FIC: Out for the Season (Or, How Kissing Jim Kirk Made Hikaru Gay - For Someone Else) - Chapter 4
Chapter Four
The next couple of weeks pass in a haze. A happy haze. A haze of happy.
School is mostly spent sneaking glances at Pavel and trying not to be too obvious. Hikaru doesn’t need the entire school to know he’s mooning over Pavel. (Even if he’s caught Pavel shooting looks his way, too, leaving him pretty confident that he’s not mooning alone.)
What Hikaru isn’t confident about is the safety of sneaking Pavel into a broom closet or under the bleachers. He admits it, he’s a wimp. But since it’s probably self-preservation wimpiness, he can deal.
Instead he saves all the making out for home - and Jim’s house, occasionally. But mostly home.
In one of their rooms, with the door closed and his parents either downstairs or out.
Again, safety. He’s all for it.
He suspects he’s in a closet but is okay with it for the time being.
Plus, he doesn’t have a lot of time to angst about his position. See above re: making out.
They haven’t done much else and Hikaru’s good with that. Okay, his lips are pretty chapped, but he’s liking the pace. Not that he doesn’t want to do more (and doesn’t fantasize about it in his room after their sessions), but where they are right now is good.
He still wishes there were a better word than good.
Good seems too simple, too just okay; there aren’t enough fireworks or rainbows or whatever the hell people describe this as.
But since he doesn’t have the words, he’ll go with good.
He’s good with good.
“Good?”
“Mmm,” Pavel replies, lying sprawled out on his bed. They broke apart a few seconds ago (inspired by his mom’s call of, “Dinner in 10 boys!”).
Hikaru takes that as a “Yes.” He rolls to his side and props his head in his hand. “I like you like this.”
The corners of Pavel’s mouth hint at a smile. “Like what, Hikaru?”
“All relaxed.” He smiles back, buttons an undone button. “All debauched.”
“De…bauched…” Pavel’s thinking it out, Hikaru can tell. “Yes! Only because of you though, no one else.”
“Good.” Hikaru makes a show of trying to brush out wrinkles in Pavel’s shirt. “I like having you all to myself.”
Pavel leans over and kisses Hikaru’s cheek. It’s soft and sweet.
Downstairs at dinner he could be eating sawdust for all he knows.
His mom’s extended recounting of some drama with her sisters just washes over him.
All he thinks about is that kiss.
Kissing seems to be all Hikaru can think about anymore.
Okay, so he’s had that particular problem since puberty, but that was just some nameless, faceless idea. Now there’s a name and a face and, okay, maybe some thoughts that go beyond just kissing.
It’s Saturday, his parents are out on their monthly Costco run, and it feels like the perfect day for second base…
If only he knew what the hell that was for two guys.
Still, he’s got a plan.
Which naturally goes all to hell when he discovers that Pavel is ticklish. Really ticklish.
Hikaru makes this discovery when he pokes Pavel in the stomach because he’s too seriously reading from his Calculus textbook. Sure, Hikarucould to be reading too (they have a test on Monday) but he has a plan.
Which gets screwed all to hell because of one simple poke.
Poking Pavel provokes an instantaneous giggle and squirm.
He’s tries it again. Same reaction.
He’s hooked.
The plan is forgotten as he chases Pavel all around the house. Somehow, although Pavel is much faster than Hikaru, he always gets caught.
Hikaru’s addicted.
He finally pins a helpless Pavel to the family room couch and triumphantly kisses him. A helpless, flushed and squirmy Pavel.
That’s when Hikaru decides that tickling is kinda sexy too, and maybe scrapping the plan wasn’t a bad idea.
It’s possible he may be addicted to Pavel.
As he presses against Pavel and deepens the kiss, he fleetingly wonders if Pavel is addicted too.
He gets his answer a few days later when the unexpected happens.
It’s lunchtime, but instead of heading for the cafeteria, Pavel drags him into the nearby music room’s storage closet. One of the few windowless places in the school.
All it takes is the mere idea that they’ll be making out and Hikaru’s hard.
He takes over and pulls Pavel to him.
Things get hot and heavy fast and it soon becomes clear that making out isn’t going to do it for them anymore.
It doesn’t help Hikaru’s control that Pavel’s cheeks are bright pink or that he can hear Pavel’s breath quicken when he grinds against him.
Oh god. He’s too on the edge to keep this up, unless he wants to come in his pants.
The one remaining sane part of his brain forces him to pull back. Stop the madness. This is school, after all.
They break apart gasping.
After Hikaru has mentally listed as many of the chemical elements as he can remember, he feels calm enough to speak. “Okay, so, I think we should talk about, you know, sex.”
“Talk?” Pavel smiles. “Don’t you want to do it? The sex, I mean.”
“Hell yeah.” Hikaru doesn’t even have a second thought. And is impressed that Pavel doesn’t either. “But I don’t want to do it here.” He gestures at dusty music stands and instruments.
“Agreed.” Pavel nods seriously, like they’re discussing a science project or something. “I also would not like it here.”
“Also this is my… er, well, I thought this might be your first time. Is it?” Because he’s a coward, he avoids eye contact.
“Yes, no sex before.” Pavel manages to move into Hikaru’s line of vision and make eye contact. “And for you too, yes?”
He nods.
“Good. We both want sex. It is both our first time.” Pavel bites his lip, something he does when he’s formulating a plan. “Okay, it’s simple. We have the sex in your bed very soon.”
Even though it sounds like Pavel is suggesting the approach they will take to solve a complex Calculus problem, Hikaru is still turned on. Probably the combination of “sex” and “bed.”
“I like it.” He presses against Pavel and kisses his neck.
Pavel smiles. “It’s a plan.”
Their plan is foiled by none other than Thanksgiving.
Never has Hikaru been less thankful.
His sister’s back, which means he’s on the couch in the family room. (How come he’s the one who has to give up his room? Because his mother said so, that’s why.)
Not only does he not have his bed, but with Mariko home it’s like there’s no breathing space, forget private space, in the house.
Also not helping is the endless stream of aunts, uncles and cousins. Never has Hikaru been less happy to see any of them. Despite all the good food they’re bringing.
His annoyance is starting to turn to murderous hatred towards the family, when the savior appears.
Or, well, calls Hikaru on the phone.
(Of course, Hikaru doesn’t let on about quite how miraculous Jim’s timing is. Can’t let Jim, no matter how helpful he is, get an even bigger ego. It’s a service Hikaru does for the world, really.)
Still, ego or no, when they bowed their heads to give thanks before the big meal this year, Jim totally should have been at the top of Hikaru’s list.
