LJ Idol Season 10, Week 2: "That One Friend"
Lean On Me
(These stories are true, as far as I can remember. Names have been changed.)
I shift uncomfortably in Maria's chair as she talks on the phone. "No, it was good...They screamed, they hugged me...yeah. Alright, gotta go. Love you!" Maria hangs up on her mother.
"What were people screaming and hugging you about?"
"Oh, right, I didn't tell you." She extends her left hand, which bears a ring that wasn't there last time I saw her.
I scream and hug her. "Why didn't you say anything on Sunday?" I ask. After all, she'd been sitting there talking to me as I was playing on the piano in the dorm lobby.
"You were having a rough day, what with how the Scrabble tournament went. I didn't want to act all happy in the face of that."
I smile a little bit. "On the contrary...that would've been exactly the pickup I needed."
She smiles and gives me another hug. "I'll remember that for next time."
*****
I knock on Diana's door, not knowing where else to go. She opens it up. "Hey, what's going on?"
I walk past her and plop down on the couch. Diana turns and closes the door. "Okay, perhaps 'what's wrong?' is a better question."
"I didn't get the part." I'd made it to the final round of auditions, I thought I'd nailed it, and it just wasn't enough.
"I'm sorry," she whispers, sitting next to me. The photo album on her computer shows pictures of her husband, Sean, from his deployment. "Wanna look at some of our vacation photos?"
"No..."
"I've got some leftover cupcakes. Want one?"
"No..." I lean back on the couch, arms splayed out to my sides, doing my best to look like someone who desperately needs a hug. Which is an accurate representation.
Fortunately, she takes the hint and nestles herself in my arms. "You'll be okay. Life goes on." She's right, of course. It's already improving.
*****
"This would be so much easier if I just worked for you," I sigh. Laura and I have been collaborating on this project for weeks now, but I'm starting to get heat from my actual boss that the other work isn't getting done.
"Believe me, if I could make that happen, I would." Laura collects my papers into the manila folder and hands it back to me. "Though you'd have to be even more careful with what you say than you already are."
I think back over the last couple of months, and the things she's chastised me for; pointing out that her shirt was "the color of a rose," noticing a little bit too readily the changes in her hair, and a couple of other idle comments. All intended innocently--she is spoken for, after all--but still unprofessional.
"Yeah, that's true." Working for you would mean one less person to flirt with, I think but don't say, lest I get chastised again.
Laura reaches into her purse and pulls out a $10 bill. "We're gonna be a couple hours more, I think. Care to go get me a cheeseburger?"
*****
"So I was talking with my parents last night," I say to Sue. "Telling them about the car problems. They'll take care of paying for it, but it's still annoying."
Sue keeps driving her minivan down the snow-plowed roads. "Did you let them know one of your coworkers had essentially adopted you for the week?"
"Yeah, I mentioned you. Of course, the first question Mom asked was, 'Is she single?'"
"Oh god..." Sue breaks out laughing. Truth is, her marriage has fallen apart to the point that she might as well be, but still, she technically isn't.
"Which, even if you were...you're almost old enough to be my mom, and...we're just in very different places, wanting very different things. Plus, I'm not sure I'm ready for an actual relationship."
"Age is just a number," Sue replies, which is exactly what I'd expect her to say. "As for being ready...you are. You just haven't found her yet."
We pull up to my apartment and waddle out of the van, bundled up as we are against the cold. "Given that, this is gonna be a slightly awkward question, but..."
"You need a hug." I nod, and she obliges, long enough for me to feel my blood pressure drop. "Hang in there, kiddo. It'll all be back to normal soon."
*****
"Shall we?" I offer to take Hanna's arm as we exit the pub, leaving Craig alone with the bartender as he packs up the karaoke machine. Hanna obliges, and we start down the street to their car. Frankly, I think it's a good thing I'm there, as otherwise Hanna might wander into the street. "Tipsy" doesn't do it justice.
As we round the corner, the arm-in-arm turns into arms-around-each-other dancing down the sidewalk. What does Craig make of all this, I wonder? He didn't say anything tonight as Hanna kept pecking my cheek and laughing with me. As we reach the car, Hanna falls into my arms, and gives me another peck. I return the favor, and debate internally whether it's worth the shot.
Something I saw recently comes to mind, and my decision is easy. Pulling back slightly and cradling her face in my hands, I whisper, "I hope Craig forgives me for this..."
"Please don't," Hanna interjects, grabbing my wrists and pulling my hands down to my sides. "I'll feel bad."
"You're right. I'm sorry." Hopefully that didn't ruin anything...
"No worries," she says, pulling me into another hug. "Got a lot of love for ya, just...not that kind of love."
I nod slowly. "How many times do I have to hear that?"
