeff rolls his eyes. "I told you that you can have whatever's leftover."
"I don't want to be fed scraps like a dog," Troy whines. Then, after a moment of consideration, "I take that back. Sounds awesome."
Annie checks her watch: a quarter to midnight. "Okay, we'll eat and then have ten minutes of snuggling and digesting before I have to work."
Jeff narrows his eyes, looking ready to negotiate. "Fifteen minutes."
She can't cave. Allowing Jeff an extra minute-or five-only convinces him to bargain for more.
And he knows exactly the way to look at her to make her resolve crumble.
If fact, he's giving her the look now, all puppy-dog eyes and pouty mouth atop rippling muscles….
"No," she points a stern finger at him, shaking herself out of the trance. "Bad. I can't. I have a lot of work to do."
"And I'll I'm asking for is five measly additional minutes before you devote your energy to taking the world by storm." He raises his eyebrows and takes two tantalizingly slow steps toward her until they're pressed up against each other.
God, now that she knows exactly what's under his (annoying, unnecessary) clothes, her libido kicks into overdrive every time he's right there.
"Fifteen minutes and not a second longer." His smile unfurls, triumphant. "I'm serious," she says firmly.
"I'll be good." But his evil, evil grin makes her think otherwise.
"Do you two mind?" Troy says. "I'm trying to enjoy my bedtime stories."
"You're watching cartoons," Annie points out.
"Are you saying cartoons don’t have a storyline? Besides, they relax me."
She shakes her head fondly and sits down at the table. Jeff sits across from her, and she can feel him watching her as she scoops shredded chicken onto a tortilla.
"How was work?" he asks once he starts preparing his own late dinner.
"Exhausting," Annie gripes. "Thorin was weirdly motivated to do work today, so we reorganized the stock room and spent more time cleaning up after close than usual."
"That bastard."
She chuckles. "It's fine. Clearly I survived. How were classes?"
Jeff perks up. “I’m glad you asked. I have a proposal for you.”
“Oh yeah? What’s that?”
“Well, Garrett was bragging to a few of my advanced students about his involvement in the Ass Crack Bandit case, and it gave me an idea.”
“Garrett was bragging about being cracked?”
“His life is sad and meaningless, Annie. He’s a Greendale lifer.”
She cocks a pointed eyebrow at him.
“I’m going to get out eventually,” he insists.
“Mhmm.”
“I am.”
“I just don’t think you should be so judgmental of Garrett.”
“Yeah,” Troy chimes in. “He may be to people what beanbag chairs are to places for resting your butt, but he gets major points for going about his life like he’s a La-Z-Boy.”
Jeff purses his lips as if thinking up a response, but then decides to leave it be. “Anyway, we’re on the chapter about proper courtroom procedure, and I thought it would be cool to do a practical demonstration.”
“Such as?”
“Well, would you be free to make a guest appearance on Tuesday?”
Annie smiles and gets up to retrieve her planner from her bag. She flips to the coming Tuesday. “What time is that class again?”
“4:45 to 6 o’clock.”
She writes it in. “I’ll be there.”
“Excellent,” Jeff says and takes a bite of his taco.
“While I have this out,” she taps the pen against the leather cover, “have you confirmed the dates we can use the mansion with Gilbert, Troy?”
“Saturday March 22nd,” Troy says. “We’re a go for paintball.”
“Everyone’ll be excited.” Annie smiles to herself as she flips forward to March and takes note.
As soon as she takes the first bite of her taco, all conversation ceases as she focuses her energy on devouring much-needed food.
Once she’s too full to eat anything else, she sits back in her chair and folds her hands over her stomach. “That was delicious. Thanks, Jeff.”
“Anything for you.” He waggles his eyebrows and it makes her laugh.
Troy, noticing they’re done, gets off the couch. “Are you really going to make me beg for the leftovers?” he checks.
“Of course not. Just sit down like a regular person,” Jeff says.
Pleased, Troy slides into a chair and immediately tears into the food. His mouth his full when he manages a muffled, “Thanks, Jeff. ‘Sgood.”
Jeff makes a disgusted face and stands to clear some dishes off the table.
“Slow down,” Annie says, “You’re going to give yourself a stomachache.”
Troy gulps down a particularly large mouthful and reaches for Annie’s water. She doesn’t protest.
“Hey, I need a favor,” he says, whispering.
“Sounds serious,” Jeff comments, sitting back down.
“It is serious,” Troy confirms. “Super-secret serious. You can’t tell Abed about what I’m going to ask you.”
“Oh, Troy, I don’t know if I’m comf-”
“I need your help looking for an apartment,” he says over her, squeezing his eyes shut so he doesn’t have to see her reaction.
“Oh,” Annie squeaks.
“Wow,” Jeff adds.
“Yeah.” Troy shakes his head. “I don’t want to sleep on the couch anymore, and I don’t want to ask Abed to give up his personal space. I mean, things are different and I’m not sure…” he trails off. “Anyway, can you do it? Can you help me find a place?”
Annie sucks nervously on her lower lip and nods. “Okay.”
Troy throws his arms around her. “Thanks, Annie. You’re the best.”
“Give me a price range and I can pick out a few places around town to go look at.”
He bounces happily in his seat and takes another inadvisably large bite of food.
“You ready for those digestion snuggles?” Jeff asks. Annie nods and gathers her things. “We’re sticking you with the cleanup, scrap boy.”