Well, maybe second, after Pavel.
He gives thanks again when it’s just he and Pavel in the car. It’s blessedly quiet.
They don’t talk on the way there.
Not because they’re awkward, ’cause things are pretty comfortable right now, but because they’re both happy to not be answering endless questions posed by well-meaning but annoyingly curious relatives.
Thank god for the “test” Jim reminded him they had to study for.
Come to think of it, it’s pretty incredible that Pavel went along with it. He hates to lie, although he seems to be doing more of it lately.
When they stop at a light, he turns and looks at Pavel. “Thanks for going along with the whole test thing. I know honesty’s more your thing.”
The light turns green but he catches Pavel smile before returning his eyes to the road. “I never had a reason to lie before.”
“Ahh.” Hikaru grins. “So sneaking out to be with your boyfriend is a good reason?”
He sneaks a glance at Pavel; he’s turned bright red, but his voice is steady. “Very good reason.”
They slip into their usual patterns at Jim’s, which is kinda nice.
He’s enjoying hearing McCoy’s annoyed tone from the other room because it means Pavel has started a debate. Hikaru had also forgotten how much he loves one-on-one time with Jim.
Even if the guy is kicking his ass.
“Fuck,” he says when he’s creamed by Jim. “Man, it is good to swear again. Fuck, my place is crazy right now.”
“Aw, come on.” Jim sits back with a triumphant smile. “All that family? Can’t be all bad.”
Jim says things like that with a light tone, but Hikaru catches something underneath.
He wants to say something. About how it sucks that Jim’s mom isn’t around. Ever. That he’s in this huge house all by himself.
Instead he says, “Suppose you’re right. But I’m still glad to be here with you.”
“Can’t stay away, can you? What can I say? I’m irresistible.”
He punches Jim lightly on the arm. “That you are, that you are.”
“Hey!” Pavel appears and hits Jim on his other arm, hard. But with a smile on his face.
“Ow!” Jim rubs his arm. “What the hell, kid?”
“You don’t hit on my boyfriend.” He’s clearly enjoying razzing Jim about something for a change, but Hikaru suspects there’s a hint of seriousness there too.
Jim catches it as well.
“Aw, he’s a possessive one.” Jim dodges Pavel’s arm and pulls him into a hug. “Guess he’s good enough for you, Hikaru.”
Pavel laughs and squirms away. He surprises Hikaru by coming over and sitting down on his lap.
“Is this your way of saying video game time is over?” Hikaru asks.
Pavel shrugs, looking simultaneously innocent and evil.
McCoy has joined them, too, which really does mean the end of the gaming. Jim turns the TV off, which sucks because Hikaru really doesn’t want to move right now. He likes the weight of Pavel on him.
And how close the back of Pavel’s neck is to him. He can see these pale hairs against Pavel’s paler skin. He brushes them with a quick finger movement. Pavel shifts.
He moves just enough that Hikaru catches Jim and McCoy exchanging a look.
Which is confirmed when Jim stands up, stretches. “I’m just going to the kitchen with Bones here,” he stares pointedly at McCoy, “to see about a snack.”
McCoy gets up grumbling something Hikaru can’t make out and suspects he’s better off not hearing. Jim practically drags him from the room.
Pavel leans back fully against him. “That was nice of them.”
“Huh?” Hikaru’s focus is on the blond hairs he’s found on Pavel’s arm.
“To leave us alone. Your friends are very nice.”
“Oh yeah, friends, good.” He kisses the back of Pavel’s neck and wraps an arm around him. “I have you all to myself.”
Pavel laughs. “Oh yeah?” There’s a challenge in his tone. “What are you going to do about it?”
Surprising himself, Hikaru has Pavel flipped over lying on his back on the couch and is straddling him by the time Pavel’s finished his question.
“Oh,” is all Hikaru lets Pavel say for a long time.
He only stops when the sounds from the kitchen get loud, like Jim is banging two pots together (which he probably is).
Probably good, too, because Hikaru was so about to lose his cool.
He doesn’t sit up right away - he knows that was Jim’s 30 second warning. Sure he’s hot and his knee is starting to hurt stretched out at this weird angle, but he wants just a little longer to appreciate Pavel pressed against him.
Hear Pavel’s breath in his ear.
Feel the brush of lips against his cheek.
He’s using up every last second.
On the drive home, Hikaru’s mind catches up to something he’d missed earlier thanks to horniness. There’s nothing like the proximity of family to drive away thoughts of sex.
“You know,” he starts, “they’re not just my friends.”
Pavel pauses from rejecting everything on the radio. “Sorry, what?” Pavel’s hand slips from the easy rock station he’d stopped on and now there’s just static on the radio.
“Ack!” Hikaru hits a preset button and never has LMFAO been a more welcome sound. “Jim and McCoy, they’re your friends too.”
“Right.” Pavel nods but still looks confused. Which is really just him not looking like he’s ten steps ahead of everyone else.
“Earlier you called them my friends.” They’ve arrived home but neither of them makes a move to get out of the car. “They’re yours too. Hell, I think McCoy likes you more than me. In fact, I know he does.”
Pavel nods, but doesn’t say anything. He’s just sitting there looking at his lap.
“Pavel.” He grabs Pavel’s hand and holds it. “What’s going on?”
“Really? They are my friends?”
He nods, which forces Pavel to meet his eyes. He looks a little sad. “Of course! When I was an asshole to you,” he checks the house but no one seems to have noticed they’re home, “McCoy was mad at me and Jim told me he missed you.”
“Oh!” A smile seems to envelope Pavel’s face. “That is good! I mean, not about that time, but being friends.” He looks down at his lap again. “I have not many friends back home.”
Hikaru’s not sure what feels worse: that without these circumstances he wouldn’t have even been friends with Pavel, or that Pavel is basically friendless back home.
He pulls Pavel into an awkward side hug.
“They don’t know what they’re missing.”
“Okay, what am I missing?”
It’s the next day and Mariko has managed to corner him alone in her own (old) room.
“Uh.” Hikaru stares at Flopsy, who’s still hanging out on the bookshelf. “Missing?”
Mariko - clearly following his eyeline - picks up Flopsy and then flops back on her Hello Kitty-less bed. “Fill me in. What’s new around here?” She folds back Flopsy’s ear and fails at carelessly casual. “What’s new with you?”
“Eh.” Hikaru shrugs, tries on some of the carelessly casual himself. “Not much. Pavel’s the only new thing.”
He sits down beside her and folds back Flopsy’s other ear.
