An Extremely Impulsive Update That I am Bound to Regret Sooner or Later.
For each crack in my wall I'll make a crack in your head so I can seep in and put myself into your day and your night and your unconscience thoughts. Just like you. You aren't supposed to be able to talk to me still. You're not supposed to show up around here. So you follow my rule book like a ten year old kid who is too young to go against them but too old to abide by them all. You still show up. But I don't need you here.
Can I write this epic story based on truth and based on completely bland sentences and break them into chapters instead of having them break me, publish them and copyright them? Then they will be bound to collect dust and I won't touch you because I'll have reason not to. And I can have my mother shove you into a shelf because she's not allergic to the dust like I am. Then it will be OK. Then you can really become the past. And I can walk passed you in the library and I won't even read your spine because it's so goddamn small and so fucking worn. And I won't give you a title because you never even wanted one and I won't give you an author because I'll be too ashamed (as I am right here).
And let me tell you, becoming a cobweb collector is an easy thing to accomplish. I have laid upon the highest shelf so you have an excuse to not dust me off. And you are why I feel so ill. And you are why I'm always better than everyone else. But the height of my shelf had made me blind. For my head got too big and I could not see a thing from up there. Until I jumped down..
And I'm okay now.
But I'm still writing and giving you the satisfaction. But you have got no idea what the hell I'm talking about..maybe somebody does. But that would only make matters worse.
So everyone is weak and everyone will meet someone who will prove that to them. Maybe it will be the one you marry and maybe it will be the one you murder (out of jealousy). But all in all, you will be given the benefit of the doubt by fooling someone else into just how strong you can pretend to be.
Can I write this epic story based on truth and based on completely bland sentences and break them into chapters instead of having them break me, publish them and copyright them? Then they will be bound to collect dust and I won't touch you because I'll have reason not to. And I can have my mother shove you into a shelf because she's not allergic to the dust like I am. Then it will be OK. Then you can really become the past. And I can walk passed you in the library and I won't even read your spine because it's so goddamn small and so fucking worn. And I won't give you a title because you never even wanted one and I won't give you an author because I'll be too ashamed (as I am right here).
And let me tell you, becoming a cobweb collector is an easy thing to accomplish. I have laid upon the highest shelf so you have an excuse to not dust me off. And you are why I feel so ill. And you are why I'm always better than everyone else. But the height of my shelf had made me blind. For my head got too big and I could not see a thing from up there. Until I jumped down..
And I'm okay now.
But I'm still writing and giving you the satisfaction. But you have got no idea what the hell I'm talking about..maybe somebody does. But that would only make matters worse.
So everyone is weak and everyone will meet someone who will prove that to them. Maybe it will be the one you marry and maybe it will be the one you murder (out of jealousy). But all in all, you will be given the benefit of the doubt by fooling someone else into just how strong you can pretend to be.