exit music
i remember my heart sinking when my therapist suggested that it seemed as if i had been depressed for a long time, and that i continue to seek therapy after graduating and moving to los angeles. it wasn't something about myself that i wanted to hear. but after taking the time to distance myself from school, set my own schedule, and settle into los angeles, i have felt so, so, so much better than i have felt in the past semester. which makes me wonder: was my depression seasonally affected? did it have something to do with being cooped up in a small town with a bunch of white, upper-class pseudo-intellectuals? did it have something to do with working relentlessly, tirelessly until it exhausted every bone in my body, while at the same time questioning why i was doing everything? i don't feel any of those pressures here. this city is endless. i'm really enjoying not being around white people. it feels good to make art without an academic agenda. i knew there was a reason i moved here.