“Ooh,” Troy gasps. “Scrap Boy and Wonder Dog: Adventures in Eating!”
“Yeaaaah,” Jeff claps him on the back. “Those adventures include cleaning up, right?”
Troy waves off his concern. “Yeah, yeah.”
Jeff flops onto her bed the minute they get to Annie’s room and she eases the door shut. She sets a timer on her phone before curling up on her side next to him.
“So that was an unexpected development,” Jeff says quietly as he trails his hand up her thigh, over her hip, and around her back to settle between her shoulder blades and pull her closer to him.
“It was and it wasn’t,” she grabs fistfuls of his shirt and tugs him as close as she can.
He grunts his agreement, his eyes glimmering with what Annie can only assume are lustful thoughts.
Sure enough, before she has the time to question him, his mouth is over hers, moving insistently. She moans, low and long, into his mouth and juts her hips forward.
She pulls back to catch her breath after several moments, but Jeff continues on without her, his hot breath tickling along her jawline.
“Fifteen minutes,” she reminds him breathlessly.
He nips at her earlobe in response.
Twenty-five minutes later, naked and wrapped in a sheet, Annie goes to work on her lab report as Jeff continues to snooze in her bed.
###
Jeff’s advanced law class is easily his favorite of the semester. There are only thirteen students, and they’re always eager to hear stories about Jeff’s past courtroom successes. He gets to feel like a wise mentor for an hour and fifteen minutes every Tuesday and Thursday, which is a nice change of pace from feeling like a big fake.
“Evening, class,” Jeff says as he walks to the front of 216 South Hall and throws his briefcase down on the rickety metal desk. “Did you guys get my email?”
Several of the kids murmur confirmation.
“Good. Then you’ve gathered some information on the assailant known as the Ass Crack Bandit?”
More muttering.
“C’mon guys, speak up. It’s going to get real awkward real fast for those of you who are unprepared. Save yourselves the embarrassment and raise your hands now if you don’t have anything.”
Five hands go up.
“Fine. We don’t have time for everyone to participate anyway. And since the assignment was last-minute, I’ll give those of you who didn’t do the work a pass on today’s participation points. But I expect a one-page write up about the demonstration today.”
The five unprepared students look a little put out but don’t argue.
Annie sweeps into the room then, out of breath and red-cheeked from rushing across campus. “Sorry I’m late,” she addresses Jeff and waves to the class as she bounces to the front of the room.
“Nah, you’re right on time,” Jeff assures her. “Class, this is Annie Edison. You may know her as Greendale’s resident overachiever, leader of the Save Greendale Committee, or writer of challenging and fun crosswords for the Gazette Journal Mirror. And, if you did your research, you definitely know her as the lead investigator on the ACB case.”
Several students perk up, looking impressed and interested.
Annie flushes. “You’re overselling me. I led an unofficial investigation. And, as many of you already know, the Bandit was never apprehended.”
“Not yet,” Jeff amends. Annie rolls her eyes playfully at him. “And, anyway, for the sake of today’s class, we’re going to pretend they were. We’re going to perform a mock trial where the Ass Crack Bandit’s being charged with crimes against humanity. Everyone who did research will get the chance to play lawyer and question Miss Edison here. We’re going to count off by twos to see who’s going to question for the defense and who’s prosecuting. Bryant, we’ll start with you.”
After the room’s been split into two teams-and the scraping of desks being rearranged dies down-Jeff gives the students fifteen minutes to go over their collective notes and prepare.
He pulls a chair up next to the professor’s desk for Annie and then sits down.
“This is so cool,” Annie bounces in her seat. “Getting to see you in professor mode. You’ve grown so much.”
He’d be exasperated or flustered if she didn’t sound so damn proud of him. “Well, my first week of teaching a real compulsive type gave me a hard time for being a slacker. She’s been pushing me to get my ass in gear ever since.”
“She sounds very reasonable and magnanimous, and she probably has really nice hair.”
Jeff narrows his eyes, but he can’t seem to stop smiling. “I can neither confirm nor deny that.”
Once the fifteen minutes are up, Jeff pounds on his desk and calls for order. “Any brave lawyers in-the-making want to volunteer to go first?”
One of his shyer students, Oliva, raises her hands. Jeff frowns and waves her forward, impressed.
“All right, the prosecution has it.”
Olivia’s flats are a little too big for her, and she trips over her feet on the way to the front of the classroom.
“Um, hello,” she addresses Annie, tucking her stringy blonde hair behind her ear.
“No need to greet the witness,” Jeff says.
Olivia flushes red and Annie gives her a kind smile. The girl rolls her shoulders back and grips her notebook tighter. “Miss Edison,” Oliva tries again, “You have a strong connection to the Ass Crack Bandit’s case, right?” She flushes an even brighter shade on the word ‘ass,’ her voice cracking ever so slightly.
Annie nods amiably. “You could say that, yes.”
“You, um, have known him longer than most.”
Annie’s nose scrunches. “Okay, I know that the Bandit’s supposedly been caught for the sake of this activity, but we really don’t know the gender of the assailant. You should try to avoid gendering them.”
Jeff cocks his eyebrow at her. “I will give them permission to treat you as hostile.”
“I’m just saying, accuracy is important.” Jeff’s stare is unwavering. “Okay, fine, sorry. Continue,” she prompts Olivia.
