Bent, not Broken: ch 14
Title: Bent, Not Broken
Chapters: 14/25 + epilogue
Fandoms: SS501, Super Junior, TVXQ, FT Island (cameo only)
Pairings: KyuJong/JungMin, YeSung/RyeoWook, others TBA
Rating: R overall
Warnings: Substance abuse, homophobia, character death, harsh subject matter
Summary: Happiness isn't easy to find when the world tells you that you don't deserve it. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to realize happiness was in front of you the whole time.
Going to church on Sundays was a part of RyeoWook's weekly routine ever since he could remember. Even when he was a kid he'd always gone to church, sitting on the pew squished between his mother and father and trying not to fall asleep because the pastor at the time had a horribly monotone voice. He hadn't really understood back then, but as he grew older he finally accepted many of the teachings he'd sat through as a child.
Of course when he'd started dating JongWoon, he'd wanted to share some of the peace going to church brought him. JongWoon wasn't as religious as him, but he'd agreed to go on Sundays for RyeoWook, making it just another reason why he loved his boyfriend…soon-to-be husband.
By the time the next Sunday rolled around, RyeoWook was glad for it. His disownment had been plaguing him ever since his parents' visit, pushing unwanted thoughts he'd thought he'd gotten over years ago back into his head. RyeoWook didn't like feeling lost and confused; he'd spent far too many years like that already. Going to church and spending some time reflecting and praying with JongWoon sounded like exactly what he needed to clear the clouds from his head.
Being in love isn't a sin, he reminded himself with JongWoon's words, exhaling slowly as he straightened his shirt and smoothed out any wrinkles. Turning, he slipped out of the bathroom and went in search of his fiancé. "JongWoon?"
There wasn't an immediate answer, but eventually a lump on the bed moved and JongWoon's head slowly came out from under the blankets. "Yeah?" he murmured, rubbing at his face.
RyeoWook blinked to see JongWoon in bed exactly where he left him. "Wake up sleepy head. It's almost time to go to church." He walked over to the bed, poking at the lump on the bed.
JongWoon grunted, rolling away from him and burying himself back up in the blankets. "I'm not going today," he said. "I... don't feel good."
"…Don't feel good?" RyeoWook frowned at that, scooting up onto the bed on his hands and knees. "What's wrong? You got a fever?" He tried to roll JongWoon over to check his temperature.
"No," JongWoon jerked away. "No... I don't have a fever, I have a stomach ache. I'm fine Wook, I just don't think I can sit through church today."
RyeoWook straightened, looking down at him in worry. JongWoon was worrying him. "Do you want me to stay and take care of you?"
"I'm fine," JongWoon sighed, pulling the blankets away to look at RyeoWook. "Just go to church, I'll eat some crackers or something and just try and get some rest."
Looking down at him, RyeoWook sighed softly. "All right." He brushed JongWoon's hair out of his face and leaned in to press a kiss to his forehead. "I'll bring you back some soup or something…okay? Call me if it gets worse, I'll be right back home."
"Yes mother," JongWoon snorted, lips curling up a little. "Have fun, make sure you pray enough for me too."
"I always do," RyeoWook whispered, fingers lightly caressing JongWoon's cheek before he slipped off the bed. "I love you, see you soon." He ducked his head a little as he left the room, heading to put his shoes on and leave.
"Love you too," JongWoon replied, watching him go. He waited until he heard RyeoWook closed the door before hopping out of bed and going to the bathroom. JongWoon hated lying to RyeoWook, but there were some things he needed to keep from his boyfriend. He didn't know what RyeoWook would do if he found out they were flat broke.
Within a few minutes, he had showered and dressed, and headed out to go to work. His father insisted he came in to work on the weekends, knowing full well that was his time with RyeoWook. JongWoon just hoped he would be back home before RyeoWook came home from church.
It was nearing lunchtime when church finally let out, families filing out of the building talking to each other. RyeoWook stayed in the pew near the front, eyes closed and breathing even. Even if JongWoon wasn't all that fond of going to church, it just wasn't the same without his fiancé there. RyeoWook was too used to pinching JongWoon's side to keep his concentration from wandering, or covering the older man's mouth with one hand when he was in a talkative mood. Sitting there with the space beside him empty just didn't feel right.
