Fic: (HnG) Season of Black Chrysanthemums: Winter - Part 4/5
Title: Season of Black Chrysanthemums: Winter
Author: corbeaun
Fandom: Hikaru no Go
Disclaimer: Hikaru no Go belongs to Obata Takeshi and Hotta Yumi.
Winter
Part 4
* * *
He flipped the cell phone over and over again in his hand.
It had been one of the first things Touya gave him. At the time, he had protested loudly against any form of charity. But Touya had just given him this look that said he couldn't believe how stupid Hikaru was being. "And how, exactly," he'd snipped, "will I contact you without a phone?" An expensive cell phone service had been one of the first things Hikaru had decided he could do without when he'd moved out on his own. And the landline at his apartment was more often than not the last bill paid when his finances cut too close. And Hikaru's finances always cut too close.
Akari had taken to calling him at the ramen shop.
When Hikaru mentioned this and suggested Touya do the same thing, the other man had given him another look - this time, one Hikaru couldn't quite read - and Touya had replied curtly, "Security."
So here he was in bed, flipping over and over in his hand the cell phone that Touya had given him nearly a month ago, when he hadn't seen Touya himself in nearly two weeks. He didn't realize how insular he'd become until he found his evenings suddenly and inexplicably empty after Touya made his worrisome little ultimatum.
He couldn't meet up with Akari either, since she'd gone back to her college. And anyway, he'd promised he wouldn't bother her for a while.
Her confession was still a bit of a shock.
Hikaru sighed, and flopped back onto his futon, tossing the cell phone onto the floor beside him. The ceiling crack above him was a familiar and reassuring sight. He needed a bit of reassurance after the tumultuous events the last few days. It was as if suddenly he'd looked around and realized none of his friends were what they seemed. Take Akari for instance. He had thought they were just really good friends. Granted, sometimes, he thought of her as a nice, somewhat domineering younger sister who gave him food. But never did she hint that she harbored more than platonic feelings for him.
"Sheesh, Akari," he grumbled, "why'd you have to go and be such a girl." But then he immediately felt guilty.
Hikaru knew he was, for some reason, uncommonly oblivious to things like that. Usually, it took something quite brazen - something Yuki or a woman like her would do - to make him realize that someone was interested in him in that way. And he certainly didn't expect Akari to throw herself on him the way Yuki had the first time he met her.
But he had been as honest as he could when he told Akari he had never thought of her like that. In fact, Hikaru didn't think he'd thought of any girl like that, ever. There were always just too many other things going on in his life. The added burden of a girlfriend he didn't need. In fact, he thought bitchedly to himself, Touya Akira was equal to the burden of at least three different girlfriends.
He glared at the cell phone lying beside him, but it still resolutely refused to ring.
The past two weeks, Hikaru had left an untold number of messages on Touya's phone. Touya had, after the first few calls, simply taken to not answering. Hikaru was still refusing to consider going back as a go pro if Touya wasn't going to go back with him. Leaving him behind was out of the question.
But now, alone in his one-room apartment, without having faced Touya across the goban in weeks, Hikaru wondered if he was going at it the wrong way. He glanced at the windup clock and groaned at the realization it was only nine, and it was the night of New Year's Eve. He never went to bed that early before Touya messed with his life.
Hikaru wondered what Touya was doing.
Impulsively, he thumbed open the cell phone and pressed speed-dial one. To his happy surprise, the phone only rang once, then was picked up. He could hear music tinkling in the background.
"Touya? It's Shindo."
The voice from the speaker was overly cool. "Yes?"
"Look," he said quickly before the other man could hang up, "can we talk?"
The long, considering silence before Touya said anything made him nervous. Then Touya answered, "The car will be in front of your building in fifteen minutes." He cut the call before Hikaru could agree or disagree, leaving Hikaru staring down in disbelief at the cell phone in his hands.
"Geez, his manners sure got worse over the years," Hikaru muttered.
The car actually arrived five minutes early. Hikaru had barely finished pulling on a jacket when a heavy pounding sounded through the front door, rattling the foyer walls. Irritated, Hikaru wrenched open the door. "What the hell, Touya -" He cut himself off. Standing at the entrance was a hulking figure of man he had never seen before.
"The boss sent me," the man said gruffly.
Hikaru swallowed. "Oh, you mean..."
The man grunted curtly and raised his left hand. The pinky was missing a segment.
Hikaru tried hard not to stare at this traditional yakuza self-mutilation. "Right."
The car waiting outside on the curb was the same one Touya had driven. It made Hikaru feel a little more comfortable seeing it. However, the driver Touya had sent pointedly opened the backdoor instead of the customary passenger side that Hikaru had grown accustomed to; Hikaru obediently got in.
As the unfamiliar roads flashed past in the window, however, Hikaru became increasingly uneasy. "Um, excuse me," he raised his voice, "aren't we going to the Kagurazuka district?"
The man driving the car only grunted a negative.
Hikaru tried again. "Where are we going?"
The grunt this time sounded aggravated. "To the boss's," was all he got.
Hikaru settled back on the seat, resolved not to irritate the man any further. He looked like he ate people like Hikaru for breakfast; and while Touya might object after the matter, Hikaru didn't think it would help him. Then he began to wonder if this was indeed the car Touya had said he would send for him: It had been five minutes early, and he hadn't had a good look at the car in the night gloom. So far the familiar, crowded, festive-lit streets of downtown Tokyo were flashing past his window, but what if they drove straight on to some empty, cement back lot... Hikaru gripped Touya's cell phone in his hands.
Just as his wonderings became increasingly paranoid, the car pulled up in front of the glittering façade of the Tokyo Ritz-Carlton.