“O-okay,” Oliva studies her notebook, her eyebrows drawn together. “Um, reports of the 2011 student election at Greendale Community College show the first ever mention of the Ass Crack Bandit. I mean, I think. We only had the weekend to dig up information.”
“Never admit you’re underprepared,” Jeff says, rubbing a hand over his face. “That goes for court and life.”
“Yes,” Annie confirms. “The ACB was terrorizing the school for some time before the administration did anything about it.”
“Only in fits and starts though, right? There wasn’t a constant stream of activity?”
“That’s true.”
“Come on,” Jeff sighs. “You’re the prosecution. Your goal is to make the ACB look like the bad guy. Highlighting periods of inactivity is poor strategy.”
“Whoops. Sorry. So, uh, the most extensive record of the Bandit’s activities-submitted to campus security and made public record after the case went cold-was actually a binder full of articles and personal speculation that you put together. That’s correct, right?”
“Be more direct with your questions,” Jeff suggests. Olivia twists the metal binding on her notebook and nods weakly.
“Yes, I had been keeping track of the Bandit’s activities.”
“Would you mind outlining a few attacks for the record?”
“Better,” Jeff approves.
“Not at all. I was first made aware of the ACB when I attended a budget meeting for which a protest had been planned regarding an informative anti-drug skit I was running. The Bandit “cracked”, or dropped coins between the gluteal muscles, of several individuals on the board. Needless to say, the meeting was postponed. Later, the Bandit attacked three innocent students during a Greendale versus City College baseball game. And, perhaps the most heinous of all, the ACB targeted a dear friend of mine and an esteemed professor while we were in the midst of our investigation.”
“Wasn’t it Professor Duncan?” Daniel, another student on Olivia’s team, says. “I’d hardly call him esteemed.”
“No contributions from the peanut gallery,” Jeff says.
Olivia seems lost for a bit, biting the corner of her lip and staring intently at her notes. “Um, I think, if this were a real courtroom, I’d submit evidence now. The pages from the binder that corroborate Miss Edison’s first two stories.”
Jeff nods. “I’d say that’s a good move.”
Oliva grins, clearly proud of herself, and lets out a long sigh of relief. “How would you respond to the speculation that your binder could be interpreted as a trophy?”
“Well that’s not really-” Jeff starts, but Annie cuts him off.
“No, that’s fine. I’ll respond to the question.”
There’s an air of haughtiness in her voice that catches Jeff’s attention. He tilts his head at her in question, but she’s returned her focus to Olivia.
“My goal has always been to make Greendale a better, safer place for students and staff. I understand how the binder could be misconstrued as boasting, but my detailed coverage of the Bandit’s crimes was selflessly gathered in the name of justice.”
Okay, maybe he’s being paranoid, but Annie’s answer comes off as practiced. Momentarily forgetting that he’s supposed to be teaching the class, Jeff cuts off Olivia’s next question. “While it’s certainly true that you usually have Greendale’s best interests in mind, your methods aren’t always selfless,” he points out. “Let’s not forget the time you almost sold out the dean to improve your chances of transferring to a better school. Or how you let Pierce bribe you into making a mockery of the aforementioned anti-drug skit.”
“There were extenuating circumstances,” Annie says indignantly, spinning in her chair to face him. “And what exactly are you accusing me of?”
“I’m not accusing you of anything. But you are acting really defensive.”
“Um,” Olivia shifts her weight from one foot to the other. “Should I go sit down now?”
They both ignore her.
“You know I wasn’t the Ass Crack Bandit. I physically couldn’t have done it.”
Jeff stands to pace in front of Annie’s chair, and Olivia scuttles back to her desk. “Well, no, that’s not exactly true, is it? You couldn’t cover the distance between crackings without a shortcut. But you knew about the faculty lounge. I mean, I know that was originally grounds to suspect someone on staff, but it’s not like the room is impenetrable. Especially not to someone of your intelligence and resourcefulness.”
“What, exactly, are you accusing me of?” Annie repeats.
She stares intently at him, her jaw set stubbornly. He tries to read the flickers of emotion in her eyes when suddenly her eyelashes start fluttering and her lips start to quiver.
“Oh my god,” Jeff gasps. “You were the Ass Crack Bandit.”
“Yes, okay! I did it. I did it for stupid, selfish reasons and it got out of hand.”
The class exhales a collective sharp breath, and Annie runs from the room, leaving her backpack and a stunned silence behind her.
“Holy shit,” Jeff says after a moment. “Uh, class dismissed. We’ll talk about this on Thursday.”
Not about to argue with an early dismissal, the students gather their things and start putting the room back to normal. Jeff grabs his briefcase and Annie’s bag and runs into the hall, ready to scour campus to find her.
But she hasn’t traveled very far, sitting on the floor outside the classroom.
Jeff sinks down next to her, but she won’t look at him.
“Well,” he starts, unsure what to say. “That was…wow.”
“Do you think I’m a terrible person?”
“Annie, a couple quarters down people’s pants does not a terrible person make. I’m a little confused, though.”
She finally turns to look at him and the first thing Jeff notices are the tear tracks on her cheeks. Instinctively, he brushes his thumb along the damp skin. She leans into his touch and closes her eyes.