Opening his eyes and looking down at the Bible in his hands, RyeoWook remembered when he'd thought he was meant to keep coming to church alone. It was a sin to be gay, but he couldn't bring himself to mess up a woman's life by pretending to love her. The only other choice was a life of celibacy, forcing himself to be alone because that was the only way to avoid going to Hell and bringing shame on his family. Choosing celibacy had been the second part of his denial, when he couldn't avoid the fact he was gay any longer. The third part had been contemplating suicide, but thankfully that had been short-lived; he'd met JongWoon soon after.
He wasn't going to be alone…he had JongWoon now. It wasn't a sin. He just had to keep telling himself that. Placing the Bible in the small slot in front of him, RyeoWook stood and left the church.
On his way back home, he decided to stop by the grocery store and pick up what he would need to make something soothing for JongWoon. RyeoWook didn't like to see his boyfriend sick, and would do anything to help him feel better. Going through the grocery store, he made sure to pick up a jar of the soothing honey tea he knew JongWoon had loved last time he'd gotten sick.
The routine shopping was interrupted at the cash register. Already turned to bag his purchases after putting JongWoon's spare credit card in the machine, RyeoWook jumped when the machine beeped angrily. Turning back, he saw the card had been declined. "…That's…weird," he frowned, taking the card out. Seeing the cashier looking at him, he smiled tensely. "Try again?"
She agreed, and tapped a button on her screen before giving him the go-ahead. Once more, the card was declined. RyeoWook blinked down at it, taking it out of the machine. Insufficient funds? But this was JongWoon's credit card; his boyfriend had given it to him years ago to pay for rent and groceries, since RyeoWook's own funds were stretched thin between school and various other things.
Putting the credit card away, RyeoWook used his instead; he made sure to always have emergency funds in the account just in case. When the card went through he breathed a sigh of relief, but packed up with a worried frown. Had someone gotten into JongWoon's bank account and taken the man's money? He'd have to talk to JongWoon about it.
He headed back up to the apartment with the groceries, stepping in. "JongWoon?" he whispered, in case JongWoon was sleeping. When there was no reply, he figured that was the case, going to place everything in the kitchen before heading to the bedroom.
The bed was empty. Looking down at it, RyeoWook frowned. "…JongWoon?" he called louder, looking around for his boyfriend.
Once again there was no reply. JongWoon wasn't there. It would be another twenty minutes before he finally did show up, unlocking the front door and stepping in. He was out of breath, tie loosened as he kicked off his shoes. He wasn't even aware RyeoWook had beat him home as he dashed towards the bedroom, stripping off his clothes as he went.
Hearing the front door unlock as he was about to call his fiancé's cell phone, RyeoWook stepped out of the bedroom and nearly collided with JongWoon. Shouting in surprise, RyeoWook stepped back quickly to avoid being knocked to the floor.
"JongWoon? Where were you?"
JongWoon was just as surprised, yelling in fright as he toppled over onto his butt. "Wookie?" he blinked up at him in confusion. He knew he'd been running late, but how had RyeoWook beat him home? "Uh... hey! I... well uhhh.... I was feeling a little better," he stammered, trying to get back up to his feet. "So... I uhh... I thought I'd go to the church? But uh... obviously you weren't there."
RyeoWook stared at the older man, eyes wide. Something wasn't right…he knew JongWoon, and JongWoon was a bad, bad liar. "…Why are you half-undressed then?" he asked slowly, the surprise on his face shifting into a frown.
"You know I hate wearing these suits," JongWoon said with a half-hearted laugh. "I would have called but I uh.. I forgot my phone. That and I figured you'd get a stern look from the priest guy about having your phone go off in the middle of the service."
RyeoWook's lips pressed together thinly at the answer he got. "…You know when the service ends, and I was here for twenty minutes looking for you," he said lowly. "Why are you lying to me?"
"What? Lie? I'm not lying," JongWoon said, brushing past RyeoWook into the bedroom. "Why would I lie? Like I said, I didn't have my phone so I didn't know what time it is. How would I know what time the service is? I always make you late anyway because I forget what time it's supposed to be at."
