This is me, who are you?
I know I should get over it and maybe I'm moving more toward feel comfortable and happy with the person I am sepearate and apart from my family and they have always been so supportive but I can't help it; they are all incredibly brilliant and smart.
For once I wanted to find my thing, he thing that I found out I was brilliant at or at least really got at. My dad is brilliant; he applies his brain in a magnificent way. My brother is just damn smart and charming. My Mom is smart in a way many people aren't and brilliant though she may not realize it in that she is one of the most magnetic people in the world. And I am the baby. It felt about time to careve in my niche to do just as well as them reach that next academic level. And the past few days I haven't been all so certain I could do it.
But as usual, I am scrapping by. I am barely at that level that confirms you're smart enough to be considered--as long as you bring a lot else to the table,
The problem is, I've never been so certain that I actually do a good job at anything other then school. I wasn't sure my package is good enough for those to look past the fact that I've never tested well.
In the end, I've come to accept, OK fine. I'm just never going to test incredibly well. At least I tried and now I have a stable score.
I got a call where my brother and I went over my qualifications and he said this "you're going to get into a good school in California, so don't stress about that. Know that you've studied the hardest you can for the test and go in confidently, want to take the test. I'm proud of you"
And that's exactly what I needed for right now.
I felt like earlier this week i finally learned how to study for the test, like perhaps if I had a few more weeks I COULD get a better score. But I might not. I felt like I just had to accept the score I am getting, accept that I'm not getting a great score but a solid one. For today, however, for the first time I don't just feel resigned to accept the score but I am content with it. I am content because THIS is me. I'm not a brilliant test taker and even if I had to work my ass off to just get a mediocre score, I am a fighter. I tried, and there is MORE to me than just a test score. And I'll work damn hard to have that come across in my law school app. And just for my own life satisfaction I'll keep working hard at growing as a person, being a good friend, sister and daughter. This is me, I worked to my fullest ability and I can get a 158 or 160 on the lsat and I am content because I tried my hardest, I gave it my all.
Phew. I finally feel at peace with it.....and next saturday I'll bring it. Then go out to the bars, drink sex and the beach, red headed sluts and take funny pictures.
Next update will be about my dc trip.
K NOW BACK to studying! ;)
For once I wanted to find my thing, he thing that I found out I was brilliant at or at least really got at. My dad is brilliant; he applies his brain in a magnificent way. My brother is just damn smart and charming. My Mom is smart in a way many people aren't and brilliant though she may not realize it in that she is one of the most magnetic people in the world. And I am the baby. It felt about time to careve in my niche to do just as well as them reach that next academic level. And the past few days I haven't been all so certain I could do it.
But as usual, I am scrapping by. I am barely at that level that confirms you're smart enough to be considered--as long as you bring a lot else to the table,
The problem is, I've never been so certain that I actually do a good job at anything other then school. I wasn't sure my package is good enough for those to look past the fact that I've never tested well.
In the end, I've come to accept, OK fine. I'm just never going to test incredibly well. At least I tried and now I have a stable score.
I got a call where my brother and I went over my qualifications and he said this "you're going to get into a good school in California, so don't stress about that. Know that you've studied the hardest you can for the test and go in confidently, want to take the test. I'm proud of you"
And that's exactly what I needed for right now.
I felt like earlier this week i finally learned how to study for the test, like perhaps if I had a few more weeks I COULD get a better score. But I might not. I felt like I just had to accept the score I am getting, accept that I'm not getting a great score but a solid one. For today, however, for the first time I don't just feel resigned to accept the score but I am content with it. I am content because THIS is me. I'm not a brilliant test taker and even if I had to work my ass off to just get a mediocre score, I am a fighter. I tried, and there is MORE to me than just a test score. And I'll work damn hard to have that come across in my law school app. And just for my own life satisfaction I'll keep working hard at growing as a person, being a good friend, sister and daughter. This is me, I worked to my fullest ability and I can get a 158 or 160 on the lsat and I am content because I tried my hardest, I gave it my all.
Phew. I finally feel at peace with it.....and next saturday I'll bring it. Then go out to the bars, drink sex and the beach, red headed sluts and take funny pictures.
Next update will be about my dc trip.
K NOW BACK to studying! ;)