“It started at that budget meeting I mentioned. I don’t even remember what gave me the idea, but things weren’t going well and I kind of freaked out. And then, during the student election, it seemed like an easy talking point.”
“And last year’s investigation?” he asks, lowering his voice as the students start to file out of the classroom. They step over his long, outstretched legs, and he glares to deter any lingering.
Annie snorts, self-deprecating, and opens her eyes again. “You really can’t think of any reason I might have brought the Bandit back to life?”
Jeff cocks an eyebrow, and he feels like an ass even asking the question. “Did you crack Troy just to get close to me?”
Annie wrinkles her nose at his choice of words. “Yes and no. I guess…so much had changed since we all graduated, and we were having such a hard time fitting each other into our new schedules. You weren't answering your phone at all." Jeff remembers being scared that practicing law again would turn him back into first-year Jeff, and he couldn't stand the idea of letting his friends down. Then he'd been ashamed for cutting them off for so long that, even when they stopped trying to call him, he couldn't bring himself to reach out. "When the opportunity presented itself to team up and spend time together solving a crime…well, I was kind of, I don't know, hungry for it. So I orchestrated the ACB’s most effective reign of terror yet.”
He has a ton more questions, but she looks so mortified, like she's waiting for him to yell or leave or something. So he squelches his curiosity. “I have to say, I’m…flattered.”
She gives him a skeptical look.
“No, really,” he says. “I mean, if I weren’t so emotionally crippled, we could have been doing this,” he gestures between them, “years ago. It’s not your fault you felt like you needed to make up crazy scenarios to spend time with me. So I choose to be flattered.”
"You're not emotionally crippled," she rolls her eyes, her face relaxing into a small smile, and Jeff lets out a sigh of relief.
"I think every person I've ever met would disagree."
"It's a good thing my opinion's the only one that matters, then."
Jeff smirks and kisses the tip of Annie's nose. "That's true."
She grins back at him, but something occurs to her and the smile droops. “I don’t think the group’s going to be as forgiving.”
“What, like they haven’t done crazy shit in the name of hijinks? It’ll blow over.”
She nods after a moment and then rests her head on his shoulder. He kisses her, inhaling the smell of her shampoo.
“And you’re sure this doesn’t make you want to run for the hills?” she checks.
Jeff scoffs. “Oh, please. I always knew a life with Annie Edison meant a life of constant surprise. But, just so we’re clear, you’re not hiding any other nefarious secret identities from me, are you?”
“That depends…”
“On?”
“Whether you want that darkest timeline fantasy of yours to ever become reality.”
He perks up. “Don’t you tease me.”
Annie smirks, crawling into his lap right there in the middle of the hallway, and kisses him till his head spins.
###
“I just hold this down, and I’ll be broadcast over all the speakers in the school?” Annie asks.
The dean nods enthusiastically and claps his hands together. “This is so exciting. The students who gather to boo me as I get out of my car in the morning might even take the week off after hearing the good news.”
Annie winks at him, takes a sip of water, and clears her throat. Then she breathes in and presses the beige, rectangular button.
“Good morning, Greendale Human Beings! Annie Edison here with an announcement many of you will be pleased to hear.
"As you know, the Save Greendale Committee has been hard at work raising money for the school, and, at the end of the year, we’re holding a student showcase. In essence, we’re giving you the chance to show off your work, be it a term paper you’ve been writing or research you’ve been conducting. You bring your best and we’ll fill the cafeteria with leading academics and innovators in your field. We’re going to earn the money you need to work with all the resources available at any four-year university. We’re going to help you lay the groundwork for your futures, your careers.
“In order to reserve a table display in the cafeteria on the night of, I need interested students to fill out the form that can be found in the lobby newsstands of every building on campus. Please return completed forms to Jeff Winger’s faculty mailbox.
“Since we need money to make the showcase a success, we’re holding a fundraiser. You guys voted, and we listened. So prepare your paintball guns, everyone, because we’re playing a game of Paintball Assassin on March 22nd!” She pauses when cheers erupt in the halls. Once the loudest of the ruckus is over, Annie continues, “Starting at 10:00am, you can come to the Hawthorne Manor-see any Save Greendale Committee member for the address and directions-and pay the $10 entrance fee for a chance to win the game.
“Your objective will be to take out any and all of the nine members of the Save Greendale Committee, including Dean Pelton, before we take you out. The game will continue so long as players are still in action.
“There are a few rules you must keep in mind or you will be tossed out of the arena. First, the manor has been graciously donated for our use; keep the vandalism in check. Second, bring as much ammo as you like. Once you run out, you will have to pay $1 for a case of ten pellets at our designated check-in area or hope you’re lucky enough to stumble upon the reserves that will be hidden throughout the arena. Third, please avoid shooting people in the face. Finally-and this is more a suggestion than a rule-you have plenty of time to prepare. Get creative in your approach. We know we will.
“Finally, we're giving you the opportunity to cut your entrance fee in half by staying after the game to help clean up. See me, Annie Edison, if you have any questions.
“We hope to see you on March 22nd.”
###
Jeff and Annie have been dating for seventy-six days.
He knows he's a total sap for knowing that, but he's been keeping track almost by accident.
Every morning when he wakes up to an impossibly cute text message from her or-even better-Annie in his bed, warm and naked and the only person in the world who makes bedhead look sexy, he feels intensely grateful.