RyeoWook turned around when JongWoon passed him, fingers curling around the older man's wrist. He didn't let JongWoon move away, looking up at him with a frown. "…You swear you're not lying to me."
"... I'm not lying Wook," JongWoon said, trying to give a reassuring smile. "I'm sorry if I made you worry. I really did want to come join you at the church. I just... messed up on the time."
Meeting JongWoon's eyes, RyeoWook looked away and let go of the other man's wrist. "If you're sick, you should stay in bed and rest before you make it worse. I'll get your soup ready." He turned to head into the kitchen.
"Hey," JongWoon frowned, wrapping his arms around RyeoWook's waist from behind. "Thank you for taking care of me."
RyeoWook sighed. "I'll always take care of you. Get out of the suit and back into bed," he patted JongWoon's arm before slipping out of his grip, going into the kitchen.
Shoulders slumping a little, JongWoon watched him go before turning back to go to the bedroom. He really did hate lying to RyeoWook. The sooner he could be free of his father's meddling the better. He just hoped it wouldn't take too long.
"Hey Saeng!" KyuJong called in greeting as he stepped into their apartment, back from work. Bag slung over one shoulder, he closed the door behind himself and slipped off his shoes. It was only three in the afternoon, but considering how early he got up it felt like the day was almost over. "You here?"
"Yeah," YoungSaeng called from the dining table. Curled up on one of the chairs he was staring at his computer screen, fingers tapping at the keys. "You're home early?"
"No, I'm home same time as usual," KyuJong chuckled, going to his room. He tossed his bag onto his bed before going to find his friend. "You ate lunch, right? Put down the computer for half an hour and got some food?"
"Lunch?" YoungSaeng blinked, looking away from the computer. "What do you mean? I don't even think I've had breakfast yet. What time is it?"
"Three in the afternoon," KyuJong shook his head in amusement, switching directions to head into the kitchen. "You must be really into that article."
"Yeah... I've had to restart it about three times now," YoungSaeng said, unfolding his legs to stand up and stretch. "I'm just not entirely sure what direction to go with it. I hate these kinds of assignments. Write an opinion article about something, but we're not going to tell you what kind of opinion you're supposed to have until you've written it. If you write the wrong opinion, we'll fire you."
KyuJong stopped, looking back at YoungSaeng. "Write your own opinion, Saeng. Whatever they want, you don't want to regret the piece, right?"
"Well... no, but I also don't want to lose my job," YoungSaeng said. "I could be blacklisted from all the news agencies in the country."
KyuJong sighed, leaning back against the wall. "Honestly Saeng, with how conservative that newspaper is, I think you know what kind of opinion they want."
"I know, and that's what's bugging me," YoungSaeng said, glancing down at his laptop. "I get halfway through writing the first draft and... I feel sick to my stomach while writing it. Doesn't matter which way I go with the piece, I end up feeling like I'm writing it wrong so I scrap it and start over."
Pushing away from the wall, KyuJong walked over to his best friend. "Sounds like you need a break," he said quietly, resting his hand on YoungSaeng's shoulder. "Close the laptop for a bit, I'll make you something to eat."
Shoulders slumped in defeat, YoungSaeng quirked a smile at KyuJong. "Yeah.. maybe some food will clear my head. Thanks Kyu."
Smiling in return, KyuJong turned towards the kitchen. "Just so it's out there…I won't think any less of you if you choose to write the article their way. It's your job after all."
YoungSaeng's brow furrowed a little at that. "I don't know Kyu... I could probably handle it better if I didn't know anyone who was gay and still write the article how they want. But you're my best friend, I don't want you to think I really think those things."
KyuJong looked back at him, smiling sadly. "I know you don't…and I'm not the one you should be worried about."
"... Who should I be worried about?" YoungSaeng blinked.
"It might be tough for a gay man to read an article like that…but it'll be worse for the gay man forced to write it."
"Oh," YoungSaeng nodded, looking away. "Would have been easier if I was still... denying myself. I don't really know what to do Kyu." The sound of KyuJong's cell phone going off interrupted the conversation and YoungSaeng snorted in amusement. "Speaking of, that's probably your boyfriend."