The hotel doorman looked surprised to see Hikaru step out of the Mercedes, but then quickly smoothed his face into a bland expression of welcome. Hikaru stopped uncertainly before him. He would have tried to ask Touya's hulk of a driver, but the car had pealed off in the direction of the parking lot. There had been a brief scuffle - resolved nonviolently, thank god - when the valet had tried to take the car keys from the man. Now Hikaru stood alone before the entrance of the grand hotel.
"Hey, mister," Hikaru greeted the doorman, "Can you tell me where to find Touya? Touya Akira." He raised his hand to the level of his head. "About this tall, strange hair-cut, likes to wear suits with odd colored ties."
The doorman had looked blandly at him throughout this short recitation. When Hikaru finished, he said nothing and waved a hand inside, toward the hotel entrance. Hikaru stared at the revolving door, then back at the doorman. "The front desk." He had the strangest feeling he was being snubbed. The doorman bowed politely. "Right. Thanks, man."
When he pushed past the revolving door and walked down the large, glittering hotel lobby, an elegantly dressed woman stepped out from a nearby lounge. "Shindo Hikaru?" she asked, the tone of her voice clearly stated that the question was mere courtesy.
Hikaru stopped and looked at her curiously. "Yeah, that's me," he replied. "Where's Touya?"
She smiled, her carefully glossed lips parting to reveal small, white teeth. "The gentlemen are waiting in the private room. Please follow me."
The private "room" turned out to be a small ballroom, easily twenty times the size of Hikaru's small one-room apartment. Hikaru couldn't help but stare at the enormous crystal chandelier dripping with strands of faceted teardrops from the middle of the vaulted ceiling. He almost missed how the black-suited guards blocked the double doors behind him. Blinking back the dazzling brilliance of the lights, Hikaru slowly realized that the ballroom was filled with tall, gorgeous women in suspiciously skimpy gowns. There were a few comfortable-looking, middle-aged men circulating like great, dark predators through the shoal of brightly colored women. He didn't see Touya anywhere.
The same woman who had led him inside interrupted his uncomfortable regard of the barred exit. "Excuse me, Shindo-san, this way please."
She led him further in, this time into a side room that was actually small enough to be called such. He spotted the back of Touya immediately. Hikaru would have called out to him, unbelievably relieved to find a familiar face, but then abruptly caught the brittle tension of the other man's spine. The exuberant greeting died in his mouth. When Touya turned to face him, Hikaru knew he had been right to wait.
"Hello, Shindo," Touya greeted him politely, sounding to all the world as if they were the barest of acquaintances. "I'm glad you could join us tonight."
Hikaru smiled weakly. "Hey to you too."
The large, balding man that Touya had been talking snapped shut the fan he was holding and also turned to Hikaru. He raised an eyebrow at the sight of Hikaru's dirty, well-worn jeans and sneakers. Hikaru fidgeted under the man's small, beady gaze, only then realizing he might be slightly underdressed for the surroundings.
The man fingered the folded length of his fan thoughtfully. He was, Hikaru saw, missing the top two segments of his pinky. "You going to skin this one, or toss him back, eh, Akira-kun?"
'Akira-kun' smiled coolly. "Always a joker, Ohba-san. No, this is my choice for the game tonight."
Hikaru began to feel his palms clam up with sweat. He didn't like the sound of whatever Touya was volunteering him for, but he suspected speaking up now would be the most idiotic thing to do. Not the least, he was sure Touya would never speak to him again if he did.
Ohba grinned widely, as if he could read Hikaru's anxiety. "Very well. I accept your choice." He waved his fan toward the center table, which Hikaru just realized held a go board. "Shall we?"
Touya bowed in assent. The large man and a few black-suited men proceeded to the seats surrounding the go board. Hikaru hung back with Touya.
"H-hey," Hikaru tugged at Touya's sleeve, "what am I doing?"
Touya turned at Hikaru's strained whisper. He gazed at him calmly. "Just win, Shindo." And then he turned sharply and joined the spectators around the table.
Left behind, Hikaru sputtered in silent outrage. At that moment, there was a slight commotion at the door. The large man, Ohba, jovially called out from his seat, "Ah, Gokiso-sensei. You're finally here."
A tiny man shuffled in and bowed servilely from just inside the doorway. "Oh-Ohba-san," he stammered.
It took Hikaru a long minute to recognize the man. When it hit him, he stared incredulously at this tiny figure of a man. He had only gotten grayer and more shriveled up with the years. The last time Hikaru had seen him, Sai had utterly dominated and humiliated him at an amateur go festival.
"You!" Hikaru shouted, pointing at the go pro who had tried to fake a Shusaku goban.
The tiny man looked startled. "Do we...know each other?" he asked hesitantly.
The sudden cessation of noise in the room made Hikaru suddenly remember where he was - and who he was among. The stares from all the hard-eyed men in the room made the hairs on the nape of his neck stiffen. Hikaru shook his head mutely.
"If the previously discussed terms are satisfactory," Touya interjected smoothly, addressing only Ohba who was seated beside him, "we should begin the match."
Ohba gave a short, satisfied nod. The look he gave Touya over the edge of his languidly waving fan was cold and missed nothing. "Of course," he said, "the loser takes all."
"Of course," Touya murmured.
The tiny man, Gokiso, had shuffled over to the head of the go board. After hesitating for a moment, Hikaru followed slowly and sat down opposite him at the table. He tried to look to Touya for what he should do next, but the other man only had that infuriatingly polite smile on his face. Ohba with the small, cold eyes smiled languidly at him from behind his fan.
Seeing Hikaru keep glancing to him, Touya only said, "Do your best, please. I trust your go."
Ohba chuckled nastily on overhearing that comment. "And I, Akira-kun," he grinned, "trust Gokiso-sensei's 7-dan."
