A Reason to Write
In honor of NaNoWriMo, which began 2 hr 30 min ago.
I write to mend the broken thoughts lying in my mind. I write to fill the silence crowding an empty room. I write to be less alone, to be surrounded by the comfort of my own words instead of others. I write to strip away the fear of being different, the fear of being all too common. I write to be better than I am, to be able to look five, ten, twenty years from now and see change instead of stagnant complacency. I write to crowd out insecurities, doubts, fears, sense of inferiority, rejections, fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of the wrong success. I write to gainsay the voice in me that says I cannot. I write to put my anger, my confusion, my bitterness, my rage on the paper that will not bear the same scars as human flesh. I write to feel the emotions I would otherwise smother before they’re fully born. I write to wreck the orderly house I'm helping build. I write to be contrary. I write to be polite. I write to be ordinary. I write to be hypocritical, to spout lies and indifference to those who want such things and to those who don’t. I write to reach the high addicts search for with needles and throbbing veins. I write to lose myself in the confusion of the living. I write to retrieve myself when I’m lost. I write to find myself in the depression of the keyboard, in the useless words that fall from my fingertips and my mind.
I write because amid so many lies there must be one phrase, one word that comes with no fear at all.
I write to mend the broken thoughts lying in my mind. I write to fill the silence crowding an empty room. I write to be less alone, to be surrounded by the comfort of my own words instead of others. I write to strip away the fear of being different, the fear of being all too common. I write to be better than I am, to be able to look five, ten, twenty years from now and see change instead of stagnant complacency. I write to crowd out insecurities, doubts, fears, sense of inferiority, rejections, fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of the wrong success. I write to gainsay the voice in me that says I cannot. I write to put my anger, my confusion, my bitterness, my rage on the paper that will not bear the same scars as human flesh. I write to feel the emotions I would otherwise smother before they’re fully born. I write to wreck the orderly house I'm helping build. I write to be contrary. I write to be polite. I write to be ordinary. I write to be hypocritical, to spout lies and indifference to those who want such things and to those who don’t. I write to reach the high addicts search for with needles and throbbing veins. I write to lose myself in the confusion of the living. I write to retrieve myself when I’m lost. I write to find myself in the depression of the keyboard, in the useless words that fall from my fingertips and my mind.
I write because amid so many lies there must be one phrase, one word that comes with no fear at all.