Hanna squeezes even tighter. "You'll find her. Soon."
*****
As I grab my coat and watch my computer shut down, I give a nod over the cubicle wall to Carrie--our signal for "let's talk." She nods back, shuts down her computer, and follows me to the back door of the building.
"Still hearing Eric's voice in your ears? I know I would be." My boss does not seem capable of delivering criticism quietly.
"It's not that," I reply, barely above a whisper. "It's Liz. I'm...having serious doubts." I spend the next ten minutes pouring out my problems, not knowing exactly what advice I expect or want to hear.
"Look, I don't know whether you're supposed to end this or not. But just suppressing all of that is only going to make things worse. She deserves to know what you're feeling, and whatever happens after that...will be what's supposed to happen."
"Did you and John go through this same thing before you got married?" Carrie nods. "How did you get past it?"
"We talked it through. And that's what you need to do as well." She's never been one to shy away from tough love, and I appreciate that. Carrie looks at her watch. "Look, I gotta run." She gives me a quick but fierce hug. "You'll be okay."
*****
"Thanks again for the distraction," Amanda says as we park in front of her place, just in time to see the sun peek over the hill.
"No problem. I think we'll both sleep very well tonight--er, this morning...afternoon?" We've spent the last six hours running around a laser-tag arena, dressed as Indiana Jones (me) and Rey from Star Wars (her). It was something she'd mentioned wanting to do, and with Jim out of town, this seemed like a good opportunity.
We stagger out of the car, Amanda gathering all of her stuff together in her arms, then somehow finding a way to hug me around all of it. "Hang in there, girl," I whisper. "One more sleep, and you'll be back where you belong. With Jim."
"Absolutely," Amanda replies, squeezing a little tighter. "See you Monday at karaoke?"
"Assuming I'm back to a regular sleep schedule by then."
"Cool. Thanks again."
*****
I find it amazing that such a diverse group of actors have played the same role in my life. These women have been my confidantes, the people I can go to when I need to complain about my love life (or, more frequently, my lack thereof), moan about my job (or, on occasion, my lack thereof), or simply fall into someone's arms when I need a hug.
One thing that makes this possible is that, without exception, these women are in relationships themselves, almost entirely alleviating any awkwardness around romance that might arise--because a romance simply isn't going to happen. Through them, I've learned so much about what makes women tick, and those lessons have served me well.
As the seasons of my life change, so does the person in that role. But I know that character's never going to be written out of the script.
(These stories are true, as far as I can remember. Names have been changed.)
I shift uncomfortably in Maria's chair as she talks on the phone. "No, it was good...They screamed, they hugged me...yeah. Alright, gotta go. Love you!" Maria hangs up on her mother.
"What were people screaming and hugging you about?"
"Oh, right, I didn't tell you." She extends her left hand, which bears a ring that wasn't there last time I saw her.
I scream and hug her. "Why didn't you say anything on Sunday?" I ask. After all, she'd been sitting there talking to me as I was playing on the piano in the dorm lobby.
"You were having a rough day, what with how the Scrabble tournament went. I didn't want to act all happy in the face of that."
I smile a little bit. "On the contrary...that would've been exactly the pickup I needed."
She smiles and gives me another hug. "I'll remember that for next time."
*****
I knock on Diana's door, not knowing where else to go. She opens it up. "Hey, what's going on?"
I walk past her and plop down on the couch. Diana turns and closes the door. "Okay, perhaps 'what's wrong?' is a better question."
"I didn't get the part." I'd made it to the final round of auditions, I thought I'd nailed it, and it just wasn't enough.
"I'm sorry," she whispers, sitting next to me. The photo album on her computer shows pictures of her husband, Sean, from his deployment. "Wanna look at some of our vacation photos?"
"No..."
"I've got some leftover cupcakes. Want one?"
"No..." I lean back on the couch, arms splayed out to my sides, doing my best to look like someone who desperately needs a hug. Which is an accurate representation.
Fortunately, she takes the hint and nestles herself in my arms. "You'll be okay. Life goes on." She's right, of course. It's already improving.
*****
"This would be so much easier if I just worked for you," I sigh. Laura and I have been collaborating on this project for weeks now, but I'm starting to get heat from my actual boss that the other work isn't getting done.
"Believe me, if I could make that happen, I would." Laura collects my papers into the manila folder and hands it back to me. "Though you'd have to be even more careful with what you say than you already are."
I think back over the last couple of months, and the things she's chastised me for; pointing out that her shirt was "the color of a rose," noticing a little bit too readily the changes in her hair, and a couple of other idle comments. All intended innocently--she is spoken for, after all--but still unprofessional.
"Yeah, that's true." Working for you would mean one less person to flirt with, I think but don't say, lest I get chastised again.