Touya returned the smile politely but Hikaru could see how the corners of his eyes tightened. He wondered if Touya was worried about him not beating the old man. Sheesh, Hikaru thought to himself, feeling a bit offended. Sai had wiped the goban with this guy with one hand tied behind his back in that come-from-behind game years ago; the least Hikaru could do was beat him bloody in an even match. He paused. This was an even match, right?
As Hikaru bowed to the ceremonial greeting before the game start, he decided it didn't matter. Handicap or not, he was going to dominate the board and give the old pro no choice but to resign. He found he liked the sound of that plan very much. Yoshi! Hikaru cheered on himself silently.
But it turned out that the game wasn't half as exciting as the most causal game he'd played with Touya.
In the space of half an hour, he'd staked out the most important points on the board, strengthened his territory, and encompassed Gokiso's all in one swoop. Hikaru kept waiting to hear the old pro acknowledge his defeat - Hikaru could see clearly that his advantage wasn't going to change however the other man played. But for some strange reason, Gokiso was playing long past the polite point of resignation. Gokiso's white stones kept clicking persistently on the go board. Hikaru frowned, and looked up to see Touya had noticed this as well. Touya had a bland, non-expression on his face as he turned to Ohba, who was seated beside him.
Ohba looked murderous.
Meanwhile, Gokiso persistently placed one losing stone after another, hands shaking. He was, Hikaru suddenly realized, afraid to stop.
"Will you concede the match, Ohba?" Touya murmured.
The large man exploded from his seat. "Enough!" he shouted, his fan sweeping across the go board, scattering stones all over the floor.
The sudden explosion of noise caused several men around Touya to tense and reach inside their suit jacket. The men around Ohba tensed as well. For a moment, there was a strained standoff. Hikaru tried hard not to breathe.
Touya remained seated quietly, a still center of calm in the room. "Do we have an agreement then?" he said evenly.
Ohba glared into Touya's straight, clear eyes. "Yeah," he ground out after a long, strained silence, "we do."
Then he and his men swept out of the room in a dark, angry flurry.
As the last of Ohba's men stalked out the door, Touya glanced at the old washed-up go pro that had been left behind. Gokiso 7-dan was still cowering on the floor beside his chair, not moving from where he'd fallen when Ohba swept free the go board.
"Make yourself scarce in Tokyo for a few months," Touya advised him not unkindly. "Ohba doesn't like to lose."
The old man nodded his head feebly. "Y-yes," he stuttered.
But Touya didn't acknowledge him, like he'd already dismissed the old pro from his mind. He nodded a dismissal at the men remaining in the room, and the rest of the black-suited men slipped out. Then Touya stood up from the plush seat and brushed off the creases on his pants. He smoothly straightened his necktie. From something like a daze, Hikaru noticed that he was wearing that funny, bee-striped tie. That brief piece of familiarity snapped Hikaru back to the ordinary, moving world.
"...Touya," Hikaru said slowly, "what -"
A sharp hand motion cut him off. "Not here," he said, and strode out the room. Hikaru had to hurry to catch up.
Outside was the same glittering, colorful, phony world that Hikaru remembered. The women were smiling just a little wider, laughing just a bit too loud. Most had latched onto the arms of one of those comfortable-looking old men. Hikaru glanced down at his wristwatch; it was only an hour to midnight. A waiter passed with a tray of champagne flutes, and Hikaru shooed him away quickly, but not before Touya managed to snag a glass for himself. Ohba was nowhere in sight.
"He probably left by the side door...Loss of face, you see," Touya murmured, correctly interpreting Hikaru's looking around the room.
Hikaru frowned at the nonchalantly champagne-sipping man standing beside him. "About him," he began, "what exactly -"
But Touya shushed him again, this time with a hand on his mouth. Hikaru blinked at the warm, dry brush of skin against his lips. This close, he couldn't help but notice the thick, dark fall of eyelashes lying against Touya's cheek. He felt slightly flushed beneath Touya's half-lidded gaze.
"Not here," Touya repeated, uncomfortably close in his ear. He felt the weight of Touya's hand press down upon his arm. Then Touya turned and began striding to the exit, and Hikaru had to hurriedly follow.
As they detoured around the center of the ballroom where a few couples were swaying idly to music, some women made to approach him and Touya. But as soon as they drew close, their eyes fastened to the lapels of Touya's jacket, and, without making eye contact, quickly backed away. Hikaru looked too, but saw nothing but a small, golden pin in the shape of a sunburst. Hikaru shrugged to himself warily. It was just another strange thing in a long night of oddities.
More important-looking men were streaming through the door as he and Touya exited the ballroom. He caught each of them slipping long, elaborately wrapped envelopes onto a large, ornate table just past the double doors, which he'd somehow missed seeing when the woman had first ushered him in.
"Don't stare," Touya said quietly as they neared the table, "it's impolite."
Hikaru tried hard not to, especially when he thought he saw an eminently famous face pass by. "Is that the," he croaked, but couldn't get the rest of the words, 'prime minister,' out.
Touya didn't even look. "Most likely," he replied. "Try not to judge, Shindo, we all have our secrets."
By now Hikaru had realized that the party was just a polite pretense to extort money from the political and industrial giants of the nation. The tall, gorgeous and scantily clad women crowding the ballroom were probably supposed to encourage the blackmailed men into parting with even more money. From what little Hikaru had seen, the men being blackmailed seemed perfectly ready to do so.
As soon as he followed Touya back to the hotel lobby, Hikaru felt himself breathe a sigh of relief. Ostentatious as the lobby of the Tokyo Ritz was, it was still a degree more palatable than the drunken lechery sponsored by the yakuza.
"Where are you taking us, Touya?"
