(no subject)
How do you prepare to leave your life and the people you love and gamble on a chance that the dream you had was legit? I think I finally understand how Dad felt when he got the dream about saving Harry. He couldn't come to us because how would we possibly believe him? You have to experience the dream yourself, and you have to have faith that it is real. I wanted to think it was just a dream, but there was too much that told me otherwise.
Once I made the choice that I was doing this, I had to decide on a date, and I guess it was a little twisted to decide on Harry's birthday, but really why not? It was a gift I was giving him, right? I was going to risk my life, my relationship with Cordy and my parents, just so I could snatch him away from the law firm to try and save him along with the rest of us. Best birthday gift ever if you ask me. Well maybe the best birthday gift after a tiger.
I knew that I needed to leave some kind of explanation for what I was doing so I decided to write letters. Hopefully when my parents, Cordy, Faith, Nicole, Kennedy, and the kids received them they would understand that there was no other choice. We've been backed up, balls to the walls, for so long now that to not take a chance would be suicide. We're at a place in the fight with the Senior Partners that we can't afford not to take chances. Any chance will do, and this one is pretty huge.
I thought about spending more time with Cordy before I left, but I knew if I did then I would potentially back out of going. Instead, I kept to myself, took some time to patrol, and worked on writing the letters. Once they were finished, I packed away the weapons we'd need, and grabbed the coordinates for the portal. I'd have to grab Harry from the law firm, but I had a plan for that. I'd just use Dad as bait.
Dear Mom and Dad,
I know you're going to be upset when you see this, but you have to trust that I am going to come back to you. I had a dream from the powers. In it, they explained what I needed to do to save Harry, the kids, Faith, and the rest of us. You're the ones who taught me that I had to do whatever it takes to protect my family. In the dream I was reminded that I have learned things in all three of my lives. I'm your son as much as I am their son, and that is why I was chosen to do this. I'll come back to you, and I'll bring Harry back too. You can trust me to protect us both. I need you to protect each other and everyone else. Things are going to get worse before they get better, and we can't afford to lose anyone else. Just...I know you two have issues with each other, and I've tried to stay out it. But I need you to watch each others backs because if I come back and one of you aren't here to greet me? I don't know how to deal with that. I need you both to be here and you can kick my ass later for telling you this via a letter. I love you both so much, and I keep thinking about all the time that has been lost with us. I'll do better about not taking for granted there is always time. But I have to go now. I am the best of the both of you, and you are my world. You always will be.
Love,
Connor
Dear Faith, Grace, Nicole, Spike, Buffy, Kennedy, Tyler, and Alexia,
Sometimes destiny steps up and asks us to make tough choices. It did that when Dad got his dream to save Harry by turning him. He made a split second choice and it changed all of our lives. I'll be the first to say that I wasn't okay with it at first. I thought it was bullshit, but I get it now. I get that he really did get that dream, and he was supposed to step in and change Harry's destiny. Now I've been asked to do the same. To change all our destiny's by taking Harry with me to another dimension to get the things we need to win this war. We've all suffered so much loss lately. We're not the same as we were back on the island or before it. I know that you guys have issues with each other, but you're family. You're my family and you're Harry's family, and while we're gone we need you to protect each other. You have to be on each other's side or they win. It's as simple as that. If you can't watch out for each other, then who will be there to do it? You may not agree with me taking Harry, but you'll have to accept that I gave this careful thought and consideration. He's being kept prisoner and I have a chance to use him as a key to help all of us. I'll take care of him, and I expect you guys to take care of each other. I love you. All of you. We're family above all else, and that is something that the partners can't take from us. If we stop fighting each other and fight together we are stronger than they are. I'll see you when I'm back.
Love,
Connor
Dear Cordy,
This is the hardest letter I've ever had to write. How can I put into words what you mean to me? God, I want to come to you and beg you to come with me. To ask you to take my hand and jump with me into the unknown having the same faith that it will take us to where we need to go and bring us back again. I can't though. I know that means I'm too much like my dad. I'm making choices for everyone, including you, without giving anyone else a vote. I had a dream from the powers, and I have to go away for awhile. I'm taking Harry with me so that we can do what we need to in order to win this war. Because that is what it's become, Cordy. We're fighting a war, and we're losing so bad. They already have us turning on each other, and it's not going to stop. The kids ran off. Faith and Grace are at each other's throats. I dragged Kennedy down with me. Harry is so far gone that he's eventually going to believe he belongs in that penthouse. I have to take this chance to try and give us a fighting chance. I'd take you with me if I knew I could keep you safe, but I don't know what I'm walking into. All I know is that I'm supposed to take one of Lexi's parents with me because their blood combined with mine will open the doorway to the other dimension. I figure that means it's Harry because he's the one who needs a rescue right now. I found my way back from Quor'toth, Cordelia, I'll find my way back home to you. I have never loved anyone as much as I love you. You are my Goddess and my sanctuary in a world that rarely makes sense. Please, please understand that I never wanted to walk out this way, but it's not goodbye. I could never say goodbye to you. I'll be back before you know it. I love you.
Love,
Connor
Once I was ready to go, I left all the letters on Dad's office desk, wrapped with a red ribbon. I figured he would be the one to find them and distribute them. Hopefully he would understand why I handled it this way. I drove out to Wolfram and Hart and growled when I saw Faith's car pull in right after me. What the fuck? Was she now the psychic slayer or something? I wasn't letting her stop me. This had to be done. Getting out of my car, I caught her by the wrist, turning her around to face me.
