Unintended *2*
*2*
It has been days- no- weeks since I last saw her. Occasionally she would text or ring me up but I always managed to stop myself before establishing any form of contact with her again. This is for your own good, I always said to myself, justifying my actions in a way that I could take control over my own self- my own heart.
It was hard coming into terms with what’s really happening. I wasn’t aware I was turning a blind eye towards reality, until I took this time to not see her and contemplate things by myself.
That is how I ended up in a spring resort somewhere south of Seoul with my cronies tagging along, not letting the opportunity of getting a vacation pass under their noses.
For me, it was more like; we won’t let you have your peace Kwon Yuri, why do you think we’re your friends?
As I was lifting the cup of hot coffee slowly up to my lips, the said devils appeared with unmistakable grins on their faces.
“Let me guess, there are tons of chicks innocently relaxing in the hot springs moments ago while you molested them with your perverted gazes.” I’ve known my friends for too long I can never be wrong.
“Wrong, unnie, wrong!”
Yoona lifted her arms in front of her to form an ex and violently state otherwise.
“Correction: There are A LOT of GIFTED chicks outside actually WILLING to flirt with us! Right, right?!” Taeyeon sought the approval of my two other friends with her excited eyes and without dissonance, they ended up high fiving each other while laughing heartily.
Perverts.
I shook my head as I questioned myself how I got to be best friends with them, must be because our parents were friends first, hence, my being stuck with them. I was about to question Yoona and Taeyeon how they managed to make their girlfriends agree not to come along, given the fact that Seohyun might have been delighted to hear about hot springs with its health benefits and Tiffany being just a plain hanger-on when--
“Hey, you okay buddy? You seem disturbed.” Someone finally noticed. It was Sooyoung. The other two were just too happy being free (a.k.a acting single) to even comment on the growing bags under my eyes.
I smiled at her, albeit a little forced, as I shook my head. I was troubled. Now I think I’m way past that stage.
“Is this about Hyomin unnie?” Yoona, catching up, inquired with sincerity scribbled all over her face. Now I am reminded why I’m stuck with them; they’re the most genuine people you could ever meet, despite being perverts (well, that’s largely just Taeyeon before she managed to influence our maknae).
I wanted to say yes, she’s part of it, but that would lead to more questions and more questions mean I’d have to tell them what’s really been bothering me. It’s a secret only I and she know; a secret that I’ve been hiding even to my girlfriend, Hyomin, for months now.
“It’s okay Yoong.” Again, I smiled, hiding the tautness of my thinned lips behind the cup of coffee.
“You can always tell us, you know?” Taeyeon said with an unimposing tone, something akin to a mother’s reminding her 20- year old child she’d always be there for him.
“I know.” I fully looked at the three of them, thankful for their concern, yet also guilty, for I have already come up with a decision, and them knowing about my problem might alter it in any way.
I’m gonna follow my heart. For once.
They might start coup d'état once they knew, but they would never understand. They are not me, they don’t know my situation, they don’t know what I’m feeling. I could only console myself by thinking that they’d do the same if they were in my shoes.
“Are you breaking up with her?” Sooyoung more likely stated than questioned. I was out of words in shock, for her to be able to conclude a thing like that was beyond me. It was as if she knew my troubles all along. Or wait, she can’t read minds, can she?
My apparent shock was manifested by the liquid spilling out of the cup I was holding. I didn’t know my hands were shaking that bad until I felt a scalding feel on my lap.
“F*ck!” I immediately stood up to fan my thigh. It was so damn awful that I momentarily forgot the three in front of me gaining a clue to what my deep thoughts are.
“You are breaking up with her.” It was indeed stated this time by Taeyeon. No hint of doubt or second guessing, it was somewhat firm.
I looked at them again as I proceeded to sit again after the pain has gone down.
However, I continued keeping mum, not giving them what they want; a lengthy explanation.
After what seemed to be a million years of silence, Yoona, pressured by the obtruding glares of her other unnies, finally asked, “Why?”
If there was one thing I am scared of, it was them questioning my decision. They’ve been my family ever since I got thrown to Korea by my parents, saying “You need to embrace your roots, Yuri”, something shitty along that line.
Them cronies might not know my situation or feelings, but, I am most certainly sure they only want what’s best for me. If they oppose, it would only mean that there’s something wrong I am not seeing, that I have miscalculated things, or worse, I’ve been biased all along, discarding facts I don’t like. BUT, it could also mean the other way around, although that has never happened. At least, not yet the entire time I’ve been friends with them. There’s still a 0.000001 % possibility I’m right all along.
When I looked at them again, their eyes were expectant, as if anticipating a grand speech that would save them sleepless nights.
“So?” Taeyeon started impatiently. I swear I saw Sooyoung nudge her on the ribs because of that.
I took in half the oxygen in the café, at least that’s how I felt, before starting off.
“Guys, I know-“
“Excuse me, are you the one who got spilled on with coffee?”
The question had a tone screaming of STUPIDITY as if asking “Are you the one who spilt coffee on herself?” but the smoothness laced in that voice more than compensated for the harshness of what was said.
Wait. I know that voice.
As I looked up, an angelic smiling face welcomed me. That is, if she was really smiling and not smirking. If only Taeyeon, Sooyoung and Yoona knew, the answer already presented itself in front of them before I could even speak.
It was Jessica. It had always been Jessica.
---
So i hope I was able to clear some things up? If there're still questions, I'd be more than glad to answer them :-) Just comment with your questions below.
