Miss you, miss me
My friend gave me the Season 5 DVD yesterday, not that excited because I've watched them on my computer time and time again. But yeah, we have to admit it's way too different holding the DVD in hand feeling it IS in your hand.
It took me two and a half hours to go through the main scenes,well,as I perceived they impressed sometimes hurt me so before. It's still a pain in my head. Not that tough now, but it still hurts. And I've been kinda avoiding going through it again so I guess I've stopped watching QAF two months ago.
And now I realized how dump I am and how useless it was.
It NEVER, not a moment, goes away. It just somehow got hidden somewhere.
And keeps coming back while I'm weak.
Sometimes I feel there's nothing I can do about loving Brian, like I'm feeling right now. I mean, he's not even REAL. Yeah I've been through this argument before, about whether the man I'm obsessed in is Gale or Brian. The topic is too deep and nerve-consuming I'm not going on with it.
But if there's no Brian, guess I would NEVER, I mean it, NEVER, that I would fall for Gale Harold the man.
I've been in tears, in anger, in pieces for Brian. And I DO,I really DO, miss those days when I could feel my heart beat and torn for him.
I still love him, maybe I did sound like I was over him. But yeah, I know better.
Gone are the days. I never could have imaged it could change so much, that it could have felt so different after all these. It just, feels like there's nothing I could do,yeah.
I wish the best for Brian. Yeah, you changed my life. You did. Somehow you really did.
I thought maybe writing fics could have myself released the pain a little. And so I did, I wrote for Brian and Justin. That's my thoughts, my wish, my dream. But I stopped writing two months ago too.
What the fuck is wrong with me.
It took me two and a half hours to go through the main scenes,well,as I perceived they impressed sometimes hurt me so before. It's still a pain in my head. Not that tough now, but it still hurts. And I've been kinda avoiding going through it again so I guess I've stopped watching QAF two months ago.
And now I realized how dump I am and how useless it was.
It NEVER, not a moment, goes away. It just somehow got hidden somewhere.
And keeps coming back while I'm weak.
Sometimes I feel there's nothing I can do about loving Brian, like I'm feeling right now. I mean, he's not even REAL. Yeah I've been through this argument before, about whether the man I'm obsessed in is Gale or Brian. The topic is too deep and nerve-consuming I'm not going on with it.
But if there's no Brian, guess I would NEVER, I mean it, NEVER, that I would fall for Gale Harold the man.
I've been in tears, in anger, in pieces for Brian. And I DO,I really DO, miss those days when I could feel my heart beat and torn for him.
I still love him, maybe I did sound like I was over him. But yeah, I know better.
Gone are the days. I never could have imaged it could change so much, that it could have felt so different after all these. It just, feels like there's nothing I could do,yeah.
I wish the best for Brian. Yeah, you changed my life. You did. Somehow you really did.
I thought maybe writing fics could have myself released the pain a little. And so I did, I wrote for Brian and Justin. That's my thoughts, my wish, my dream. But I stopped writing two months ago too.
What the fuck is wrong with me.