Incoherent anger
I'm angry. I'm not sure why, but it's a slow fire, burning inside of me.
Why do other people get to have such personally fulfilling times at conventions? My major con experiences? Work, or a broken-down car, or letting friends down, or losing a love interest that you worked hard to please. Sure, you might say I should take a con off to actually enjoy myself, but that's not wise. At least working conventions prevents me from having all the other crap dumped in my heart.
I know what I want. I'm not attractive or strong enough to get it.
While we're on the subject of not being strong enough, I hate feeling stuck in life. I have shit I want to do! But I can't do it. And I can't get into it without naming names, so this entry gets cut short.
Why do other people get to have such personally fulfilling times at conventions? My major con experiences? Work, or a broken-down car, or letting friends down, or losing a love interest that you worked hard to please. Sure, you might say I should take a con off to actually enjoy myself, but that's not wise. At least working conventions prevents me from having all the other crap dumped in my heart.
I know what I want. I'm not attractive or strong enough to get it.
While we're on the subject of not being strong enough, I hate feeling stuck in life. I have shit I want to do! But I can't do it. And I can't get into it without naming names, so this entry gets cut short.