"A private suite. We can talk there." Saying so, he approached a small, elegant side-elevator and slid a gold card into the slot. The burnished brass doors of the elevator swooshed open with the tinkle of a bell. Touya stepped inside and looked at him impatiently when Hikaru didn't immediately follow. The doors of the elevators closed smoothly behind Hikaru, nearly catching him by the shirttails.
"Can we talk now?" Hikaru asked a little snippily, as the elevator moved up. Touya was showing an unfortunate flair for dramatics that night.
"Just wait."
The elevator ride did not last long, which was fortunate for Hikaru's state of mind, and soon the doors slid open to an impressive view of the glittering Tokyo skyline at night. In the distance, Tokyo Tower was lit with a warm, orange glow. At any other time, Hikaru would have gaped at this display, but at that point he had had enough of the show of affluence Touya had been presenting to him through the entire, wretched evening. He stormed out of the elevator before the other man, and then whirled on him just as the elevator slid shut behind him.
"Touya!" he jabbed a finger at him, "You owe me an explanation! What the hell was that back there?" He threw up his arms in angry bewilderment, miming the explosion of go stones when Ohba had acknowledged his loss.
Touya faced him evenly. "If you lost, I would have had to ferry five tons of cocaine into Nagasaki."
Hikaru could only stare, stupefied.
The other man continued on, apparently taking the silence as a demand for further elaboration. "Ohba wanted to use my shipping and import control contacts to expand his drug business," he explained. "He's been mostly doing petty dealings of shabu - that's methamphetamine - on the Tokyo streets. But shabu is sold pure. Not much profit to be earned." Hikaru only stared; he felt the top of his head want to explode. The other man didn't seem to notice. "Now, coke - that can be cut." Touya's voice was remarkably matter-of-fact as he talked. "His plan would have put two-thirds of the yuppies and clubbing crowd on a coke addiction."
Hikaru finally found his voice. "Are you insane?" he exploded. "How can you just leave that to me?"
Even in the dimness, he could see Touya looked annoyed. "But this was the quickest way to accomplish what I needed. And I'm not yet risking open warfare with Ohba's faction."
"And you left it all to me. Touya!" He waved his arms. "Why didn't you handle it yourself?"
"Protocol, Shindo. He provided an unknown opponent, and I had to do the same. Protocol," he emphasized, "stopped us from settling the matter more...violently." He paused, then added, "That and the man's love for a good bet. He was, after all, just a lowly bakuto originally - a gambler."
Hikaru collapsed back onto a richly upholstered armchair. "But it's finished, right?" he asked tiredly. Touya didn't answer. "Touya?"
"This time," the other man finally, quietly agreed.
The sudden explosion of fireworks from outside the tall windows barely illuminated the tired set of Touya's mouth. Hikaru couldn't remember a time the other man had looked so listless before him. Whenever Touya had faced him before, especially back when they first met as boys, the intense light in his eyes had always made Hikaru feel as if he was hearing the bugle call to war. It had made him want to run and fight for...something. Now Touya's eyes only made him feel weary and wistful.
"Do you see now," the man asked in a soft voice. "This," he spread his hands out before him, encompassing the large, dark room and the entire Tokyo skyline before him; rainbow bursts of fireworks lit the night, "this is why I can't go back to professional go."
Hikaru didn't know what to say.
He had called Touya on the phone, somehow intending to persuade the other man to go back with him to the world of professional go. But the events of the past few hours had put into stark perspective all that Touya could lose by doing so. And both he and the tired man standing in front of him knew they were not talking about the loss of a penthouse suite with a view at the Ritz.
"Was he...?" Hikaru didn't quite know how to ask, "Was Ohba the man who had your parents killed?"
Touya's hands clenched at his sides. "Maybe. He certainly has much to gain if he takes over the Touya-gumi. But then, there are many others in the association I can say that for."
Hikaru stared down at his own hands. Then, quietly he said, "Touya, what do you do with your shipping and import contacts?"
There was a long, heavy silence. Finally, he heard the other man's strained voice. "I can't tell you. But I can promise, no drugs."
"...oh." Hikaru's voice sounded very small in the large, echoing penthouse suite.
He stood up from the armchair clumsily and hurriedly raised a hand when the other man made to move toward him. "Just- just got up too quickly...that's all." Even in the dark, he couldn't quite meet Touya's eyes. "I gotta go. Work will be just hell tomorrow." He tried to smile, gave up, and just blindly pushed his way to where he remembered the elevator to be. He fumbled for the elevator button.
There was a rustle of cloth and quick footsteps. From behind, an arm caught him hard about the shoulders. The brief, close press of Touya's chest against his back caught him by surprise. "I didn't intend this," Touya whispered close beside his ear. "My world - I didn't want you to know."
Hikaru felt himself trembling. The close contact with the other man's body made him feel intensely uncomfortable, like there was a stranger inside his skin wanting to claw out. He pushed out of the other man's grasp. "I gotta go," he mumbled.
Touya's voice stopped his hand on the elevator button.
"Shindo. Will you play professional go again?"
It was an important question. One Hikaru knew he should answer with a resounding yes. The life in his games had returned, and now there was no one else he was waiting to drag back with him into the world of professional go. "I - I don't know."
The elevator door pinged open just then, and Hikaru stumbled in. His last view as the door slid shut was the sight of Touya's silhouetted figure standing unnaturally still before the glittering backdrop of celebratory, downtown Tokyo.
That night when Hikaru got back to his apartment, he took out the dusty goban for the first time and laid down stone after stone from the games he had played with Sai all those long years ago. His memory of them was as clear and sharp as the day the ghost had disappeared from his life. In that tiny room, the sound of stone on wood continued until the sky turned gray with the light of that year's first morning.
