So, I borrowed my dad's truck yesterday...
...to pick up my new 4-harness, 22" floor loom, which was GIFTED TO ME. For those of you who are unfamiliar with looms (...), floor looms generally cost at least one $1,000. Which, last time I checked, is $930 more than the cost of lunch for me and the gifter, as well as gas to get to Dover, NH. Which leads me to my new revelation: HOLY MOTHER I HATE DRIVING A BIG TRUCK. Here, for you consideration, is an itemized list of the horrible things that happened to me whilst driving the truck yesterday:
- I ran over a turtle (although, I suppose technically, this happened to the turtle, not me). Had I been in my own tiny car, I'm sure I would have been at the correct vantage point to tell that what I was about to hit was a turtle and not a piece of unidentifiable junk, and also would have had the braking power to stop before I heard its horrifying death-crunch.
- I spent FIFTY FUCKING DOLLARS on gas.
- The windshield had become almost completely obscured with bug guts over the course of the day, so I stopped at a gas station, not to get gas for the fourth time (!), but to wash the windshield. Of course, I stand at around 5'2", so I had to hop up on the front tires to reach the middle. So I'm hopping up on the tire, and off pops the bottom button of my dress. Now, mind you, by "bottom button," I am reffering to what was presently the bottom button on the dress. I had gotten the dress at the Salvy's, and was already missing its rightful bottom button. So anyway, I popped the second button up, which would have been no big deal for a seamstress extraordinaire like myself, except that the button disappeared into thin air. I looked everywhere for that damn button; I even moved the truck to the next pump so i could have a better look at the ground underneath. GONE. So not only did I have to go to class looking like a freaking hoochie, but now I have to replace all the buttons on the dress, unless I can find the same ones. You know, it's a tough life.
So, in conclusion, I am never driving a truck again. Unless someone gives me a bigger loom.
- I ran over a turtle (although, I suppose technically, this happened to the turtle, not me). Had I been in my own tiny car, I'm sure I would have been at the correct vantage point to tell that what I was about to hit was a turtle and not a piece of unidentifiable junk, and also would have had the braking power to stop before I heard its horrifying death-crunch.
- I spent FIFTY FUCKING DOLLARS on gas.
- The windshield had become almost completely obscured with bug guts over the course of the day, so I stopped at a gas station, not to get gas for the fourth time (!), but to wash the windshield. Of course, I stand at around 5'2", so I had to hop up on the front tires to reach the middle. So I'm hopping up on the tire, and off pops the bottom button of my dress. Now, mind you, by "bottom button," I am reffering to what was presently the bottom button on the dress. I had gotten the dress at the Salvy's, and was already missing its rightful bottom button. So anyway, I popped the second button up, which would have been no big deal for a seamstress extraordinaire like myself, except that the button disappeared into thin air. I looked everywhere for that damn button; I even moved the truck to the next pump so i could have a better look at the ground underneath. GONE. So not only did I have to go to class looking like a freaking hoochie, but now I have to replace all the buttons on the dress, unless I can find the same ones. You know, it's a tough life.
So, in conclusion, I am never driving a truck again. Unless someone gives me a bigger loom.