"He couldn't wait for me to make you lunch?" KyuJong's lips curled though and he fished his phone out of his pocket. "Hold that thought." He walked into the kitchen, answering the phone and wedging it between his shoulder and ear as he searched the fridge. "Hello?"
"Hey, what are you doing?" JungMin asked from the other end. "You out of work yet?"
"Yeah, I just got back home," KyuJong replied, finding leftovers from the night before. "What about you?"
"I just woke up," JungMin chuckled, groaning a little as he stretched out. "Was thinking about you. You want to come over?"
"Mmm…sure," KyuJong smiled wider. "I'm just gonna get Saeng some food before he starves himself, and I'll be right over."
"Sounds good, see you in a bit then," JungMin replied.
"See you." KyuJong hung up, putting his phone away as he went to reheat the food. "Saeng, I'm heading over to Min's after this," KyuJong called back into the dining room.
"Didn't see that coming," YoungSaeng rolled his eyes. "Who's going to make me dinner if you're not here? Who's going to make sure I even eat dinner?"
"I'll set an alarm," KyuJong wrinkled his nose. "Or get YunHo on your case. Where's your partner in crime, anyways? Has he brought back any photos for you yet?"
"No... he sent me a text last night," YoungSaeng said, frowning a little. "It's the six month anniversary since HeeBon's accident. He's not going to be available for a few days. I think he's going to go visit her memorial."
"…Oh…" KyuJong saddened at that, looking down at the food he was reheating in a pan. "That would make sense. Are you going to see her too?"
"No, I don't think he'd want me intruding," YoungSaeng said, crossing his arms. "I'm here if he needs me, he knows that. But I wouldn't feel right going."
"Just wondering, she was your friend too," KyuJong replied, poking at the food with a spoon. When it was done cooking he turned off the stove and transferred it to a plate, bringing it out to the dining table with a pair of chopsticks. "Here, eat. Maybe take a break for a while. Don't forget to eat dinner either."
"Yes, mother," YoungSaeng sighed, plopping himself down in a seat and attacking the food. "You going to be home tonight?" he asked around mouthfuls.
"I'd say so," KyuJong nodded, stepping back away from the table. He hadn't slept over at JungMin's place yet, partly because they were taking it slow and not sleeping with each other…and partly because SungMin was still there. He hadn't come face-to-face with the other man yet, but his presence was noticeable in JungMin's apartment. "I work tomorrow morning anyways."
"So no throwing any parties while you're out, got it," YoungSaeng said, smirking at him. "How are things with the boyfriend anyway? Is it getting better at all?"
"Well, we haven't gotten into too many arguments yet?" KyuJong shrugged. "We're taking it slow though…taking time to get to know each other more. It's better this way."
"Well... that's good," YoungSaeng nodded, watching him. "You let him know, if he does anything to hurt you again, I'm kicking his ass."
KyuJong's lips quirked. "Thanks, I can take care of myself though." He headed towards the door. "See you later tonight. Don't work too hard."
"Yeah, trying not to," YoungSaeng said with a sigh. "Have fun, don't do anything I wouldn't do."
"Speaking of things you wouldn't do, I'm still not telling you where I hid the key for the alcohol cupboard," KyuJong tossed over his shoulder on the way out. "Bye!" He closed the door after him.
"Spoilsport," YoungSaeng grumbled, wrinkling his nose at the door. When he was done with his meal, he dropped the plate off into the sink and sat back down at his computer. Despite how feverishly he had been working earlier, he wasn't ready to jump right back into the article. Not when he still wasn't sure what to write. Maybe KyuJong was right, maybe he needed a bit of a break. Picking his phone up from the table, he scrolled through his contacts before finding who he had been looking for and dialed.
It only took a few rings before the phone was answered. "Hello?" HyunJoong's voice came through the line, music playing in the background for a moment before it was switched off.
"Hey," YoungSaeng said, lips curling upwards a little. "So I was sitting here trying to get some work done, but I think it's slowly killing me. I need to get out of my apartment. What are you up to tonight?"