“He’s okay,” Hikaru adds. He doesn’t feel like adding more.
Mariko rolls her eyes. “Seriously? Could you be any less verbose? I don’t care about Pavel, tell me about this hypothetical someone!”
“It’s like you don’t understand hypothetical.”
“Oh please, I know all about hypothetical.” She tosses Flopsy in the air and catches him. “At least tell me if things have moved beyond the hypothetical.”
Hikaru stares at Pavel’s suitcase, which is peeking out of the closet.
“Yeah. No longer hypothetical.”
Mariko sighs. It sounds like a sigh of relief. “So things are good.”
“Yeah.” Hikaru closes his eyes. He can see Pavel’s curls and his still dorky clothes. “Very good.”
Things get even better when Mariko and the others clear out. Even though Mariko wasn’t as annoying as usual, Hikaru’s still glad to see her off to school.
Of course, by the time the hoard of relatives left, Pavel had charmed them all and they included him in their goodbye hugs and kisses.
It was awesome to see him bending down to hug Hikaru’s tiny round grandmother.
But fuck all that, he’s so happy it’s just four of them in the house again. And most important of all, he has his room back.
This means the vague planless plan is back on.
It would help if he wasn’t so fucking terrified.
Fortunately, it turns out that Pavel is terrified, too.
It’s not hard to tell.
The next time they’re alone together (an exciting Saturday of errands for his parents), Pavel does everything he can to keep the mood unsexy. He talks about homework, suggests making a homework schedule, explains it’s imperative that they study for Physics right now. And when he’s not doing that, he’s pacing around the room and keeping an arm’s length away from Hikaru.
“Pavel!” he interrupts some new discussion of a special Physics study schedule. “It’s okay.” Pavel looks at him like he’s crazy, which may be possible. “I know we have a plan, but I’m not going to jump you right now.”
Pavel sits down on the bed, his face red.
Hikaru pulls Pavel into a hug.
After it becomes uncomfortable sitting there, he gently guides them both down so they’re lying on the bed side by side, his arm around Pavel.
They lie there like that till Hikaru’s arm falls asleep and he has to move it.
Then end up studying for Physics, after all, which seems to relax Pavel a lot.
So much so that, after an hour of focus, Hikaru shoves Pavel’s book away and kisses him. He keeps it sweet and chaste, lets Pavel set the pace.
They make out until his parents return home, then they go back to studying.
Not surprisingly, Jim provides the solution to their mutual - and, Hikaru feels, understandable - terror of sex.
Jim and Hikaru are driving around together, drinking milkshakes and shooting the shit, as per usual while Pavel’s working with Nyota.
The shit gets serious when Hikaru fails at their easy banter.
Jim pulls into a Target parking lot and turns to face Hikaru. “Okay, man, what’s up? Don’t be shy, you can tell Doctor Jim.”
“Just because your boyfriend’s going to be a doctor doesn’t remotely qualify you as one.”
Jim just raises an eyebrow.
“Fine.” Hikaru watches a mother chase her kid who’s running with the shopping cart. “It’s just we’re both ready for, well, you know… but it’s not so easy to just do it, you know?”
Jim smirks. “I’m not sure I do know.”
Hikaru sighs. “Sex, okay, Pavel and I, we want to have it. But now that it’s out there, we’re both dancing around the issue.”
“Ahhh,” Jim starts the car and heads out of the parking lot. “Don’t worry, Doctor Jim has the answer.”
They don’t say much after that but, oddly, Hikaru isn’t worrying. This is Jim’s area of expertise, after all. He waits while Jim goes into his house and returns a few minutes later with a book.
He slaps it into Hikaru’s hand. “Read it. Give it to Pavel to read.”
“Okay.” Hikaru stuffs the book deep into his bag. “Uh, thanks.”
“No problem. What’re friends for?” Jim smirks. “Soon you boys’ll be fucking like bunnies and it’ll be all thanks to me!”
Hikaru snorts.
“I give you The Joy of Gay Sex, and this is the thanks I get.” Jim affects a hurt tone. “See if I ever do anything for you again.”
“Right, you’re so hard done by. No one appreciates you. Definitely not your best friend.”
“This is what I’m saying!” Jim gestures wildly. “I give and I give and I give, and what? Nothing!”
“So sad.”
“True that, my horny friend.”
Hikaru pretends to hit his head against the dashboard. “Why are we friends again?”
“Because I’m awesome.”
“Right, that must be it. You’re awesome.”
“Truer words, man, truer words.”
The book is actually helpful. Basically it reminds him he knows what to do, he’s prepared. So now it’s just about the right time.
He gives the book to Pavel, who looks ecstatic to have study material.
At least this is one subject that will actually have real life application.
Hikaru’s looking forward to Pavel getting to the oral sex section.
He’s happy to spend as many hours as it’ll take to get that down.
Hikaru is just drifting off - in between asleep and awake -when he feels his bed dip.
“Are you awake, Hikaru?” Pavel whispers.
He totally is now. “Yeah.”
He can feel a warm Pavel press against his side and can’t resist turning over so they’re facing each other.
Pavel scoots closer and kisses Hikaru, softly.
They lie like that for a while, just kissing not touching. Until Pavel starts moving his hand up and down Hikaru’s side. It’s almost hypnotic. It’s nice.
Hikaru returns the gesture, then finds his hand sliding under Pavel’s pajama shirt and pressing into Pavel’s lower back, pulling him closer.
Soon Pavel slides a leg between Hikaru’s.
Hikaru yanks Pavel fully against him, so there’s no space between them.
Pavel moans and bites Hikaru’s lip.
Things speed up.
Hands become frantic and go everywhere.
Hikaru’s on top, then Pavel, then Hikaru again.
Now all he can think about is getting off and he knows Pavel’s thinking the same thing.
Hikaru grinds into Pavel. Pavel grinds back into Hikaru.
It’s not long before they’re gasping into each others’ ears and coming.
Hikaru wants to flop on his back, but he wants even more to pull Pavel close, which he does.
He’s drifting off to sleep when Pavel whispers in his ear. “It is best I return to my bed. Your mother.”
Hikaru groans as Pavel slides out of bed, but doesn’t say anything else. Pavel presses a brief kiss on Hikaru’s lips and is gone.
Hikaru’s bed has never felt so big.
They don’t talk about it the next day. The school routine is the same, no illicit make out sessions. Pavel seems pretty intent on his studies, and without thinking about it, Hikaru follows suit.
That night Hikaru lies in bed debating whether to sneak into Pavel’s room or not.
