(no subject)
If I ever found myself needing to write a nonfiction story, it would have to be about a couple of friends of mine.
They dated for years before finally getting married, to the fanfare of pretty much everyone. The relationship made sense; they had the emotional and financial security necessary for a good life, and they were happier than they probably even needed to be to be together. Of course, since I’m the one talking about it this is obviously a setup to a tragedy.
The guy had a job that was going to keep him across the country for 6 months. This was difficult but they agreed relocating for a half year wasn’t logical so they’d just suffer through it. Well, those 6 months led to another 6 months, and another. If I remember correctly I think he ended up being away from home 2 years in a 3 year stretch.
In that time, he met someone. This wasn’t a fling or some supermodel that he was deviously hooking up with on the side, either. He met someone that really mattered to him. After a while, he found himself feeling guilty for their time together, despite it not even being of a sexual nature. He asked some of his friends for advice but he chose them poorly because one of them went to his wife about the situation.
Needless to say, they got divorced and he hooked up with the other girl. They are now married and have been for longer than he was married to his first wife. Not…longer if you count the time they dated, but still.
The part of this that really struck me though was that he never fell out of love with his first wife. It was never about that. He simply found someone he loved more and it pained him to do so. He never sought it out, and he never physically cheated which is apparently prop-worthy for a guy. Even more moving was that he and his first wife (who I actually knew first) are still friends. This is a testament to what they had together, and just how mature and powerful they were as people.
So that was probably TLDR for most, but I still felt it was worth typing. I just had dinner with the first wife in this scenario and we got to talking about how often they still saw each other now that he was back in town. She even goes to the spa with the new wife. When I asked if it was hard for her to see him, she said it’d be harder not to. She said it actually made it easier to see that he was happy and that this wasn’t anything she could have prevented or foreseen.
Maybe I’m just being emotional here but this stuff really chokes me up. Sometimes, life isn’t black or white and what some people would see as a terrible turn of events, others are capable of seeing the bigger picture and appreciating the strength of characters.
They dated for years before finally getting married, to the fanfare of pretty much everyone. The relationship made sense; they had the emotional and financial security necessary for a good life, and they were happier than they probably even needed to be to be together. Of course, since I’m the one talking about it this is obviously a setup to a tragedy.
The guy had a job that was going to keep him across the country for 6 months. This was difficult but they agreed relocating for a half year wasn’t logical so they’d just suffer through it. Well, those 6 months led to another 6 months, and another. If I remember correctly I think he ended up being away from home 2 years in a 3 year stretch.
In that time, he met someone. This wasn’t a fling or some supermodel that he was deviously hooking up with on the side, either. He met someone that really mattered to him. After a while, he found himself feeling guilty for their time together, despite it not even being of a sexual nature. He asked some of his friends for advice but he chose them poorly because one of them went to his wife about the situation.
Needless to say, they got divorced and he hooked up with the other girl. They are now married and have been for longer than he was married to his first wife. Not…longer if you count the time they dated, but still.
The part of this that really struck me though was that he never fell out of love with his first wife. It was never about that. He simply found someone he loved more and it pained him to do so. He never sought it out, and he never physically cheated which is apparently prop-worthy for a guy. Even more moving was that he and his first wife (who I actually knew first) are still friends. This is a testament to what they had together, and just how mature and powerful they were as people.
So that was probably TLDR for most, but I still felt it was worth typing. I just had dinner with the first wife in this scenario and we got to talking about how often they still saw each other now that he was back in town. She even goes to the spa with the new wife. When I asked if it was hard for her to see him, she said it’d be harder not to. She said it actually made it easier to see that he was happy and that this wasn’t anything she could have prevented or foreseen.
Maybe I’m just being emotional here but this stuff really chokes me up. Sometimes, life isn’t black or white and what some people would see as a terrible turn of events, others are capable of seeing the bigger picture and appreciating the strength of characters.