But no matter how long he played, black never won.
* * *
Part 5
Index
Author: corbeaun
Fandom: Hikaru no Go
Disclaimer: Hikaru no Go belongs to Obata Takeshi and Hotta Yumi.
Winter
Part 4
* * *
He flipped the cell phone over and over again in his hand.
It had been one of the first things Touya gave him. At the time, he had protested loudly against any form of charity. But Touya had just given him this look that said he couldn't believe how stupid Hikaru was being. "And how, exactly," he'd snipped, "will I contact you without a phone?" An expensive cell phone service had been one of the first things Hikaru had decided he could do without when he'd moved out on his own. And the landline at his apartment was more often than not the last bill paid when his finances cut too close. And Hikaru's finances always cut too close.
Akari had taken to calling him at the ramen shop.
When Hikaru mentioned this and suggested Touya do the same thing, the other man had given him another look - this time, one Hikaru couldn't quite read - and Touya had replied curtly, "Security."
So here he was in bed, flipping over and over in his hand the cell phone that Touya had given him nearly a month ago, when he hadn't seen Touya himself in nearly two weeks. He didn't realize how insular he'd become until he found his evenings suddenly and inexplicably empty after Touya made his worrisome little ultimatum.
He couldn't meet up with Akari either, since she'd gone back to her college. And anyway, he'd promised he wouldn't bother her for a while.
Her confession was still a bit of a shock.
Hikaru sighed, and flopped back onto his futon, tossing the cell phone onto the floor beside him. The ceiling crack above him was a familiar and reassuring sight. He needed a bit of reassurance after the tumultuous events the last few days. It was as if suddenly he'd looked around and realized none of his friends were what they seemed. Take Akari for instance. He had thought they were just really good friends. Granted, sometimes, he thought of her as a nice, somewhat domineering younger sister who gave him food. But never did she hint that she harbored more than platonic feelings for him.
"Sheesh, Akari," he grumbled, "why'd you have to go and be such a girl." But then he immediately felt guilty.
Hikaru knew he was, for some reason, uncommonly oblivious to things like that. Usually, it took something quite brazen - something Yuki or a woman like her would do - to make him realize that someone was interested in him in that way. And he certainly didn't expect Akari to throw herself on him the way Yuki had the first time he met her.
But he had been as honest as he could when he told Akari he had never thought of her like that. In fact, Hikaru didn't think he'd thought of any girl like that, ever. There were always just too many other things going on in his life. The added burden of a girlfriend he didn't need. In fact, he thought bitchedly to himself, Touya Akira was equal to the burden of at least three different girlfriends.
He glared at the cell phone lying beside him, but it still resolutely refused to ring.
The past two weeks, Hikaru had left an untold number of messages on Touya's phone. Touya had, after the first few calls, simply taken to not answering. Hikaru was still refusing to consider going back as a go pro if Touya wasn't going to go back with him. Leaving him behind was out of the question.
But now, alone in his one-room apartment, without having faced Touya across the goban in weeks, Hikaru wondered if he was going at it the wrong way. He glanced at the windup clock and groaned at the realization it was only nine, and it was the night of New Year's Eve. He never went to bed that early before Touya messed with his life.
Hikaru wondered what Touya was doing.
Impulsively, he thumbed open the cell phone and pressed speed-dial one. To his happy surprise, the phone only rang once, then was picked up. He could hear music tinkling in the background.
"Touya? It's Shindo."
The voice from the speaker was overly cool. "Yes?"
"Look," he said quickly before the other man could hang up, "can we talk?"
The long, considering silence before Touya said anything made him nervous. Then Touya answered, "The car will be in front of your building in fifteen minutes." He cut the call before Hikaru could agree or disagree, leaving Hikaru staring down in disbelief at the cell phone in his hands.
"Geez, his manners sure got worse over the years," Hikaru muttered.
The car actually arrived five minutes early. Hikaru had barely finished pulling on a jacket when a heavy pounding sounded through the front door, rattling the foyer walls. Irritated, Hikaru wrenched open the door. "What the hell, Touya -" He cut himself off. Standing at the entrance was a hulking figure of man he had never seen before.
"The boss sent me," the man said gruffly.
Hikaru swallowed. "Oh, you mean..."
The man grunted curtly and raised his left hand. The pinky was missing a segment.
Hikaru tried hard not to stare at this traditional yakuza self-mutilation. "Right."
The car waiting outside on the curb was the same one Touya had driven. It made Hikaru feel a little more comfortable seeing it. However, the driver Touya had sent pointedly opened the backdoor instead of the customary passenger side that Hikaru had grown accustomed to; Hikaru obediently got in.
As the unfamiliar roads flashed past in the window, however, Hikaru became increasingly uneasy. "Um, excuse me," he raised his voice, "aren't we going to the Kagurazuka district?"
The man driving the car only grunted a negative.
Hikaru tried again. "Where are we going?"
The grunt this time sounded aggravated. "To the boss's," was all he got.
Hikaru settled back on the seat, resolved not to irritate the man any further. He looked like he ate people like Hikaru for breakfast; and while Touya might object after the matter, Hikaru didn't think it would help him. Then he began to wonder if this was indeed the car Touya had said he would send for him: It had been five minutes early, and he hadn't had a good look at the car in the night gloom. So far the familiar, crowded, festive-lit streets of downtown Tokyo were flashing past his window, but what if they drove straight on to some empty, cement back lot... Hikaru gripped Touya's cell phone in his hands.
Just as his wonderings became increasingly paranoid, the car pulled up in front of the glittering façade of the Tokyo Ritz-Carlton.