He’s just sliding a foot out of bed when there’s a creak in the hall. The leg is back under the covers without conscious thought.
When his door opens silently a minute later and his bed dips, he smiles.
He keeps smiling even when Pavel’s cold hands are on his back. By the time sharp kisses trail down his neck, Hikaru’s too far gone to know whether he’s smiling or not.
And when a hesitant hand starts to rub his dick through his pajamas, Hikaru’s not sure he remembers his own name.
Afterward, Hikaru’s still surprised that he had the guts to slide down and take Pavel’s dick in his mouth. It was as awkward and messy as he’d imagined.
Also, hotter.
What with Pavel flailing and wildly grabbing at Hikaru’s hair. And biting on his own arm to keep quiet.
It’s enough to make Hikaru come. Untouched.
That’s the most surprising part.
Hikaru finds he wants to do more than just “the sex” with Pavel.
He takes Pavel to some mindless movie, ones with lots of explosions and very ripped guys (it’s like Hollywood designed the movie just for them) and holds his hand the entire time.
Even when his hand falls asleep, he doesn’t stop.
Neither does Pavel.
Not that Hikaru isn’t interested in or enjoying the sex. Sometimes it’s all he can think about. Normally at the most inconvenient times, like during family dinner or Physics.
Pavel’s visits are now nightly.
They haven’t moved beyond oral and jerking each other off, but things are getting more intense. Once he came on Pavel’s stomach, which was the hottest thing ever.
The problem is: Hikaru knows he won’t be able to keep quiet if he actually gets to fuck Pavel.
So they’re stalled out.
Christmas break and The Return of Mariko loom ever larger and Hikaru is still planless.
Until, oddly enough, Mariko’s visit provides the solution.
“Maybe we should break up the trip, Yuji,” his mother says, her fork paused above her plate. “Seven hours is a long drive for one day.”
“Jane,” his dad sighs, setting his glass down. “It’s a fourteen hour round trip, there’s not enough time to take pleasure stops.”
The time argument seems dodgy in Hikaru’s book, considering his parents’ retired status.
“Pleasure stops? This is about safety. At your age you can’t drive that much. You’re not twenty-one anymore.”
Pavel is following the “discussion” like it’s a tennis match.
His dad sighs again. “If we want a day to visit the campus, we can’t take extra stops.”
Now that’s a winning argument. He knows the whole point of this repeat campus “visit” is to inspect Mariko’s living situation and ensure it meets their immaculate standards.
“Perhaps you’re right. And if we leave early we’ll arrive before dark.”
Hikaru assumes “early” is some ungodly hour he will inexplicably need to be awake at, too. Even though he’s staying home.
And he won’t be alone.
Suddenly he’s never been happier about his parents’ overparenting.
He knows the day is coming soon when he will hate it and it may ruin everything, but for now he’s going with happy.
Hikaru’s a teenager - he’s not supposed to be thinking about the future.
“Do you think you boys will be alright?”
“Huh?” Hikaru had lost the thread of the dinner conversation.
“Alright while your dad and I are gone?”
“Oh, right, yes!” Hikaru carefully doesn’t look at Pavel.
Pavel nods. “Absolutely!”
Apparently Pavel’s presence has lulled his parents into a false sense of security because they have no qualms leaving the two of them alone.
Naturally his mom fills the freezer with enough food to feed ten of them for a month. And that’s not counting the food that’s in the fridge or the money she left for pizza. (“A treat for you boys.”) But that’s clearly out of concern for their eating habits, nothing else.
Hikaru is worried he may be tipping his hand by helpfully carrying their bags to the car.
He’s one step down from literally shoving them out of the door.
But their sheer ecstasy at seeing Mariko blinds them to any of Hikaru’s ulterior motives.
And, boy, does he have some ulterior motives.
“Boy” being the operative word.
Being alone together proves to be good in theory but awkward in practice.
They spend the first hour drinking soda and watching the TV from opposite sides of the couch. There’s something on about auctions and a storage locker full of women’s shoes, Hikaru’s not really following.
He keeps sneaking looks at Pavel but never catches his eye.
This goes on until out of desperation he asks himself, WWJD? What would Jim do? And, bam, he knows the answer.
It still takes him a minute to move closer and put an arm around Pavel, but he’s confident about his move. Especially when he employs the patented Jim Kirk technique of lightly stroking Pavel’s arm. It works like charm; he actually feels Pavel relaxing.
Pretty soon one thing leads to another and they’re making out on the couch like, well, the teenagers that they are.
Pretty soon after that, Hikaru has his hand under Pavel’s shirt and is pinching his nipple while Pavel’s hands squeeze Hikaru’s ass.
Pretty soon the couch isn’t big enough and Hikaru finds himself dragging Pavel upstairs.
Pretty soon isn’t good enough, Hikaru wants now.
Now in his bedroom, Hikaru slows down, takes a breath.
Lying beneath him, Pavel is doing the same.
Hikaru has a second to wonder if he should light a candle, turn on some music, something appropriate, when Pavel pulls him down into a fierce kiss.
His brain loses track of its train, let alone its thoughts.
He finds himself lost in Pavel. His skin, exploring it.
He can’t get enough of the skin over Pavel’s collarbone.
It’s hard not to be distracted by Pavel’s hands, how they feel touching Hikaru.
Pavel traces a finger lightly down Hikaru’s back and he shivers.
He finds himself yanking off clothes - his, Pavel’s, whatever he can reach. He only realizes Pavel is helping when he feels his pants and underwear being shoved down his legs.
He kicks them off and realizes he’s naked.
He stops.
Pavel stops.
They stare at each other. Breathe.
Pavel’s pupils are huge, his cheeks red.
The flush in those cheeks gets Hikaru going again. He reaches into his drawer so the condom and lube will be close at hand.
Something about safe sex supplies makes things very real. “Pavel, are you, you know, sure? I don’t want to rush you, or anything. Make you feel -”
Pavel places a hand on Hikaru’s chest. “Stop, Hikaru. I want this.” There’s a shake to his voice, but no doubt of his sincerity. “Fuck me, please, Hikaru. Now.”
And that’s all Hikaru needs to hear.
There may have been some awkwardness with the lube.
It’s also possible it took some time to find a good position.
And that things didn’t last very long.
But Hikaru doesn’t remember any of that.
He remembers how tight Pavel felt.
How he felt he could hardly move.
That, at some point, Pavel seemed to let go and just feel.
That Hikaru did, too.
It’s probably true that their first time wasn’t porn worthy, but Hikaru doesn’t care.
Because it was awesome.