"You need to go back home, Faith," I told her, making note of the look in her eyes. Was she drugged out? Fuck. At least I had the taser and dart gun I planned to use on Harry since I knew he was on performance enhancers. If I had to knock Faith out to grab Harry so be it.
[Open to Faith]
Once I made the choice that I was doing this, I had to decide on a date, and I guess it was a little twisted to decide on Harry's birthday, but really why not? It was a gift I was giving him, right? I was going to risk my life, my relationship with Cordy and my parents, just so I could snatch him away from the law firm to try and save him along with the rest of us. Best birthday gift ever if you ask me. Well maybe the best birthday gift after a tiger.
I knew that I needed to leave some kind of explanation for what I was doing so I decided to write letters. Hopefully when my parents, Cordy, Faith, Nicole, Kennedy, and the kids received them they would understand that there was no other choice. We've been backed up, balls to the walls, for so long now that to not take a chance would be suicide. We're at a place in the fight with the Senior Partners that we can't afford not to take chances. Any chance will do, and this one is pretty huge.
I thought about spending more time with Cordy before I left, but I knew if I did then I would potentially back out of going. Instead, I kept to myself, took some time to patrol, and worked on writing the letters. Once they were finished, I packed away the weapons we'd need, and grabbed the coordinates for the portal. I'd have to grab Harry from the law firm, but I had a plan for that. I'd just use Dad as bait.
Dear Mom and Dad,
I know you're going to be upset when you see this, but you have to trust that I am going to come back to you. I had a dream from the powers. In it, they explained what I needed to do to save Harry, the kids, Faith, and the rest of us. You're the ones who taught me that I had to do whatever it takes to protect my family. In the dream I was reminded that I have learned things in all three of my lives. I'm your son as much as I am their son, and that is why I was chosen to do this. I'll come back to you, and I'll bring Harry back too. You can trust me to protect us both. I need you to protect each other and everyone else. Things are going to get worse before they get better, and we can't afford to lose anyone else. Just...I know you two have issues with each other, and I've tried to stay out it. But I need you to watch each others backs because if I come back and one of you aren't here to greet me? I don't know how to deal with that. I need you both to be here and you can kick my ass later for telling you this via a letter. I love you both so much, and I keep thinking about all the time that has been lost with us. I'll do better about not taking for granted there is always time. But I have to go now. I am the best of the both of you, and you are my world. You always will be.
Love,
Connor
Dear Faith, Grace, Nicole, Spike, Buffy, Kennedy, Tyler, and Alexia,
Sometimes destiny steps up and asks us to make tough choices. It did that when Dad got his dream to save Harry by turning him. He made a split second choice and it changed all of our lives. I'll be the first to say that I wasn't okay with it at first. I thought it was bullshit, but I get it now. I get that he really did get that dream, and he was supposed to step in and change Harry's destiny. Now I've been asked to do the same. To change all our destiny's by taking Harry with me to another dimension to get the things we need to win this war. We've all suffered so much loss lately. We're not the same as we were back on the island or before it. I know that you guys have issues with each other, but you're family. You're my family and you're Harry's family, and while we're gone we need you to protect each other. You have to be on each other's side or they win. It's as simple as that. If you can't watch out for each other, then who will be there to do it? You may not agree with me taking Harry, but you'll have to accept that I gave this careful thought and consideration. He's being kept prisoner and I have a chance to use him as a key to help all of us. I'll take care of him, and I expect you guys to take care of each other. I love you. All of you. We're family above all else, and that is something that the partners can't take from us. If we stop fighting each other and fight together we are stronger than they are. I'll see you when I'm back.
Love,
Connor
Dear Cordy,
This is the hardest letter I've ever had to write. How can I put into words what you mean to me? God, I want to come to you and beg you to come with me. To ask you to take my hand and jump with me into the unknown having the same faith that it will take us to where we need to go and bring us back again. I can't though. I know that means I'm too much like my dad. I'm making choices for everyone, including you, without giving anyone else a vote. I had a dream from the powers, and I have to go away for awhile. I'm taking Harry with me so that we can do what we need to in order to win this war. Because that is what it's become, Cordy. We're fighting a war, and we're losing so bad. They already have us turning on each other, and it's not going to stop. The kids ran off. Faith and Grace are at each other's throats. I dragged Kennedy down with me. Harry is so far gone that he's eventually going to believe he belongs in that penthouse. I have to take this chance to try and give us a fighting chance. I'd take you with me if I knew I could keep you safe, but I don't know what I'm walking into. All I know is that I'm supposed to take one of Lexi's parents with me because their blood combined with mine will open the doorway to the other dimension. I figure that means it's Harry because he's the one who needs a rescue right now. I found my way back from Quor'toth, Cordelia, I'll find my way back home to you. I have never loved anyone as much as I love you. You are my Goddess and my sanctuary in a world that rarely makes sense. Please, please understand that I never wanted to walk out this way, but it's not goodbye. I could never say goodbye to you. I'll be back before you know it. I love you.
Love,
Connor
Once I was ready to go, I left all the letters on Dad's office desk, wrapped with a red ribbon. I figured he would be the one to find them and distribute them. Hopefully he would understand why I handled it this way. I drove out to Wolfram and Hart and growled when I saw Faith's car pull in right after me. What the fuck? Was she now the psychic slayer or something? I wasn't letting her stop me. This had to be done. Getting out of my car, I caught her by the wrist, turning her around to face me.
"You need to go back home, Faith," I told her, making note of the look in her eyes. Was she drugged out? Fuck. At least I had the taser and dart gun I planned to use on Harry since I knew he was on performance enhancers. If I had to knock Faith out to grab Harry so be it.
[Open to Faith]