But, in the midst of marveling at how he's the luckiest person in the whole goddamn world, insecurities creep up on him.
Like, what if she decides their age difference is too limiting someday? Or what if she realizes that he's a loser in a shitty job and he's pretty much reached the end of the line as far as his career goes?
What if he does or says something stupid or offensive that makes her leave forever?
They're haunting questions, but Jeff's doing a pretty good job of not dwelling on them. (A pretty good job for him, that is.)
So when his stomach starts gurgling with dread and his anxiety betrays him, Jeff just reminds himself that it's been x number of days and she's still with him, still loves him. Every day the number is higher and more comforting.
Today that number is seventy-six.
"How many more places are we going to look at?" Troy whines from the backseat of the Lexus, and Jeff is jarred back to reality. He tugs his gaze away from Annie-in the passenger seat rewriting her notes in different colored pens according to her special system-just in time to see the traffic light change to green.
"There are three left on the list," Annie answers without looking up.
"But I'm tired and hungry and the rain soaked through my shoes and socks so my feet are all pruned."
"What are you," Jeff says, "101 Dalmatians?"
"No," Troy crosses his arms and pouts out his lower lip. "But I don't want to look at any more apartments. They're all stupid and have too much space and I'm distracted so I can't properly picture what it'd be like to live in any of them. Why did we do this the day before paintball?"
Jeff pokes Annie in the arm as he obeys his GPS's command to merge onto the highway back toward the center of Greendale. "He has a good point. Why are we doing this when paintball is nigh?"
She rolls her eyes at them. "Because it's just a game and there's no reason to put our lives on hold for it." Troy gasps as though Annie's said something blasphemous. "And because most of the places in your price range are holding open houses today and tomorrow. We’re obviously not going tomorrow, so.”
“We shouldn’t be going today,” Troy says. “We have to strategize.”
“We’ll get back just in time for the group strategy meeting,” Annie assures. “These last three places are much closer to town."
"Abed still has no idea this is happening, right? He hasn’t asked you any leading questions? Snuck up on you in the shower for an ambush?"
"No," Annie taps her pink pen against her lips. "But if you keep acting all twitchy every time he asks you how you're doing, he might start."
Troy ignores her, nervously kicking the back of Jeff's seat. "You didn’t see him trailing us when we left this morning, did you? I tried to watch for his car, but most cars look the same. And they're all colors the ground can be: sand-colored, rock-colored, wet grass-colored." He ticks them off on his fingers.
"I've been very sneaky," Annie assures. "I've even been clearing my search history after I look up anything real-estate-related. But I still say you should talk to him. It'll be really obvious when you move out, and I think he'll be more hurt if you disappear without telling him than if you face this head-on."
"Dear, sweet Annie," Troy leans forward in his seat to place a hand on her shoulder. "Leave the handling of Abed to me." Jeff snorts and glances over in time to catch Annie pointedly cocking an eyebrow at Troy. "That's not what I meant!" he says, flustered, and sits back again.
"Do whatever you want," Annie turns in her seat to look back at Troy, "but don't be surprised when I have my 'I Told You So' moment."
"Don't be surprised when Abed doesn't care enough to even react."
Annie shoots Jeff a worried look at the same time he rolls his eyes, exasperated, in her direction.
"I don't think-" Jeff starts.
Troy huffs and cuts him off. "Can we talk about something else?"
Thankfully, Annie saves Jeff from having to come up with anything. “I’m actually really excited to see the next place. The realtor handling the property is a real up-and-comer who only shows unique spaces. I think you’re going to like it.”
"I hope so because then we can go home," Troy grumps.
"Uh-huh," Jeff says, sharing a meaningful look with Annie. And then the conversation is effectively over.
Thankfully, they only have to endure another five minutes of Troy grumbling agitatedly in the backseat before Jeff pulls up to an industrial-grey brick building strategically covered with moss and vines. He parallel parks on the street and tugs the hood of his jacket up over his hair so it won't get wet in the constant drizzle.
The lobby of the building is expansive with a high ceiling and marble floors. Jeff watches Annie's own hood fall back as she strains her neck to look up at the ritzy chandelier.
"Whoa," Troy says, his voice echoing in all the empty space. "Are you sure I can afford this?"
"Rent is definitely on the higher end of the range you gave me, but we're looking at a studio apartment here, which is cheaper by design."
"I'm going to live like Eloise," Troy muses, staring wide-eyed at his own reflection in the polished floor.
"That's not a bad idea; we should get a nanny to keep an eye on you," Jeff quips.
"I'll have endless adventures anyway."
"Yes, that is essentially the plot of the Eloise franchise," Annie says. "C'mon, the apartment's on the fourth floor."
Even the elevator is excessive and every surface is shiny and reflective. Jeff stoops down to hug Annie from behind and whisper in her ear, "It's too bad we're not alone. I've always wanted the bragging rights that come with pulling off sex in an elevator."
She meets the reflection of his gaze and winks.
"I can hear you, you know."
"Sorry, Troy," they apologize in unison.
The fourth-floor hallway is covered in plush raspberry-colored carpet, and Jeff's feet sink deep into the material every time he takes a step. Annie leads them down the hall to apartment 408. The door is propped open, so they venture inside.
A tall, blonde woman in a fitted pantsuit nods at them and holds up a manicured finger to indicate she'll be with them soon before turning her attention back to a polished couple in their thirties.