“We wait a few more minutes, then try again, yes?”
And they’re just getting started.
Concludes here.
The next couple of weeks pass in a haze. A happy haze. A haze of happy.
School is mostly spent sneaking glances at Pavel and trying not to be too obvious. Hikaru doesn’t need the entire school to know he’s mooning over Pavel. (Even if he’s caught Pavel shooting looks his way, too, leaving him pretty confident that he’s not mooning alone.)
What Hikaru isn’t confident about is the safety of sneaking Pavel into a broom closet or under the bleachers. He admits it, he’s a wimp. But since it’s probably self-preservation wimpiness, he can deal.
Instead he saves all the making out for home - and Jim’s house, occasionally. But mostly home.
In one of their rooms, with the door closed and his parents either downstairs or out.
Again, safety. He’s all for it.
He suspects he’s in a closet but is okay with it for the time being.
Plus, he doesn’t have a lot of time to angst about his position. See above re: making out.
They haven’t done much else and Hikaru’s good with that. Okay, his lips are pretty chapped, but he’s liking the pace. Not that he doesn’t want to do more (and doesn’t fantasize about it in his room after their sessions), but where they are right now is good.
He still wishes there were a better word than good.
Good seems too simple, too just okay; there aren’t enough fireworks or rainbows or whatever the hell people describe this as.
But since he doesn’t have the words, he’ll go with good.
He’s good with good.
“Good?”
“Mmm,” Pavel replies, lying sprawled out on his bed. They broke apart a few seconds ago (inspired by his mom’s call of, “Dinner in 10 boys!”).
Hikaru takes that as a “Yes.” He rolls to his side and props his head in his hand. “I like you like this.”
The corners of Pavel’s mouth hint at a smile. “Like what, Hikaru?”
“All relaxed.” He smiles back, buttons an undone button. “All debauched.”
“De…bauched…” Pavel’s thinking it out, Hikaru can tell. “Yes! Only because of you though, no one else.”
“Good.” Hikaru makes a show of trying to brush out wrinkles in Pavel’s shirt. “I like having you all to myself.”
Pavel leans over and kisses Hikaru’s cheek. It’s soft and sweet.
Downstairs at dinner he could be eating sawdust for all he knows.
His mom’s extended recounting of some drama with her sisters just washes over him.
All he thinks about is that kiss.
Kissing seems to be all Hikaru can think about anymore.
Okay, so he’s had that particular problem since puberty, but that was just some nameless, faceless idea. Now there’s a name and a face and, okay, maybe some thoughts that go beyond just kissing.
It’s Saturday, his parents are out on their monthly Costco run, and it feels like the perfect day for second base…
If only he knew what the hell that was for two guys.
Still, he’s got a plan.
Which naturally goes all to hell when he discovers that Pavel is ticklish. Really ticklish.
Hikaru makes this discovery when he pokes Pavel in the stomach because he’s too seriously reading from his Calculus textbook. Sure, Hikarucould to be reading too (they have a test on Monday) but he has a plan.
Which gets screwed all to hell because of one simple poke.
Poking Pavel provokes an instantaneous giggle and squirm.
He’s tries it again. Same reaction.
He’s hooked.
The plan is forgotten as he chases Pavel all around the house. Somehow, although Pavel is much faster than Hikaru, he always gets caught.
Hikaru’s addicted.
He finally pins a helpless Pavel to the family room couch and triumphantly kisses him. A helpless, flushed and squirmy Pavel.
That’s when Hikaru decides that tickling is kinda sexy too, and maybe scrapping the plan wasn’t a bad idea.
It’s possible he may be addicted to Pavel.
As he presses against Pavel and deepens the kiss, he fleetingly wonders if Pavel is addicted too.
He gets his answer a few days later when the unexpected happens.
It’s lunchtime, but instead of heading for the cafeteria, Pavel drags him into the nearby music room’s storage closet. One of the few windowless places in the school.
All it takes is the mere idea that they’ll be making out and Hikaru’s hard.
He takes over and pulls Pavel to him.
Things get hot and heavy fast and it soon becomes clear that making out isn’t going to do it for them anymore.
It doesn’t help Hikaru’s control that Pavel’s cheeks are bright pink or that he can hear Pavel’s breath quicken when he grinds against him.
Oh god. He’s too on the edge to keep this up, unless he wants to come in his pants.
The one remaining sane part of his brain forces him to pull back. Stop the madness. This is school, after all.
They break apart gasping.
After Hikaru has mentally listed as many of the chemical elements as he can remember, he feels calm enough to speak. “Okay, so, I think we should talk about, you know, sex.”
“Talk?” Pavel smiles. “Don’t you want to do it? The sex, I mean.”
“Hell yeah.” Hikaru doesn’t even have a second thought. And is impressed that Pavel doesn’t either. “But I don’t want to do it here.” He gestures at dusty music stands and instruments.
“Agreed.” Pavel nods seriously, like they’re discussing a science project or something. “I also would not like it here.”
“Also this is my… er, well, I thought this might be your first time. Is it?” Because he’s a coward, he avoids eye contact.
“Yes, no sex before.” Pavel manages to move into Hikaru’s line of vision and make eye contact. “And for you too, yes?”
He nods.
“Good. We both want sex. It is both our first time.” Pavel bites his lip, something he does when he’s formulating a plan. “Okay, it’s simple. We have the sex in your bed very soon.”
Even though it sounds like Pavel is suggesting the approach they will take to solve a complex Calculus problem, Hikaru is still turned on. Probably the combination of “sex” and “bed.”
“I like it.” He presses against Pavel and kisses his neck.
Pavel smiles. “It’s a plan.”
Their plan is foiled by none other than Thanksgiving.
Never has Hikaru been less thankful.
His sister’s back, which means he’s on the couch in the family room. (How come he’s the one who has to give up his room? Because his mother said so, that’s why.)
Not only does he not have his bed, but with Mariko home it’s like there’s no breathing space, forget private space, in the house.
Also not helping is the endless stream of aunts, uncles and cousins. Never has Hikaru been less happy to see any of them. Despite all the good food they’re bringing.
His annoyance is starting to turn to murderous hatred towards the family, when the savior appears.
Or, well, calls Hikaru on the phone.
(Of course, Hikaru doesn’t let on about quite how miraculous Jim’s timing is. Can’t let Jim, no matter how helpful he is, get an even bigger ego. It’s a service Hikaru does for the world, really.)
Still, ego or no, when they bowed their heads to give thanks before the big meal this year, Jim totally should have been at the top of Hikaru’s list.
Well, maybe second, after Pavel.
