(no subject)
worked all day today. that was exhausting. when i got home jeremy, leah and david had just pulled up. so we all hung out til they dropped me off a few minutes ago. we watched copycat. it freaked me out. sigourney weaver plays this unstable agorophobic [sp?] woman and jeremy made some comment about me needing to do something before i end up that way. i don't know if he was kidding or not.. but it actually kindof offended me. i'm just a wreck and it's just ridiculous. when they dropped me off i mustered up all i could to not cry. cause i didn't want chelsea to see me crying and ask why and not even have a reason. so. i don't know. being sober fucking sucks sometimes.
this morning i got a random email from pd though. it was good to hear from her. i tried to get in touch with meg like a week or two ago. no response. just.. i don't know. it's a little bit strange to me that.. like... most of the time the more often you say something the less it means. it loses it's newness or potency or whatever. but you can feel the same way over and over again with just as much intensity as the first time. just.. people stop caring the longer i go on with my bullshit. but in my head, it's so fucking there that i can't avoid it. in conclusion? i'm still crazy.
this morning i got a random email from pd though. it was good to hear from her. i tried to get in touch with meg like a week or two ago. no response. just.. i don't know. it's a little bit strange to me that.. like... most of the time the more often you say something the less it means. it loses it's newness or potency or whatever. but you can feel the same way over and over again with just as much intensity as the first time. just.. people stop caring the longer i go on with my bullshit. but in my head, it's so fucking there that i can't avoid it. in conclusion? i'm still crazy.