A Scrt About My vil Computr
A secret about my keyboard
I eat at the computer all the time. Especially toast. I love toast. Buttered toast. Buttered toast with jam. toast with peanut butter. Buttered toast with eggs. Unbuttered toast with eggs if my sister makes it, because for some reason she hasn’t mastered the buttering toast bit of making meals. She remembers to butter her own toast only after sitting down at the table and taking a bite of it, and since she never sits down and takes a bite of my toast (and frankly, she wouldn’t live long if she did) she never remembers. Sometimes I remind her; sometimes I just go without.
Anyway, the point of the story is, there are toast crumbs in my keyboard. I don’t know how to get them out. They move around a bit, and usually congregate under a letter. This letter changes pretty much day to day, but it’s usually constant for a 24-hour period (or so… until I move the computer). I always know which letter the crumbs are under because all of a sudden, everyhing I ype sars lacking a very imporan componen.
[everything I type starts lacking a very important component]
It’s not that I can’t type… it’s just that I have to pound repeatedly on that particular key until I beat the crumbs into [temporary] submission, they run off to a neutral, rarely used key (like the tilde) until their next foray into destroying my life.
If you haven’t noticed… I’m kind of a snob. Improper grammar wounds me… deeply. Badly spelled words cry out to me, screaming for me to rescue them. In the fine tradition of Lynne Truss, I have sharpied in apostrophes. I have captured unnecessary quotation marks on film (all right, digital. It’s the 21st century, for goodness’ sake) and sent them into the appropriate blog. I am not a perfect person-after rather arrogantly calling a professor on a grammatical error within a study guide, I was made aware of multiple faults within my own facebook profile. But the thing is, when called out, I’m willing to discuss hara-kiri. I fix the mistake, shamefaced, convinced I will never blog again. Today I sat twitching through bible study because the leader wrote “conciously” on the whiteboard. I drew the letter S all over my notepad, hoping someone would take the hint. No one did.
O uddenly faced with a maacre of the Englih language o groteque a I am reduced to when the crumb revolt againt me, I am horrified and appalled. I double, triple, quadruple-check every sentence I write (I never use a spellchecker because, as the St Ansgar’s bulletin has weakly prove, things sleep bye) but sometimes…. Human Nature happens.
And the worst part is... I have no idea how to fix this. Canned air? Take the keyboard apart? There's absolutely no space in between the keys to stick a q-tip through (which is how I fixed the desktop computer keyboard) and I'm not about to start screwing around with the components of my keyboard.
'm such a technologcal llterate.