He gives thanks again when it’s just he and Pavel in the car. It’s blessedly quiet.
They don’t talk on the way there.
Not because they’re awkward, ’cause things are pretty comfortable right now, but because they’re both happy to not be answering endless questions posed by well-meaning but annoyingly curious relatives.
Thank god for the “test” Jim reminded him they had to study for.
Come to think of it, it’s pretty incredible that Pavel went along with it. He hates to lie, although he seems to be doing more of it lately.
When they stop at a light, he turns and looks at Pavel. “Thanks for going along with the whole test thing. I know honesty’s more your thing.”
The light turns green but he catches Pavel smile before returning his eyes to the road. “I never had a reason to lie before.”
“Ahh.” Hikaru grins. “So sneaking out to be with your boyfriend is a good reason?”
He sneaks a glance at Pavel; he’s turned bright red, but his voice is steady. “Very good reason.”
They slip into their usual patterns at Jim’s, which is kinda nice.
He’s enjoying hearing McCoy’s annoyed tone from the other room because it means Pavel has started a debate. Hikaru had also forgotten how much he loves one-on-one time with Jim.
Even if the guy is kicking his ass.
“Fuck,” he says when he’s creamed by Jim. “Man, it is good to swear again. Fuck, my place is crazy right now.”
“Aw, come on.” Jim sits back with a triumphant smile. “All that family? Can’t be all bad.”
Jim says things like that with a light tone, but Hikaru catches something underneath.
He wants to say something. About how it sucks that Jim’s mom isn’t around. Ever. That he’s in this huge house all by himself.
Instead he says, “Suppose you’re right. But I’m still glad to be here with you.”
“Can’t stay away, can you? What can I say? I’m irresistible.”
He punches Jim lightly on the arm. “That you are, that you are.”
“Hey!” Pavel appears and hits Jim on his other arm, hard. But with a smile on his face.
“Ow!” Jim rubs his arm. “What the hell, kid?”
“You don’t hit on my boyfriend.” He’s clearly enjoying razzing Jim about something for a change, but Hikaru suspects there’s a hint of seriousness there too.
Jim catches it as well.
“Aw, he’s a possessive one.” Jim dodges Pavel’s arm and pulls him into a hug. “Guess he’s good enough for you, Hikaru.”
Pavel laughs and squirms away. He surprises Hikaru by coming over and sitting down on his lap.
“Is this your way of saying video game time is over?” Hikaru asks.
Pavel shrugs, looking simultaneously innocent and evil.
McCoy has joined them, too, which really does mean the end of the gaming. Jim turns the TV off, which sucks because Hikaru really doesn’t want to move right now. He likes the weight of Pavel on him.
And how close the back of Pavel’s neck is to him. He can see these pale hairs against Pavel’s paler skin. He brushes them with a quick finger movement. Pavel shifts.
He moves just enough that Hikaru catches Jim and McCoy exchanging a look.
Which is confirmed when Jim stands up, stretches. “I’m just going to the kitchen with Bones here,” he stares pointedly at McCoy, “to see about a snack.”
McCoy gets up grumbling something Hikaru can’t make out and suspects he’s better off not hearing. Jim practically drags him from the room.
Pavel leans back fully against him. “That was nice of them.”
“Huh?” Hikaru’s focus is on the blond hairs he’s found on Pavel’s arm.
“To leave us alone. Your friends are very nice.”
“Oh yeah, friends, good.” He kisses the back of Pavel’s neck and wraps an arm around him. “I have you all to myself.”
Pavel laughs. “Oh yeah?” There’s a challenge in his tone. “What are you going to do about it?”
Surprising himself, Hikaru has Pavel flipped over lying on his back on the couch and is straddling him by the time Pavel’s finished his question.
“Oh,” is all Hikaru lets Pavel say for a long time.
He only stops when the sounds from the kitchen get loud, like Jim is banging two pots together (which he probably is).
Probably good, too, because Hikaru was so about to lose his cool.
He doesn’t sit up right away - he knows that was Jim’s 30 second warning. Sure he’s hot and his knee is starting to hurt stretched out at this weird angle, but he wants just a little longer to appreciate Pavel pressed against him.
Hear Pavel’s breath in his ear.
Feel the brush of lips against his cheek.
He’s using up every last second.
On the drive home, Hikaru’s mind catches up to something he’d missed earlier thanks to horniness. There’s nothing like the proximity of family to drive away thoughts of sex.
“You know,” he starts, “they’re not just my friends.”
Pavel pauses from rejecting everything on the radio. “Sorry, what?” Pavel’s hand slips from the easy rock station he’d stopped on and now there’s just static on the radio.
“Ack!” Hikaru hits a preset button and never has LMFAO been a more welcome sound. “Jim and McCoy, they’re your friends too.”
“Right.” Pavel nods but still looks confused. Which is really just him not looking like he’s ten steps ahead of everyone else.
“Earlier you called them my friends.” They’ve arrived home but neither of them makes a move to get out of the car. “They’re yours too. Hell, I think McCoy likes you more than me. In fact, I know he does.”
Pavel nods, but doesn’t say anything. He’s just sitting there looking at his lap.
“Pavel.” He grabs Pavel’s hand and holds it. “What’s going on?”
“Really? They are my friends?”
He nods, which forces Pavel to meet his eyes. He looks a little sad. “Of course! When I was an asshole to you,” he checks the house but no one seems to have noticed they’re home, “McCoy was mad at me and Jim told me he missed you.”
“Oh!” A smile seems to envelope Pavel’s face. “That is good! I mean, not about that time, but being friends.” He looks down at his lap again. “I have not many friends back home.”
Hikaru’s not sure what feels worse: that without these circumstances he wouldn’t have even been friends with Pavel, or that Pavel is basically friendless back home.
He pulls Pavel into an awkward side hug.
“They don’t know what they’re missing.”
“Okay, what am I missing?”
It’s the next day and Mariko has managed to corner him alone in her own (old) room.
“Uh.” Hikaru stares at Flopsy, who’s still hanging out on the bookshelf. “Missing?”
Mariko - clearly following his eyeline - picks up Flopsy and then flops back on her Hello Kitty-less bed. “Fill me in. What’s new around here?” She folds back Flopsy’s ear and fails at carelessly casual. “What’s new with you?”
“Eh.” Hikaru shrugs, tries on some of the carelessly casual himself. “Not much. Pavel’s the only new thing.”
He sits down beside her and folds back Flopsy’s other ear.
“He’s okay,” Hikaru adds. He doesn’t feel like adding more.