“Damn,” Troy nods his head, wandering further into the room and turning around to take it all in. The wall across from the entrance is lined with three inviting windows-one with a padded window seat that overlooks the street-while the parallel-running wall is lined with burnished dark wood cubbies. The two other walls feature exposed brick, and the center of the room is open and cozy. Two sets of stairs cut into the wall of cubbies and lead up to two different platforms. The one closest to the door leads up to the bedroom, a wrought iron railing strategically placed to keep sleepers from accidentally wandering off the edge. A fireplace is built into the brick wall below the bedroom platform. The second raised area is a kitchen, equipped with a sleek, silver refrigerator and a dishwasher. “This room is fit for a Beastmaster.”
“I know you’re preserving Pierce’s legacy and all, but maybe let things like that die with him. Please. For the love of all that is holy.”
“I don’t know,” Annie shrugs, “I miss some of the more innocuous Pierce-isms.”
Jeff grins skeptically at her, and Troy rushes over to wrap his arms around her. “I’m sorry I was so grumpy earlier. This place is the best and I love it and I love you.”
She hugs him back. “Well, hang on. Let’s get the tour before we make any life-changing decisions.”
As if on cue, the couple leaves with mumbled ‘thanks’ and the real estate agent hones her attention in on Jeff. “Well hello there, sir. My name is Courtney Chase. What can I do for you?” Ms. Chase’s eyes sweep over his body and Jeff immediately checks to see if Annie's noticed.
She did.
“Jeff Winger,” he says. “And this is Troy Barnes. He’s actually the one interested in leasing the place.”
“Hmm.” Ms. Chase quirks an eyebrow at Jeff before turning her megawatt smile on Troy.
“This place is so cool. It’s totally the set for an indie movie with a lot of sex scenes and really introspective characters. And that wall can display my bobblehead collection!”
“It has a certain charm, yes." Ms. Chase tilts her head and sizes Troy up. "We’ll need to run a credit check and review your application before anything is finalized, of course, but would you like the grand tour?”
Troy agrees, and the realtor starts leading them around the space, pointing out selling points and making a lot of suggestive comments about the shower and the window seat and the bedroom while looking directly at Jeff. And, is it just him, or is she handling her pen in the most obscene way possible?
By the time they’ve made it to the kitchen-and Ms. Chase is wrapping up her spiel-Annie’s gripping his forearm so tightly (possessively?) that he’s certain her nails have left marks.
“So,” Ms. Chase grins slickly at Troy after she finishes telling him about the merits of the farmhouse sink, “Impressive, right?”
“I want it. Can I get it Annie? Can I, can I?"
"It's your money," Annie smiles fondly and pats Troy on the cheek. "Let's fill out an application."
Ms. Chase directs them to the kitchen table and Annie sits next to Troy to make sure he fills everything out correctly.
"So, Mr. Winger," Ms. Chase stands next to him at the head of the table and sucks on the tip of her pen, "are you sure I can't interest you in anything?"
He scoots a few inches away, and-damn if this woman isn't weirdly aggressive-Ms. Chase follows.
Is he being punked?
"I'm quite satisfied with my current…living arrangements," Jeff says, glancing over at Annie. She's either totally oblivious-too busy arguing with Troy about what his social security number is-or really good at listening discreetly.
Ms. Chase studies Annie with narrowed eyes. "I see. Well, in case you're ever looking for some new satisfaction, here's my card."
Jeff tries to refuse it by waving her off, but Ms. Chase slides the paper rectangle into the breast pocket of Jeff's raincoat. "Um, great," he manages.
After Annie and Troy finish up, Ms. Chase leads the trio to the door and wishes them well, going so far as to wink at Jeff as they walk into the hallway.
"That was weird," Jeff says as soon as they're in the elevator.
"What was?" Annie asks, smiling up at him and hooking her finger in a belt loop on Jeff's pants to pull him toward her.
"Ms. Chase," he prompts. Annie raises her eyebrows, confused. "Coming on to me."
"Oh," she shrugs. "I don't know. You are a very attractive man."
Jeff gapes as the elevator opens in the lobby. He lets Annie drag him across the marble floor to the front entrance. The drizzling has stopped, but the rain clouds are pervasive and the world is trapped in a gloomy grey. "You weren't bothered at all?" he asks.
Annie laughs and says, "No," matter-of-factly.
He should feel relieved, right? But Jeff's stomach bottoms out and he gnaws at the corner of his lip.
Huh.
###
For some reason, Jeff can't drop the fact that Ms. Chase was flirting with him and brings it up again as they drive back to the apartment.
"But it was so forceful. I mean, come on, what was that pen thing about?"
"Dude, this is a weird fixation. Even for you," Troy says.
"So you're saying it didn't seem absurd or intense? Neither of you thought something was off?"
"She was definitely coming on strong," Annie allows. "But who cares, right? You'll most likely never see her again."
"Oh, I know a leading question when I hear one. You think I was interested, don't you?"
Annie feels her eyebrows come together with concern and rubs Jeff's thigh. "Are you feeling okay, honey?"
Jeff growls instead of answering.
"You know you can talk to me about what's going on in that head of yours." She scratches her nails through the soft hair at the back of Jeff's neck affectionately.
He sighs and leans back into the touch. "Never mind. We should forget about it, right?"