"Oh, hey," HyunJoong chuckled. "Mmm…don't have anything planned, was probably just going to stay home and watch a movie. Want to come over?"
"Depends on what kind of movie you were going to watch," YoungSaeng said, closing the lid on his laptop. "But it probably beats anything I was going to do here. I'll be there in about twenty?"
"Hey, if you have something else in mind, I'm open to suggestions," HyunJoong replied. "See you soon."
Hanging up, YoungSaeng got up and got ready to leave. A quick shower and change of clothes later he was out the door, though he was ten minutes past the time he said he would be when he knocked on HyunJoong's apartment door.
The door swung open, HyunJoong looking down at YoungSaeng with a smile. "Fancy seeing you here." He stepped aside to let YoungSaeng in. "Get lost again?"
"No," YoungSaeng grumbled, kicking off his shoes. "I ran a little late getting ready. What movie were you going to watch?"
"Some sci-fi thing I had recorded, forget the name," HyunJoong shrugged, closed the door after YoungSaeng. "Something you're interested in?"
"How could I resist with that great descriptor?" YoungSaeng said, going towards the living room. "I'm sure it'll be a great movie."
Amused, HyunJoong followed him. "Hey, you're the one who called me. Work not going well?"
"In a word? No," YoungSaeng sighed, taking a seat on the couch. "But I'd rather not think about work right now, that's why I'm here instead of at home beating my head on a keyboard."
"Want something to drink?" HyunJoong offered, picking up the TV remote and turning it on.
"Depends, what are you offering?" YoungSaeng asked, smiling up at him. "I'll take anything that has liquor in it."
"I'll be right back then," the older man grinned, flipping over to the recorded movie before putting the remote down and heading into the kitchen.
He came back a minute later with two filled glasses. "Here," he passed YoungSaeng his before taking a seat next to him. "Is your friend going to have my head for giving you alcohol?"
"What he doesn't know doesn't hurt him," YoungSaeng said, accepting the glass with a thank you. "You can't let me get trashed though, one of these should be plenty."
"Water after that, got it," HyunJoong chuckled, starting the movie. He sipped from his glass before putting it down, wrapping one arm around YoungSaeng's waist. "Well, I wasn't expecting to have any company today."
"But you're not complaining I hope," YoungSaeng said, glancing up at him.
"Why would I be complaining?" HyunJoong looked back down at him. "You're welcome here anytime."
"Oh? What if you've got another guy here and I just showed up without calling?" YoungSaeng asked, looking away again to the television.
"Why would I have another guy here? I'm dating you," HyunJoong replied, absently running his hand up and down YoungSaeng's side.
"We're not like... exclusive or anything," YoungSaeng said. " I mean... I know I've got issues and I guess I kind of assumed you'd be out looking for someone better. Or at least someone who'll put out."
HyunJoong frowned at that. "You make a lot of assumptions about me. What if I wasn't?"
"Then I'd think you were silly," YoungSaeng said. "I just don't want you to be disappointed in me or anything. I don't know if I'm ready for a... a boyfriend right now."
"Then why did you call me?" HyunJoong asked, looking away. "I got into this willingly, and I'm not going out behind your back looking for someone to have sex with. You're the one looking for reasons why this'll go badly, if you don't want to be here then just tell me."
"... I do want to be here," YoungSaeng said quietly, closing his eyes. "I'm still trying to figure myself out Hyun.. I'm sorry."
"Then stop trying to come up with reasons why I wouldn't want to be here with you," HyunJoong replied, eyes on the screen but not really watching. "Because whatever issues you have with yourself, this is where I am."
YoungSaeng's lips thinned slightly as he looked back up at HyunJoong, studying his profile. "And I want to be where you're at Hyun. I'm sorry if.. I'm letting my insecurities control me, and that's not fair to you. I'm here because... i like you, and I want to be with you."
HyunJoong glanced at YoungSaeng beside him, meeting the other man's eyes. After a moment his lips quirked and he leaned in to give YoungSaeng a light kiss. "Believe it or not, I want to be with you too."
YoungSaeng resisted the urge to make another self-deprecating comment; it wasn't the right time to be his usual self. He returned the kiss, eyes slipping closed as he just tried to relax and enjoy his time with HyunJoong.