Mariko rolls her eyes. “Seriously? Could you be any less verbose? I don’t care about Pavel, tell me about this hypothetical someone!”
“It’s like you don’t understand hypothetical.”
“Oh please, I know all about hypothetical.” She tosses Flopsy in the air and catches him. “At least tell me if things have moved beyond the hypothetical.”
Hikaru stares at Pavel’s suitcase, which is peeking out of the closet.
“Yeah. No longer hypothetical.”
Mariko sighs. It sounds like a sigh of relief. “So things are good.”
“Yeah.” Hikaru closes his eyes. He can see Pavel’s curls and his still dorky clothes. “Very good.”
Things get even better when Mariko and the others clear out. Even though Mariko wasn’t as annoying as usual, Hikaru’s still glad to see her off to school.
Of course, by the time the hoard of relatives left, Pavel had charmed them all and they included him in their goodbye hugs and kisses.
It was awesome to see him bending down to hug Hikaru’s tiny round grandmother.
But fuck all that, he’s so happy it’s just four of them in the house again. And most important of all, he has his room back.
This means the vague planless plan is back on.
It would help if he wasn’t so fucking terrified.
Fortunately, it turns out that Pavel is terrified, too.
It’s not hard to tell.
The next time they’re alone together (an exciting Saturday of errands for his parents), Pavel does everything he can to keep the mood unsexy. He talks about homework, suggests making a homework schedule, explains it’s imperative that they study for Physics right now. And when he’s not doing that, he’s pacing around the room and keeping an arm’s length away from Hikaru.
“Pavel!” he interrupts some new discussion of a special Physics study schedule. “It’s okay.” Pavel looks at him like he’s crazy, which may be possible. “I know we have a plan, but I’m not going to jump you right now.”
Pavel sits down on the bed, his face red.
Hikaru pulls Pavel into a hug.
After it becomes uncomfortable sitting there, he gently guides them both down so they’re lying on the bed side by side, his arm around Pavel.
They lie there like that till Hikaru’s arm falls asleep and he has to move it.
Then end up studying for Physics, after all, which seems to relax Pavel a lot.
So much so that, after an hour of focus, Hikaru shoves Pavel’s book away and kisses him. He keeps it sweet and chaste, lets Pavel set the pace.
They make out until his parents return home, then they go back to studying.
Not surprisingly, Jim provides the solution to their mutual - and, Hikaru feels, understandable - terror of sex.
Jim and Hikaru are driving around together, drinking milkshakes and shooting the shit, as per usual while Pavel’s working with Nyota.
The shit gets serious when Hikaru fails at their easy banter.
Jim pulls into a Target parking lot and turns to face Hikaru. “Okay, man, what’s up? Don’t be shy, you can tell Doctor Jim.”
“Just because your boyfriend’s going to be a doctor doesn’t remotely qualify you as one.”
Jim just raises an eyebrow.
“Fine.” Hikaru watches a mother chase her kid who’s running with the shopping cart. “It’s just we’re both ready for, well, you know… but it’s not so easy to just do it, you know?”
Jim smirks. “I’m not sure I do know.”
Hikaru sighs. “Sex, okay, Pavel and I, we want to have it. But now that it’s out there, we’re both dancing around the issue.”
“Ahhh,” Jim starts the car and heads out of the parking lot. “Don’t worry, Doctor Jim has the answer.”
They don’t say much after that but, oddly, Hikaru isn’t worrying. This is Jim’s area of expertise, after all. He waits while Jim goes into his house and returns a few minutes later with a book.
He slaps it into Hikaru’s hand. “Read it. Give it to Pavel to read.”
“Okay.” Hikaru stuffs the book deep into his bag. “Uh, thanks.”
“No problem. What’re friends for?” Jim smirks. “Soon you boys’ll be fucking like bunnies and it’ll be all thanks to me!”
Hikaru snorts.
“I give you The Joy of Gay Sex, and this is the thanks I get.” Jim affects a hurt tone. “See if I ever do anything for you again.”
“Right, you’re so hard done by. No one appreciates you. Definitely not your best friend.”
“This is what I’m saying!” Jim gestures wildly. “I give and I give and I give, and what? Nothing!”
“So sad.”
“True that, my horny friend.”
Hikaru pretends to hit his head against the dashboard. “Why are we friends again?”
“Because I’m awesome.”
“Right, that must be it. You’re awesome.”
“Truer words, man, truer words.”
The book is actually helpful. Basically it reminds him he knows what to do, he’s prepared. So now it’s just about the right time.
He gives the book to Pavel, who looks ecstatic to have study material.
At least this is one subject that will actually have real life application.
Hikaru’s looking forward to Pavel getting to the oral sex section.
He’s happy to spend as many hours as it’ll take to get that down.
Hikaru is just drifting off - in between asleep and awake -when he feels his bed dip.
“Are you awake, Hikaru?” Pavel whispers.
He totally is now. “Yeah.”
He can feel a warm Pavel press against his side and can’t resist turning over so they’re facing each other.
Pavel scoots closer and kisses Hikaru, softly.
They lie like that for a while, just kissing not touching. Until Pavel starts moving his hand up and down Hikaru’s side. It’s almost hypnotic. It’s nice.
Hikaru returns the gesture, then finds his hand sliding under Pavel’s pajama shirt and pressing into Pavel’s lower back, pulling him closer.
Soon Pavel slides a leg between Hikaru’s.
Hikaru yanks Pavel fully against him, so there’s no space between them.
Pavel moans and bites Hikaru’s lip.
Things speed up.
Hands become frantic and go everywhere.
Hikaru’s on top, then Pavel, then Hikaru again.
Now all he can think about is getting off and he knows Pavel’s thinking the same thing.
Hikaru grinds into Pavel. Pavel grinds back into Hikaru.
It’s not long before they’re gasping into each others’ ears and coming.
Hikaru wants to flop on his back, but he wants even more to pull Pavel close, which he does.
He’s drifting off to sleep when Pavel whispers in his ear. “It is best I return to my bed. Your mother.”
Hikaru groans as Pavel slides out of bed, but doesn’t say anything else. Pavel presses a brief kiss on Hikaru’s lips and is gone.
Hikaru’s bed has never felt so big.
They don’t talk about it the next day. The school routine is the same, no illicit make out sessions. Pavel seems pretty intent on his studies, and without thinking about it, Hikaru follows suit.
That night Hikaru lies in bed debating whether to sneak into Pavel’s room or not.
He’s just sliding a foot out of bed when there’s a creak in the hall. The leg is back under the covers without conscious thought.
