Ficlet: "Parts of a Whole" PG
Title: Parts of a Whole
Author: nancyhartigan
Rating: PG
Summary: Sometimes unfinished business stays that way
Disclaimer: Smoking...if that should be disclaimed. Add a touch of angst.
Notes: Something that popped into my head and wouldn't leave me alone until it came out. Comment would be appreciated.
We sat outside smoking as we had so many times before. Looking at the star filled sky in a comfortable silence. I had long since let go of my need of constant prattle for my lack of comfort with him long ago. Instead I enjoy our silence as a sign of friendship and bonding long since developed. I take a drag from my clove and the sweet smell of the smoke surrounds me when I hear him speak.
“I was thinking of you the other day.” He said to me.
“Really? Pleasant thoughts I hope”, was my only reply.
“Yes, I was outside my house smoking and thinking of when we shared the flat together. I was thinking how we would stand on the balcony smoking and talking.”
I smiled as the memories flood over me like a soft wave. Our time as flat mates was miserably short as our own lives took over and drove us apart. “Yes, it didn’t matter what the weather was, did it?” I ask lightly.
He makes a small noise in agreement as I take another drag off my clove. The night air is soft and pleasant for summer and I take a moment to just enjoy it when I hear him say, “Do you still love me?”
The question takes me by surprise, but I quickly recover and with a small smirk that he can’t see from the way the light is hitting me I reply, “Don’t ask things you really don’t want to know…,” taking another drag of my clove, “…I no longer lie for the comfort of others.”
His first response to this is silence and I assume that he will let it drop until I hear him say, “But I want to know.”
I turn to look at him and notice his body is tense waiting for my reply. “Yes, I do.” I say with a small sad smile. “I will for the rest of my life.”
His eyes are penetrating into me and I wonder what good this conversation will do for us. He long since moved on, and I having realized that our unfinished business is what it is. “I never understood why.” He says finally and I can’t help but sigh.
“Because I’ve seen the whole of you instead of the fractions that you usually only show others,” I say looking at him evenly, “I see your beauty and your flaws, and I have never been afraid to tell you what they are. I should have done a better job of it perhaps at times; but mostly to me it was all part of the whole package. I accepted it, and loved you in spite of those things. You’re magic to me, and that has not changed.” I finish looking away from him and back up at the stars.
He stays quiet for a moment and we spend another moment smoking in silence. “I wish I had been smarter then.” He says quietly.
“Ah, yes, well so do I.” is all I can respond with as I watch a shooting star skitter across the sky and disappear. So do I.