The hotel doorman looked surprised to see Hikaru step out of the Mercedes, but then quickly smoothed his face into a bland expression of welcome. Hikaru stopped uncertainly before him. He would have tried to ask Touya's hulk of a driver, but the car had pealed off in the direction of the parking lot. There had been a brief scuffle - resolved nonviolently, thank god - when the valet had tried to take the car keys from the man. Now Hikaru stood alone before the entrance of the grand hotel.
"Hey, mister," Hikaru greeted the doorman, "Can you tell me where to find Touya? Touya Akira." He raised his hand to the level of his head. "About this tall, strange hair-cut, likes to wear suits with odd colored ties."
The doorman had looked blandly at him throughout this short recitation. When Hikaru finished, he said nothing and waved a hand inside, toward the hotel entrance. Hikaru stared at the revolving door, then back at the doorman. "The front desk." He had the strangest feeling he was being snubbed. The doorman bowed politely. "Right. Thanks, man."
When he pushed past the revolving door and walked down the large, glittering hotel lobby, an elegantly dressed woman stepped out from a nearby lounge. "Shindo Hikaru?" she asked, the tone of her voice clearly stated that the question was mere courtesy.
Hikaru stopped and looked at her curiously. "Yeah, that's me," he replied. "Where's Touya?"
She smiled, her carefully glossed lips parting to reveal small, white teeth. "The gentlemen are waiting in the private room. Please follow me."
The private "room" turned out to be a small ballroom, easily twenty times the size of Hikaru's small one-room apartment. Hikaru couldn't help but stare at the enormous crystal chandelier dripping with strands of faceted teardrops from the middle of the vaulted ceiling. He almost missed how the black-suited guards blocked the double doors behind him. Blinking back the dazzling brilliance of the lights, Hikaru slowly realized that the ballroom was filled with tall, gorgeous women in suspiciously skimpy gowns. There were a few comfortable-looking, middle-aged men circulating like great, dark predators through the shoal of brightly colored women. He didn't see Touya anywhere.
The same woman who had led him inside interrupted his uncomfortable regard of the barred exit. "Excuse me, Shindo-san, this way please."
She led him further in, this time into a side room that was actually small enough to be called such. He spotted the back of Touya immediately. Hikaru would have called out to him, unbelievably relieved to find a familiar face, but then abruptly caught the brittle tension of the other man's spine. The exuberant greeting died in his mouth. When Touya turned to face him, Hikaru knew he had been right to wait.
"Hello, Shindo," Touya greeted him politely, sounding to all the world as if they were the barest of acquaintances. "I'm glad you could join us tonight."
Hikaru smiled weakly. "Hey to you too."
The large, balding man that Touya had been talking snapped shut the fan he was holding and also turned to Hikaru. He raised an eyebrow at the sight of Hikaru's dirty, well-worn jeans and sneakers. Hikaru fidgeted under the man's small, beady gaze, only then realizing he might be slightly underdressed for the surroundings.
The man fingered the folded length of his fan thoughtfully. He was, Hikaru saw, missing the top two segments of his pinky. "You going to skin this one, or toss him back, eh, Akira-kun?"
'Akira-kun' smiled coolly. "Always a joker, Ohba-san. No, this is my choice for the game tonight."
Hikaru began to feel his palms clam up with sweat. He didn't like the sound of whatever Touya was volunteering him for, but he suspected speaking up now would be the most idiotic thing to do. Not the least, he was sure Touya would never speak to him again if he did.
Ohba grinned widely, as if he could read Hikaru's anxiety. "Very well. I accept your choice." He waved his fan toward the center table, which Hikaru just realized held a go board. "Shall we?"
Touya bowed in assent. The large man and a few black-suited men proceeded to the seats surrounding the go board. Hikaru hung back with Touya.
"H-hey," Hikaru tugged at Touya's sleeve, "what am I doing?"
Touya turned at Hikaru's strained whisper. He gazed at him calmly. "Just win, Shindo." And then he turned sharply and joined the spectators around the table.
Left behind, Hikaru sputtered in silent outrage. At that moment, there was a slight commotion at the door. The large man, Ohba, jovially called out from his seat, "Ah, Gokiso-sensei. You're finally here."
A tiny man shuffled in and bowed servilely from just inside the doorway. "Oh-Ohba-san," he stammered.
It took Hikaru a long minute to recognize the man. When it hit him, he stared incredulously at this tiny figure of a man. He had only gotten grayer and more shriveled up with the years. The last time Hikaru had seen him, Sai had utterly dominated and humiliated him at an amateur go festival.
"You!" Hikaru shouted, pointing at the go pro who had tried to fake a Shusaku goban.
The tiny man looked startled. "Do we...know each other?" he asked hesitantly.
The sudden cessation of noise in the room made Hikaru suddenly remember where he was - and who he was among. The stares from all the hard-eyed men in the room made the hairs on the nape of his neck stiffen. Hikaru shook his head mutely.
"If the previously discussed terms are satisfactory," Touya interjected smoothly, addressing only Ohba who was seated beside him, "we should begin the match."
Ohba gave a short, satisfied nod. The look he gave Touya over the edge of his languidly waving fan was cold and missed nothing. "Of course," he said, "the loser takes all."
"Of course," Touya murmured.
The tiny man, Gokiso, had shuffled over to the head of the go board. After hesitating for a moment, Hikaru followed slowly and sat down opposite him at the table. He tried to look to Touya for what he should do next, but the other man only had that infuriatingly polite smile on his face. Ohba with the small, cold eyes smiled languidly at him from behind his fan.
Seeing Hikaru keep glancing to him, Touya only said, "Do your best, please. I trust your go."
Ohba chuckled nastily on overhearing that comment. "And I, Akira-kun," he grinned, "trust Gokiso-sensei's 7-dan."