It has been days- no- weeks since I last saw her. Occasionally she would text or ring me up but I always managed to stop myself before establishing any form of contact with her again. This is for your own good, I always said to myself, justifying my actions in a way that I could take control over my own self- my own heart.
It was hard coming into terms with what’s really happening. I wasn’t aware I was turning a blind eye towards reality, until I took this time to not see her and contemplate things by myself.
That is how I ended up in a spring resort somewhere south of Seoul with my cronies tagging along, not letting the opportunity of getting a vacation pass under their noses.
For me, it was more like; we won’t let you have your peace Kwon Yuri, why do you think we’re your friends?
As I was lifting the cup of hot coffee slowly up to my lips, the said devils appeared with unmistakable grins on their faces.
“Let me guess, there are tons of chicks innocently relaxing in the hot springs moments ago while you molested them with your perverted gazes.” I’ve known my friends for too long I can never be wrong.
“Wrong, unnie, wrong!”
Yoona lifted her arms in front of her to form an ex and violently state otherwise.
“Correction: There are A LOT of GIFTED chicks outside actually WILLING to flirt with us! Right, right?!” Taeyeon sought the approval of my two other friends with her excited eyes and without dissonance, they ended up high fiving each other while laughing heartily.
Perverts.
I shook my head as I questioned myself how I got to be best friends with them, must be because our parents were friends first, hence, my being stuck with them. I was about to question Yoona and Taeyeon how they managed to make their girlfriends agree not to come along, given the fact that Seohyun might have been delighted to hear about hot springs with its health benefits and Tiffany being just a plain hanger-on when--
“Hey, you okay buddy? You seem disturbed.” Someone finally noticed. It was Sooyoung. The other two were just too happy being free (a.k.a acting single) to even comment on the growing bags under my eyes.
I smiled at her, albeit a little forced, as I shook my head. I was troubled. Now I think I’m way past that stage.
“Is this about Hyomin unnie?” Yoona, catching up, inquired with sincerity scribbled all over her face. Now I am reminded why I’m stuck with them; they’re the most genuine people you could ever meet, despite being perverts (well, that’s largely just Taeyeon before she managed to influence our maknae).
I wanted to say yes, she’s part of it, but that would lead to more questions and more questions mean I’d have to tell them what’s really been bothering me. It’s a secret only I and she know; a secret that I’ve been hiding even to my girlfriend, Hyomin, for months now.
“It’s okay Yoong.” Again, I smiled, hiding the tautness of my thinned lips behind the cup of coffee.
“You can always tell us, you know?” Taeyeon said with an unimposing tone, something akin to a mother’s reminding her 20- year old child she’d always be there for him.
“I know.” I fully looked at the three of them, thankful for their concern, yet also guilty, for I have already come up with a decision, and them knowing about my problem might alter it in any way.
I’m gonna follow my heart. For once.
They might start coup d'état once they knew, but they would never understand. They are not me, they don’t know my situation, they don’t know what I’m feeling. I could only console myself by thinking that they’d do the same if they were in my shoes.
“Are you breaking up with her?” Sooyoung more likely stated than questioned. I was out of words in shock, for her to be able to conclude a thing like that was beyond me. It was as if she knew my troubles all along. Or wait, she can’t read minds, can she?
My apparent shock was manifested by the liquid spilling out of the cup I was holding. I didn’t know my hands were shaking that bad until I felt a scalding feel on my lap.
“F*ck!” I immediately stood up to fan my thigh. It was so damn awful that I momentarily forgot the three in front of me gaining a clue to what my deep thoughts are.
“You are breaking up with her.” It was indeed stated this time by Taeyeon. No hint of doubt or second guessing, it was somewhat firm.
I looked at them again as I proceeded to sit again after the pain has gone down.
However, I continued keeping mum, not giving them what they want; a lengthy explanation.
After what seemed to be a million years of silence, Yoona, pressured by the obtruding glares of her other unnies, finally asked, “Why?”
If there was one thing I am scared of, it was them questioning my decision. They’ve been my family ever since I got thrown to Korea by my parents, saying “You need to embrace your roots, Yuri”, something shitty along that line.
Them cronies might not know my situation or feelings, but, I am most certainly sure they only want what’s best for me. If they oppose, it would only mean that there’s something wrong I am not seeing, that I have miscalculated things, or worse, I’ve been biased all along, discarding facts I don’t like. BUT, it could also mean the other way around, although that has never happened. At least, not yet the entire time I’ve been friends with them. There’s still a 0.000001 % possibility I’m right all along.
When I looked at them again, their eyes were expectant, as if anticipating a grand speech that would save them sleepless nights.
“So?” Taeyeon started impatiently. I swear I saw Sooyoung nudge her on the ribs because of that.
I took in half the oxygen in the café, at least that’s how I felt, before starting off.
“Guys, I know-“
“Excuse me, are you the one who got spilled on with coffee?”
The question had a tone screaming of STUPIDITY as if asking “Are you the one who spilt coffee on herself?” but the smoothness laced in that voice more than compensated for the harshness of what was said.
Wait. I know that voice.
As I looked up, an angelic smiling face welcomed me. That is, if she was really smiling and not smirking. If only Taeyeon, Sooyoung and Yoona knew, the answer already presented itself in front of them before I could even speak.
It was Jessica. It had always been Jessica.
---
So i hope I was able to clear some things up? If there're still questions, I'd be more than glad to answer them :-) Just comment with your questions below.