Annie nods. "Definitely."
They get back to the apartment an hour before the strategy meeting is supposed to start, but Britta, Chang, and the dean are already there, poring over blueprints of Pierce's mansion with Abed.
"Hey," Abed greets. "Where have you guys been?"
"Certainly not looking at apartments, that's for sure," Troy says, too loud.
"Smooth," Jeff snarks.
Annie shoots them both a look. "I had, um, a dentist's appointment," she improvises. "I asked Troy and Jeff to come along for moral support. We didn't ask you to come because I know the smell of fluoride makes you sick."
Abed doesn't look entirely convinced, but he shrugs. "Cool. Cool cool cool."
"How often do you go to the dentist?" Dean Pelton asks. "I've always thought you have very nice teeth, and often wonder about the maintenance."
"Aww," Annie smiles brightly, flattered. "I know it's a pain, but flossing every day really does help."
"No way," Chang says. "I exclusively use mouthwash, and my teeth are perfectly healthy."
He smiles in Britta’s face and she pushes him away. "Your breath smells like that time Susie B. crawled under my couch to die but I didn't find her body for three days."
"One day there will be no toothpaste," he insists ominously. "Only mouthwash."
"Okay then. I'm going to call Shirley and Duncan and let them know to come over early. Jeff, could you order pizza for everyone?" Annie asks.
"Sure thing, Chandler Bing."
Annie laughs as she dials Shirley's cell.
Britta flashes her a thumbs-up and says, "I'll call Duncan." Annie waggles her eyebrows, and Britta sticks out her tongue.
"Hello," Shirley sing-songs when she answers the phone.
"Hey. Most everyone came over early, so if you're not already on your way over, might as well come now."
"Is that right?"
Annie narrowly avoids snorting at the obvious passive-aggression in Shirley's voice. "It just kind of happened," she says. "See you soon?"
"Uh-huh," Shirley clucks.
Twenty minutes later, when the pizza, Shirley, and Duncan have arrived, Abed takes command of the group.
"Okay people. In seventeen hours we will be in the heat of battle, facing trials of wit and physical endurance."
"Huzzah!" Troy interjects.
"Since Troy lived there for a while, I figured he can take us through the all the secret passageways and rooms in Hawthorne Manor that we can use to our advantage."
Troy salutes Abed, businesslike, and then draws everyone's attention to the blueprints. He talks for nearly forty minutes, outlining the purpose of each room and offering random facts he had to remember for Pierce's roommate test.
And then Britta gets a slice of pizza and everything goes to hell.
"Ew, fuck, get it off, get it off," she screeches, spitting into a napkin and scraping at her tongue.
"What's wrong?" Shirley asks.
"There was a pepperoni under the cheese, waiting to ambush me. Ugh, shit, this is nasty. Annie, can I use your toothbrush? I have to get this taste out of my mouth."
"Gross." Annie wrinkles her nose. "You barely even chewed it. Just suck on a mint or something."
"There's gum in the pocket of my coat," Jeff says.
"I can't believe you'd insult pepperoni like that," Troy shakes his head.
'Whoa," Britta comes back to the table holding Ms. Chase's calling card, gum forgotten. "Whatcha got here, Winger?"
Troy shoots Annie a panicked look.
"Uh…"
"Are you and Annie looking for a place together?" she guesses.
Shirley gasps and Abed's eyes get wide.
"What?" Annie squawks, "No! No. We were, you know, at the dentist's office. And, uh, this realtor lady was hitting on Jeff and gave him her card."
"And you're just okay with that?" Britta asks, getting that gleam in her eyes that means she thinks she's found another person to therapize.
"Yeah," Jeff turns to Annie. "You're just okay with that?"
"I thought we were going to forget about this," Annie says pointedly.
"I mean, since the subject came up naturally, why not discuss it some more?"
"Because there's nothing to discuss."
"You think I enjoyed it, don't you? That I led her on, invited her advances."
Annie looks around the table. Everyone is watching them intently. "This really isn't the place to be having this conversation," she points out.
Duncan, who retrieved the piece of pizza Britta bit into, says, "You're not bothering us. Please, carry on with your domestic row."
"Why are you, Annie, she who ran through a glass door after not winning a silly high-school award, being so calm about this?"
She gasps and recoils, hurt. "Is that was this is about?" Her voice rises. "You need me to feel jealous so I can validate you?"
"Yes!" Jeff shouts back at her, his voice cracking a little.
And just like that, the anger is gone. Annie deflates. "Oh."
Jeff's right leg starts bouncing and he won't look her-or anyone-in the eye.
"Excuse us," Annie says, grabbing Jeff's hand and tugging him into her bedroom.
"Come on," she hears Chang say. "Let's listen at the door."
Annie rolls her eyes and sits down on the bed next to Jeff. "So."
"So," he repeats, his entire body angled away from her.
Annie gently grabs his chin and encourages him to look at her. "I love you," she says fiercely.
Jeff gulps and finally looks her in the eye. "I love you, too."
"Okay, good. Do you want me to explain why I wasn't jealous?"
Jeff nods and purses his lips. "And maybe cut back on the condescending tone."
She huffs a laugh. "Jeff, you were so clearly not interested in her. I wasn't jealous because you didn't give me a reason to be jealous."