Touya returned the smile politely but Hikaru could see how the corners of his eyes tightened. He wondered if Touya was worried about him not beating the old man. Sheesh, Hikaru thought to himself, feeling a bit offended. Sai had wiped the goban with this guy with one hand tied behind his back in that come-from-behind game years ago; the least Hikaru could do was beat him bloody in an even match. He paused. This was an even match, right?
As Hikaru bowed to the ceremonial greeting before the game start, he decided it didn't matter. Handicap or not, he was going to dominate the board and give the old pro no choice but to resign. He found he liked the sound of that plan very much. Yoshi! Hikaru cheered on himself silently.
But it turned out that the game wasn't half as exciting as the most causal game he'd played with Touya.
In the space of half an hour, he'd staked out the most important points on the board, strengthened his territory, and encompassed Gokiso's all in one swoop. Hikaru kept waiting to hear the old pro acknowledge his defeat - Hikaru could see clearly that his advantage wasn't going to change however the other man played. But for some strange reason, Gokiso was playing long past the polite point of resignation. Gokiso's white stones kept clicking persistently on the go board. Hikaru frowned, and looked up to see Touya had noticed this as well. Touya had a bland, non-expression on his face as he turned to Ohba, who was seated beside him.
Ohba looked murderous.
Meanwhile, Gokiso persistently placed one losing stone after another, hands shaking. He was, Hikaru suddenly realized, afraid to stop.
"Will you concede the match, Ohba?" Touya murmured.
The large man exploded from his seat. "Enough!" he shouted, his fan sweeping across the go board, scattering stones all over the floor.
The sudden explosion of noise caused several men around Touya to tense and reach inside their suit jacket. The men around Ohba tensed as well. For a moment, there was a strained standoff. Hikaru tried hard not to breathe.
Touya remained seated quietly, a still center of calm in the room. "Do we have an agreement then?" he said evenly.
Ohba glared into Touya's straight, clear eyes. "Yeah," he ground out after a long, strained silence, "we do."
Then he and his men swept out of the room in a dark, angry flurry.
As the last of Ohba's men stalked out the door, Touya glanced at the old washed-up go pro that had been left behind. Gokiso 7-dan was still cowering on the floor beside his chair, not moving from where he'd fallen when Ohba swept free the go board.
"Make yourself scarce in Tokyo for a few months," Touya advised him not unkindly. "Ohba doesn't like to lose."
The old man nodded his head feebly. "Y-yes," he stuttered.
But Touya didn't acknowledge him, like he'd already dismissed the old pro from his mind. He nodded a dismissal at the men remaining in the room, and the rest of the black-suited men slipped out. Then Touya stood up from the plush seat and brushed off the creases on his pants. He smoothly straightened his necktie. From something like a daze, Hikaru noticed that he was wearing that funny, bee-striped tie. That brief piece of familiarity snapped Hikaru back to the ordinary, moving world.
"...Touya," Hikaru said slowly, "what -"
A sharp hand motion cut him off. "Not here," he said, and strode out the room. Hikaru had to hurry to catch up.
Outside was the same glittering, colorful, phony world that Hikaru remembered. The women were smiling just a little wider, laughing just a bit too loud. Most had latched onto the arms of one of those comfortable-looking old men. Hikaru glanced down at his wristwatch; it was only an hour to midnight. A waiter passed with a tray of champagne flutes, and Hikaru shooed him away quickly, but not before Touya managed to snag a glass for himself. Ohba was nowhere in sight.
"He probably left by the side door...Loss of face, you see," Touya murmured, correctly interpreting Hikaru's looking around the room.
Hikaru frowned at the nonchalantly champagne-sipping man standing beside him. "About him," he began, "what exactly -"
But Touya shushed him again, this time with a hand on his mouth. Hikaru blinked at the warm, dry brush of skin against his lips. This close, he couldn't help but notice the thick, dark fall of eyelashes lying against Touya's cheek. He felt slightly flushed beneath Touya's half-lidded gaze.
"Not here," Touya repeated, uncomfortably close in his ear. He felt the weight of Touya's hand press down upon his arm. Then Touya turned and began striding to the exit, and Hikaru had to hurriedly follow.
As they detoured around the center of the ballroom where a few couples were swaying idly to music, some women made to approach him and Touya. But as soon as they drew close, their eyes fastened to the lapels of Touya's jacket, and, without making eye contact, quickly backed away. Hikaru looked too, but saw nothing but a small, golden pin in the shape of a sunburst. Hikaru shrugged to himself warily. It was just another strange thing in a long night of oddities.
More important-looking men were streaming through the door as he and Touya exited the ballroom. He caught each of them slipping long, elaborately wrapped envelopes onto a large, ornate table just past the double doors, which he'd somehow missed seeing when the woman had first ushered him in.
"Don't stare," Touya said quietly as they neared the table, "it's impolite."
Hikaru tried hard not to, especially when he thought he saw an eminently famous face pass by. "Is that the," he croaked, but couldn't get the rest of the words, 'prime minister,' out.
Touya didn't even look. "Most likely," he replied. "Try not to judge, Shindo, we all have our secrets."
By now Hikaru had realized that the party was just a polite pretense to extort money from the political and industrial giants of the nation. The tall, gorgeous and scantily clad women crowding the ballroom were probably supposed to encourage the blackmailed men into parting with even more money. From what little Hikaru had seen, the men being blackmailed seemed perfectly ready to do so.
As soon as he followed Touya back to the hotel lobby, Hikaru felt himself breathe a sigh of relief. Ostentatious as the lobby of the Tokyo Ritz was, it was still a degree more palatable than the drunken lechery sponsored by the yakuza.
"Where are you taking us, Touya?"
