Day 21: Why I shouldn't have had mexican for lunch and dinner
Er... I mean ... Day 21: Playing with Integrity
Oh man, is this a firestorm of a topic for me. Sigh.
Anyway..
"I know my God, that you test the heart and are pleased with integrity." - 1Chronicles 29:17
What is integrity? It is being the same person, no matter who you are with- having the same ethics and manners no matter if you are in a crowd, at work, at church, or at home alone.
When I think of integrity- I think of high school. The main reason high school is so painful for many teenagers is that they truly haven't discovered what integrity is yet. I remember that feeling. If I was with the "popular" kids, I wanted to act popular too. If someone was making fun of another- I went along with it because I wanted that sense of belonging- of wholeness. Man was I wrong. Now, I was smart enough never to do anything really stupid- I didn't do drugs, didn't get into trouble. But trust me, I have done many things in my life "to fit in" and feel like I was whole or belonged with someone- man those are some bony skeletons in my closet.
Integrity is wholeness. I know that when I act a certian way depending on whom I am with- all I feel is disjointed, second guessing myself and my actions. To be the same person, with the same opinions, and the same willingness (or unwillingness) to take part in certain actions is what integrity is. Although we can try, we will never reach that wholeness on our own. Peer pressure is too great and how others percieve us can sometimes be a large burden. But when we lean on the One who is always constant- then we have a source to refer back to in times when we are unsure of ourselves and our situations.
For those of you who commented on my last post- I have been praying for you. How are things going for you?