When his door opens silently a minute later and his bed dips, he smiles.
He keeps smiling even when Pavel’s cold hands are on his back. By the time sharp kisses trail down his neck, Hikaru’s too far gone to know whether he’s smiling or not.
And when a hesitant hand starts to rub his dick through his pajamas, Hikaru’s not sure he remembers his own name.
Afterward, Hikaru’s still surprised that he had the guts to slide down and take Pavel’s dick in his mouth. It was as awkward and messy as he’d imagined.
Also, hotter.
What with Pavel flailing and wildly grabbing at Hikaru’s hair. And biting on his own arm to keep quiet.
It’s enough to make Hikaru come. Untouched.
That’s the most surprising part.
Hikaru finds he wants to do more than just “the sex” with Pavel.
He takes Pavel to some mindless movie, ones with lots of explosions and very ripped guys (it’s like Hollywood designed the movie just for them) and holds his hand the entire time.
Even when his hand falls asleep, he doesn’t stop.
Neither does Pavel.
Not that Hikaru isn’t interested in or enjoying the sex. Sometimes it’s all he can think about. Normally at the most inconvenient times, like during family dinner or Physics.
Pavel’s visits are now nightly.
They haven’t moved beyond oral and jerking each other off, but things are getting more intense. Once he came on Pavel’s stomach, which was the hottest thing ever.
The problem is: Hikaru knows he won’t be able to keep quiet if he actually gets to fuck Pavel.
So they’re stalled out.
Christmas break and The Return of Mariko loom ever larger and Hikaru is still planless.
Until, oddly enough, Mariko’s visit provides the solution.
“Maybe we should break up the trip, Yuji,” his mother says, her fork paused above her plate. “Seven hours is a long drive for one day.”
“Jane,” his dad sighs, setting his glass down. “It’s a fourteen hour round trip, there’s not enough time to take pleasure stops.”
The time argument seems dodgy in Hikaru’s book, considering his parents’ retired status.
“Pleasure stops? This is about safety. At your age you can’t drive that much. You’re not twenty-one anymore.”
Pavel is following the “discussion” like it’s a tennis match.
His dad sighs again. “If we want a day to visit the campus, we can’t take extra stops.”
Now that’s a winning argument. He knows the whole point of this repeat campus “visit” is to inspect Mariko’s living situation and ensure it meets their immaculate standards.
“Perhaps you’re right. And if we leave early we’ll arrive before dark.”
Hikaru assumes “early” is some ungodly hour he will inexplicably need to be awake at, too. Even though he’s staying home.
And he won’t be alone.
Suddenly he’s never been happier about his parents’ overparenting.
He knows the day is coming soon when he will hate it and it may ruin everything, but for now he’s going with happy.
Hikaru’s a teenager - he’s not supposed to be thinking about the future.
“Do you think you boys will be alright?”
“Huh?” Hikaru had lost the thread of the dinner conversation.
“Alright while your dad and I are gone?”
“Oh, right, yes!” Hikaru carefully doesn’t look at Pavel.
Pavel nods. “Absolutely!”
Apparently Pavel’s presence has lulled his parents into a false sense of security because they have no qualms leaving the two of them alone.
Naturally his mom fills the freezer with enough food to feed ten of them for a month. And that’s not counting the food that’s in the fridge or the money she left for pizza. (“A treat for you boys.”) But that’s clearly out of concern for their eating habits, nothing else.
Hikaru is worried he may be tipping his hand by helpfully carrying their bags to the car.
He’s one step down from literally shoving them out of the door.
But their sheer ecstasy at seeing Mariko blinds them to any of Hikaru’s ulterior motives.
And, boy, does he have some ulterior motives.
“Boy” being the operative word.
Being alone together proves to be good in theory but awkward in practice.
They spend the first hour drinking soda and watching the TV from opposite sides of the couch. There’s something on about auctions and a storage locker full of women’s shoes, Hikaru’s not really following.
He keeps sneaking looks at Pavel but never catches his eye.
This goes on until out of desperation he asks himself, WWJD? What would Jim do? And, bam, he knows the answer.
It still takes him a minute to move closer and put an arm around Pavel, but he’s confident about his move. Especially when he employs the patented Jim Kirk technique of lightly stroking Pavel’s arm. It works like charm; he actually feels Pavel relaxing.
Pretty soon one thing leads to another and they’re making out on the couch like, well, the teenagers that they are.
Pretty soon after that, Hikaru has his hand under Pavel’s shirt and is pinching his nipple while Pavel’s hands squeeze Hikaru’s ass.
Pretty soon the couch isn’t big enough and Hikaru finds himself dragging Pavel upstairs.
Pretty soon isn’t good enough, Hikaru wants now.
Now in his bedroom, Hikaru slows down, takes a breath.
Lying beneath him, Pavel is doing the same.
Hikaru has a second to wonder if he should light a candle, turn on some music, something appropriate, when Pavel pulls him down into a fierce kiss.
His brain loses track of its train, let alone its thoughts.
He finds himself lost in Pavel. His skin, exploring it.
He can’t get enough of the skin over Pavel’s collarbone.
It’s hard not to be distracted by Pavel’s hands, how they feel touching Hikaru.
Pavel traces a finger lightly down Hikaru’s back and he shivers.
He finds himself yanking off clothes - his, Pavel’s, whatever he can reach. He only realizes Pavel is helping when he feels his pants and underwear being shoved down his legs.
He kicks them off and realizes he’s naked.
He stops.
Pavel stops.
They stare at each other. Breathe.
Pavel’s pupils are huge, his cheeks red.
The flush in those cheeks gets Hikaru going again. He reaches into his drawer so the condom and lube will be close at hand.
Something about safe sex supplies makes things very real. “Pavel, are you, you know, sure? I don’t want to rush you, or anything. Make you feel -”
Pavel places a hand on Hikaru’s chest. “Stop, Hikaru. I want this.” There’s a shake to his voice, but no doubt of his sincerity. “Fuck me, please, Hikaru. Now.”
And that’s all Hikaru needs to hear.
There may have been some awkwardness with the lube.
It’s also possible it took some time to find a good position.
And that things didn’t last very long.
But Hikaru doesn’t remember any of that.
He remembers how tight Pavel felt.
How he felt he could hardly move.
That, at some point, Pavel seemed to let go and just feel.
That Hikaru did, too.
It’s probably true that their first time wasn’t porn worthy, but Hikaru doesn’t care.
Because it was awesome.
“We wait a few more minutes, then try again, yes?”
And they’re just getting started.
Concludes here.