LJ Idol Season 9, Week 6: "Step On A Crack"
"Believe"
"Jeff is up next. Where is Jeff?" Craig's voice booms over the loudspeakers, and a few young bros in the back cheer as one of their own makes his way to the stage.
Rosa, Craig's girlfriend, looks up at the monitors as the song title comes up. "Oof," she says, cringing a bit. The other three of us turn to look as well, just in time to see "Whip It" on the screen before the famous intro starts.
I lean over towards Lucy. "This is either going to go spectacularly well or spectacularly badly," I stage-whisper.
"And my money's on the latter," she replies, shaking her head as Jeff prepares to belt out the first words. Crack that whip! The singer does what everybody does when singing this song, and pantomimes the action.
We all look at each other upon hearing him attempt to hit the next notes--emphasis on the word "attempt." Hank gives a little smirk. "I think this is another candidate for The List."
The List consists of the songs that, if we ever opened our karaoke bar, would "surprisingly" not be available to sing. Not because they're not popular enough, mind you--in fact, exactly the opposite. Everybody wants to sing them, and nobody is actually capable of doing so. In our little fantasy world, we'd never have to hear "Summer Nights" or "Oops, I Did It Again" butchered.
"I'm all for adding it," I reply. "I mean, if people wanted to sing about superstitions, they should just do Stevie Wonder." I reach for a song slip and a pen. "Actually, I think I will."
"Do it!" Rosa implores, tugging at my sleeve. "You're good at that one!"
Lucy nods, then turns to Hank. "Why do people believe in those things anyway? Where did the idea that cracking a whip was a bad thing come from?"
Hank stares off into space for a moment. "I think it's people trying to make sense of the world," he muses. "They want to believe that every effect has a logical cause."
"Exactly," Rosa chimes in. "Bad luck isn't God conspiring against you, it's because you broke that mirror."
As I finish filling out the slip, I gird myself mentally. I can already feel the battle lines being drawn: me and Lucy, the church-goers, against Hank and Rosa, the non-believers. The four of us have come here every Wednesday for a year or so now, and we're usually good for one of these debates per month.
"You're conflating two things there," Lucy fires back. "Just because God sends bad things your way doesn't mean he's against you."
"Oh, this again," Hank groans.
"But doesn't your God promise 'abundant life'? Somewhere in John, I believe." For an atheist, Rosa sure knew the Bible well.
Lucy, however, was one step ahead, with her app already open on her phone. "He also says, six chapters later, 'In this world you will have trouble, but be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world.'"
Hank fired back with his most trusted argument. "Then why do innocent children bear the brunt of this world's suffering?"
"Because humans are sinful," Lucy and I respond simultaneously. Lucy grins at me and motions me to continue for her. "Adam screwed up, and we're all paying the price."
Rosa interjected, "I'm glad you said Adam screwed up and not Eve."
"And besides," I continue, looking pointedly at Hank, "how does superstition explain things any better?" This silences the table just as Jeff finishes his song. We all applaud the fact that he's finally done singing, and I realize we've hit a stalemate.
Grabbing my song slip to bring it up to Craig, I look at it again. "Anyway," I say, looking for a way to break the tension, "it's bad luck to be superstitious." Everyone laughs, and I crack a smile as I walk toward the stage.
"Jeff is up next. Where is Jeff?" Craig's voice booms over the loudspeakers, and a few young bros in the back cheer as one of their own makes his way to the stage.
Rosa, Craig's girlfriend, looks up at the monitors as the song title comes up. "Oof," she says, cringing a bit. The other three of us turn to look as well, just in time to see "Whip It" on the screen before the famous intro starts.
I lean over towards Lucy. "This is either going to go spectacularly well or spectacularly badly," I stage-whisper.
"And my money's on the latter," she replies, shaking her head as Jeff prepares to belt out the first words. Crack that whip! The singer does what everybody does when singing this song, and pantomimes the action.
We all look at each other upon hearing him attempt to hit the next notes--emphasis on the word "attempt." Hank gives a little smirk. "I think this is another candidate for The List."
The List consists of the songs that, if we ever opened our karaoke bar, would "surprisingly" not be available to sing. Not because they're not popular enough, mind you--in fact, exactly the opposite. Everybody wants to sing them, and nobody is actually capable of doing so. In our little fantasy world, we'd never have to hear "Summer Nights" or "Oops, I Did It Again" butchered.
"I'm all for adding it," I reply. "I mean, if people wanted to sing about superstitions, they should just do Stevie Wonder." I reach for a song slip and a pen. "Actually, I think I will."
"Do it!" Rosa implores, tugging at my sleeve. "You're good at that one!"
Lucy nods, then turns to Hank. "Why do people believe in those things anyway? Where did the idea that cracking a whip was a bad thing come from?"
Hank stares off into space for a moment. "I think it's people trying to make sense of the world," he muses. "They want to believe that every effect has a logical cause."
"Exactly," Rosa chimes in. "Bad luck isn't God conspiring against you, it's because you broke that mirror."
As I finish filling out the slip, I gird myself mentally. I can already feel the battle lines being drawn: me and Lucy, the church-goers, against Hank and Rosa, the non-believers. The four of us have come here every Wednesday for a year or so now, and we're usually good for one of these debates per month.
"You're conflating two things there," Lucy fires back. "Just because God sends bad things your way doesn't mean he's against you."
"Oh, this again," Hank groans.
"But doesn't your God promise 'abundant life'? Somewhere in John, I believe." For an atheist, Rosa sure knew the Bible well.
Lucy, however, was one step ahead, with her app already open on her phone. "He also says, six chapters later, 'In this world you will have trouble, but be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world.'"
Hank fired back with his most trusted argument. "Then why do innocent children bear the brunt of this world's suffering?"
"Because humans are sinful," Lucy and I respond simultaneously. Lucy grins at me and motions me to continue for her. "Adam screwed up, and we're all paying the price."
Rosa interjected, "I'm glad you said Adam screwed up and not Eve."
"And besides," I continue, looking pointedly at Hank, "how does superstition explain things any better?" This silences the table just as Jeff finishes his song. We all applaud the fact that he's finally done singing, and I realize we've hit a stalemate.
Grabbing my song slip to bring it up to Craig, I look at it again. "Anyway," I say, looking for a way to break the tension, "it's bad luck to be superstitious." Everyone laughs, and I crack a smile as I walk toward the stage.