Laura reaches into her purse and pulls out a $10 bill. "We're gonna be a couple hours more, I think. Care to go get me a cheeseburger?"
*****
"So I was talking with my parents last night," I say to Sue. "Telling them about the car problems. They'll take care of paying for it, but it's still annoying."
Sue keeps driving her minivan down the snow-plowed roads. "Did you let them know one of your coworkers had essentially adopted you for the week?"
"Yeah, I mentioned you. Of course, the first question Mom asked was, 'Is she single?'"
"Oh god..." Sue breaks out laughing. Truth is, her marriage has fallen apart to the point that she might as well be, but still, she technically isn't.
"Which, even if you were...you're almost old enough to be my mom, and...we're just in very different places, wanting very different things. Plus, I'm not sure I'm ready for an actual relationship."
"Age is just a number," Sue replies, which is exactly what I'd expect her to say. "As for being ready...you are. You just haven't found her yet."
We pull up to my apartment and waddle out of the van, bundled up as we are against the cold. "Given that, this is gonna be a slightly awkward question, but..."
"You need a hug." I nod, and she obliges, long enough for me to feel my blood pressure drop. "Hang in there, kiddo. It'll all be back to normal soon."
*****
"Shall we?" I offer to take Hanna's arm as we exit the pub, leaving Craig alone with the bartender as he packs up the karaoke machine. Hanna obliges, and we start down the street to their car. Frankly, I think it's a good thing I'm there, as otherwise Hanna might wander into the street. "Tipsy" doesn't do it justice.
As we round the corner, the arm-in-arm turns into arms-around-each-other dancing down the sidewalk. What does Craig make of all this, I wonder? He didn't say anything tonight as Hanna kept pecking my cheek and laughing with me. As we reach the car, Hanna falls into my arms, and gives me another peck. I return the favor, and debate internally whether it's worth the shot.
Something I saw recently comes to mind, and my decision is easy. Pulling back slightly and cradling her face in my hands, I whisper, "I hope Craig forgives me for this..."
"Please don't," Hanna interjects, grabbing my wrists and pulling my hands down to my sides. "I'll feel bad."
"You're right. I'm sorry." Hopefully that didn't ruin anything...
"No worries," she says, pulling me into another hug. "Got a lot of love for ya, just...not that kind of love."
I nod slowly. "How many times do I have to hear that?"
Hanna squeezes even tighter. "You'll find her. Soon."
*****
As I grab my coat and watch my computer shut down, I give a nod over the cubicle wall to Carrie--our signal for "let's talk." She nods back, shuts down her computer, and follows me to the back door of the building.
"Still hearing Eric's voice in your ears? I know I would be." My boss does not seem capable of delivering criticism quietly.
"It's not that," I reply, barely above a whisper. "It's Liz. I'm...having serious doubts." I spend the next ten minutes pouring out my problems, not knowing exactly what advice I expect or want to hear.
"Look, I don't know whether you're supposed to end this or not. But just suppressing all of that is only going to make things worse. She deserves to know what you're feeling, and whatever happens after that...will be what's supposed to happen."
"Did you and John go through this same thing before you got married?" Carrie nods. "How did you get past it?"
"We talked it through. And that's what you need to do as well." She's never been one to shy away from tough love, and I appreciate that. Carrie looks at her watch. "Look, I gotta run." She gives me a quick but fierce hug. "You'll be okay."
*****
"Thanks again for the distraction," Amanda says as we park in front of her place, just in time to see the sun peek over the hill.
"No problem. I think we'll both sleep very well tonight--er, this morning...afternoon?" We've spent the last six hours running around a laser-tag arena, dressed as Indiana Jones (me) and Rey from Star Wars (her). It was something she'd mentioned wanting to do, and with Jim out of town, this seemed like a good opportunity.
We stagger out of the car, Amanda gathering all of her stuff together in her arms, then somehow finding a way to hug me around all of it. "Hang in there, girl," I whisper. "One more sleep, and you'll be back where you belong. With Jim."
"Absolutely," Amanda replies, squeezing a little tighter. "See you Monday at karaoke?"
"Assuming I'm back to a regular sleep schedule by then."
"Cool. Thanks again."
*****
I find it amazing that such a diverse group of actors have played the same role in my life. These women have been my confidantes, the people I can go to when I need to complain about my love life (or, more frequently, my lack thereof), moan about my job (or, on occasion, my lack thereof), or simply fall into someone's arms when I need a hug.
One thing that makes this possible is that, without exception, these women are in relationships themselves, almost entirely alleviating any awkwardness around romance that might arise--because a romance simply isn't going to happen. Through them, I've learned so much about what makes women tick, and those lessons have served me well.
As the seasons of my life change, so does the person in that role. But I know that character's never going to be written out of the script.