"A private suite. We can talk there." Saying so, he approached a small, elegant side-elevator and slid a gold card into the slot. The burnished brass doors of the elevator swooshed open with the tinkle of a bell. Touya stepped inside and looked at him impatiently when Hikaru didn't immediately follow. The doors of the elevators closed smoothly behind Hikaru, nearly catching him by the shirttails.
"Can we talk now?" Hikaru asked a little snippily, as the elevator moved up. Touya was showing an unfortunate flair for dramatics that night.
"Just wait."
The elevator ride did not last long, which was fortunate for Hikaru's state of mind, and soon the doors slid open to an impressive view of the glittering Tokyo skyline at night. In the distance, Tokyo Tower was lit with a warm, orange glow. At any other time, Hikaru would have gaped at this display, but at that point he had had enough of the show of affluence Touya had been presenting to him through the entire, wretched evening. He stormed out of the elevator before the other man, and then whirled on him just as the elevator slid shut behind him.
"Touya!" he jabbed a finger at him, "You owe me an explanation! What the hell was that back there?" He threw up his arms in angry bewilderment, miming the explosion of go stones when Ohba had acknowledged his loss.
Touya faced him evenly. "If you lost, I would have had to ferry five tons of cocaine into Nagasaki."
Hikaru could only stare, stupefied.
The other man continued on, apparently taking the silence as a demand for further elaboration. "Ohba wanted to use my shipping and import control contacts to expand his drug business," he explained. "He's been mostly doing petty dealings of shabu - that's methamphetamine - on the Tokyo streets. But shabu is sold pure. Not much profit to be earned." Hikaru only stared; he felt the top of his head want to explode. The other man didn't seem to notice. "Now, coke - that can be cut." Touya's voice was remarkably matter-of-fact as he talked. "His plan would have put two-thirds of the yuppies and clubbing crowd on a coke addiction."
Hikaru finally found his voice. "Are you insane?" he exploded. "How can you just leave that to me?"
Even in the dimness, he could see Touya looked annoyed. "But this was the quickest way to accomplish what I needed. And I'm not yet risking open warfare with Ohba's faction."
"And you left it all to me. Touya!" He waved his arms. "Why didn't you handle it yourself?"
"Protocol, Shindo. He provided an unknown opponent, and I had to do the same. Protocol," he emphasized, "stopped us from settling the matter more...violently." He paused, then added, "That and the man's love for a good bet. He was, after all, just a lowly bakuto originally - a gambler."
Hikaru collapsed back onto a richly upholstered armchair. "But it's finished, right?" he asked tiredly. Touya didn't answer. "Touya?"
"This time," the other man finally, quietly agreed.
The sudden explosion of fireworks from outside the tall windows barely illuminated the tired set of Touya's mouth. Hikaru couldn't remember a time the other man had looked so listless before him. Whenever Touya had faced him before, especially back when they first met as boys, the intense light in his eyes had always made Hikaru feel as if he was hearing the bugle call to war. It had made him want to run and fight for...something. Now Touya's eyes only made him feel weary and wistful.
"Do you see now," the man asked in a soft voice. "This," he spread his hands out before him, encompassing the large, dark room and the entire Tokyo skyline before him; rainbow bursts of fireworks lit the night, "this is why I can't go back to professional go."
Hikaru didn't know what to say.
He had called Touya on the phone, somehow intending to persuade the other man to go back with him to the world of professional go. But the events of the past few hours had put into stark perspective all that Touya could lose by doing so. And both he and the tired man standing in front of him knew they were not talking about the loss of a penthouse suite with a view at the Ritz.
"Was he...?" Hikaru didn't quite know how to ask, "Was Ohba the man who had your parents killed?"
Touya's hands clenched at his sides. "Maybe. He certainly has much to gain if he takes over the Touya-gumi. But then, there are many others in the association I can say that for."
Hikaru stared down at his own hands. Then, quietly he said, "Touya, what do you do with your shipping and import contacts?"
There was a long, heavy silence. Finally, he heard the other man's strained voice. "I can't tell you. But I can promise, no drugs."
"...oh." Hikaru's voice sounded very small in the large, echoing penthouse suite.
He stood up from the armchair clumsily and hurriedly raised a hand when the other man made to move toward him. "Just- just got up too quickly...that's all." Even in the dark, he couldn't quite meet Touya's eyes. "I gotta go. Work will be just hell tomorrow." He tried to smile, gave up, and just blindly pushed his way to where he remembered the elevator to be. He fumbled for the elevator button.
There was a rustle of cloth and quick footsteps. From behind, an arm caught him hard about the shoulders. The brief, close press of Touya's chest against his back caught him by surprise. "I didn't intend this," Touya whispered close beside his ear. "My world - I didn't want you to know."
Hikaru felt himself trembling. The close contact with the other man's body made him feel intensely uncomfortable, like there was a stranger inside his skin wanting to claw out. He pushed out of the other man's grasp. "I gotta go," he mumbled.
Touya's voice stopped his hand on the elevator button.
"Shindo. Will you play professional go again?"
It was an important question. One Hikaru knew he should answer with a resounding yes. The life in his games had returned, and now there was no one else he was waiting to drag back with him into the world of professional go. "I - I don't know."
The elevator door pinged open just then, and Hikaru stumbled in. His last view as the door slid shut was the sight of Touya's silhouetted figure standing unnaturally still before the glittering backdrop of celebratory, downtown Tokyo.
That night when Hikaru got back to his apartment, he took out the dusty goban for the first time and laid down stone after stone from the games he had played with Sai all those long years ago. His memory of them was as clear and sharp as the day the ghost had disappeared from his life. In that tiny room, the sound of stone on wood continued until the sky turned gray with the light of that year's first morning.
But no matter how long he played, black never won.
* * *
Part 5
Index