He considers this. "Huh. Go me." He's quiet for a bit longer, and when he talks again his voice is low. "But shouldn't you have been, I don't know, even a little miffed at her?"
Annie smiles softly and cups Jeff's cheek with her hand. He covers it with his own. "I was. But Troy definitely wasn't going to get that apartment if I had started fighting the agent in charge of showing it. So I sent her some nonverbal signals."
Jeff grins. "So if she hadn't been showing an apartment that Troy wants, you would have fought her?"
"Oh yeah. There would have been a total smackdown."
"What are we talking here, pillow fight? Tub of Jell-O?"
"Gross, Jeff." Annie smacks his chest. He catches her hand and kisses the pad of each finger. "We're good?" she checks.
"We're good," he confirms.
"Uh, guys?" Britta bursts into the room. "You didn't whisper quietly enough."
Annie's about to question what the hell Britta means by that when she hears Abed ask in a loud, clipped tone. "Are you or are you not planning to move out?"
"Come on, Ab-"
"Are you," Abed's voice is colder and even flatter than usual, "or are you not planning to move out?"
Troy sighs and rubs at the back of his neck. "I am."
Without another word, Abed turns on his heel, walks into his bedroom, and slams the door behind him. Troy stands in the center of the room, tears welling and shoulders slumped.
"How 'bout that!" Duncan looks at the watch on his wrist. "It's time for Craig, Ben, and me to go."
Britta nods thankfully and Annie rushes to Troy's side and starts rubbing his back.
"We're a part of the group," the dean complains as Duncan tugs him out the door.
"Yeah, why can't we stay and see how it ends?" Chang whines.
"See you tomorrow morning," Duncan waves as the door closes.
"You're not going to actually say it, right?" Troy looks weepily at Annie.
"Say what?"
"I told you so."
"Oh, Troy," she pulls him into a hug. "Of course not."
"Abed," Britta knocks at his door. "Come out so we can talk, buddy."
"No. Tell that traitor he ruined paintball and our friendship. Forever."
"Surely you don't mean that," Shirley says. "Forgiveness is divine, Abed."
"Well, despite popular opinion, I'm not a god," he responds through the door.
"Popular opinion?" Shirley questions indignantly.
At the same time Troy shouts, "Yeah, exactly! You can't just control people's lives like you own them."
Abed bursts back out into the common room. Annie can see the hurt and anger in his eyes and the in the way his mouth is twisted in a tiny grimace. Her stomach jumps in response. "You want to talk about control? Good, let's talk about control. Every time you leave, I lose mine."
Troy rolls his eyes and a big, wet tear rolls down his cheek. "Right, you're such a loose cannon."
"When you sacrificed your life to the AC Repair school to save the dean I was almost dominated by Evil!Abed. I almost killed Jeff with a bone saw."
"Okay, I have no recollection of this and it makes me really uncomfortable when you say that," Jeff interjects. Annie elbows him in the stomach.
"But you came back. I thought that darkness was behind me. Except then you decided to leave me again, this time to travel around the entire world. Do you remember what Jeff said? He could have found a loophole in Pierce's will. You could have let him read it. You could have still gotten rich without having to go. But instead you chose to leave. And I went to another dark place." He gets more heated with every sentence, his voice measured and intense. "And now I find out that you’re planning to leave me again. You know me better than anyone else-you’re my best friend-and you’re always leaving. Do you know how despicable that makes me feel?"
Abed’s eyes go wide and he falls into a chair at the kitchen table, covering his face with his hands.
A stunned silence pervades the room.
Troy is the first to recover, moving to sit next to Abed at the table. “I only left because I love you so much.”
Annie whips her head around to look at Jeff, who seems as surprised as she feels. Shirley gasps audibly, and Britta smiles, tears pooling in her eyes.
“I know when Pierce said my life was consumed by another man he didn’t mean Clive Owen. I know he was talking about you. And I guess I was afraid that he was right. Like, what if I didn’t have an identity outside of being one half of Trobed? While I was away, though, I was so miserable. I felt like that bird Paulie from the movie Paulie.”
“The cinematography in that movie is excellent,” Abed says, the sound muffled by his hands.
"It is,” Troy agrees. He reaches out tentatively to place a hand on Abed’s shoulder. “The whole time I was gone, I just wanted to return to you. Or have you come join me to experience all the cool things I got to. And that’s when I realized so what? So what if my identity is one-half Abed. People are always going on about finding the one person they want to spend their life having adventures with, and I already did. But I left him, so I’m sorry about that. You’re my best friend, too, and when I came back it seemed like you didn’t need me anymore. So I kinda freaked out.”
Abed finally pulls his hands away from his face, and Annie feels a lump form in her throat. She’s never seen him cry before, but his cheeks are wet and his eyes are rimmed red.
“I forgive you,” he says after a moment. “For leaving. And I’m sorry for making you feel unwelcome. There’s always room in my cast for you.”
“Thanks. I love you, Abed.”
Abed nods. “I love you, Troy. Can we be best friends again?”
Troy holds his hands out in position for their handshake. Abed grins and then slaps his chest as well as Troy’s outstretched hand.
“You guys,” Britta sniffles. “I am so good at making you open up.”
“Actually,” Jeff starts to correct her, but Annie gives him a look and mouths just let her have this. He rolls his eyes and then holds his arms out. “Bring it in, everybody.”
They all huddle together for a group hug.