Chapters: 14/25 + epilogue
Fandoms: SS501, Super Junior, TVXQ, FT Island (cameo only)
Pairings: KyuJong/JungMin, YeSung/RyeoWook, others TBA
Rating: R overall
Warnings: Substance abuse, homophobia, character death, harsh subject matter
Summary: Happiness isn't easy to find when the world tells you that you don't deserve it. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to realize happiness was in front of you the whole time.
Going to church on Sundays was a part of RyeoWook's weekly routine ever since he could remember. Even when he was a kid he'd always gone to church, sitting on the pew squished between his mother and father and trying not to fall asleep because the pastor at the time had a horribly monotone voice. He hadn't really understood back then, but as he grew older he finally accepted many of the teachings he'd sat through as a child.
Of course when he'd started dating JongWoon, he'd wanted to share some of the peace going to church brought him. JongWoon wasn't as religious as him, but he'd agreed to go on Sundays for RyeoWook, making it just another reason why he loved his boyfriend…soon-to-be husband.
By the time the next Sunday rolled around, RyeoWook was glad for it. His disownment had been plaguing him ever since his parents' visit, pushing unwanted thoughts he'd thought he'd gotten over years ago back into his head. RyeoWook didn't like feeling lost and confused; he'd spent far too many years like that already. Going to church and spending some time reflecting and praying with JongWoon sounded like exactly what he needed to clear the clouds from his head.
Being in love isn't a sin, he reminded himself with JongWoon's words, exhaling slowly as he straightened his shirt and smoothed out any wrinkles. Turning, he slipped out of the bathroom and went in search of his fiancé. "JongWoon?"
There wasn't an immediate answer, but eventually a lump on the bed moved and JongWoon's head slowly came out from under the blankets. "Yeah?" he murmured, rubbing at his face.
RyeoWook blinked to see JongWoon in bed exactly where he left him. "Wake up sleepy head. It's almost time to go to church." He walked over to the bed, poking at the lump on the bed.
JongWoon grunted, rolling away from him and burying himself back up in the blankets. "I'm not going today," he said. "I... don't feel good."
"…Don't feel good?" RyeoWook frowned at that, scooting up onto the bed on his hands and knees. "What's wrong? You got a fever?" He tried to roll JongWoon over to check his temperature.
"No," JongWoon jerked away. "No... I don't have a fever, I have a stomach ache. I'm fine Wook, I just don't think I can sit through church today."
RyeoWook straightened, looking down at him in worry. JongWoon was worrying him. "Do you want me to stay and take care of you?"
"I'm fine," JongWoon sighed, pulling the blankets away to look at RyeoWook. "Just go to church, I'll eat some crackers or something and just try and get some rest."
Looking down at him, RyeoWook sighed softly. "All right." He brushed JongWoon's hair out of his face and leaned in to press a kiss to his forehead. "I'll bring you back some soup or something…okay? Call me if it gets worse, I'll be right back home."
"Yes mother," JongWoon snorted, lips curling up a little. "Have fun, make sure you pray enough for me too."
"I always do," RyeoWook whispered, fingers lightly caressing JongWoon's cheek before he slipped off the bed. "I love you, see you soon." He ducked his head a little as he left the room, heading to put his shoes on and leave.
"Love you too," JongWoon replied, watching him go. He waited until he heard RyeoWook closed the door before hopping out of bed and going to the bathroom. JongWoon hated lying to RyeoWook, but there were some things he needed to keep from his boyfriend. He didn't know what RyeoWook would do if he found out they were flat broke.
Within a few minutes, he had showered and dressed, and headed out to go to work. His father insisted he came in to work on the weekends, knowing full well that was his time with RyeoWook. JongWoon just hoped he would be back home before RyeoWook came home from church.
It was nearing lunchtime when church finally let out, families filing out of the building talking to each other. RyeoWook stayed in the pew near the front, eyes closed and breathing even. Even if JongWoon wasn't all that fond of going to church, it just wasn't the same without his fiancé there. RyeoWook was too used to pinching JongWoon's side to keep his concentration from wandering, or covering the older man's mouth with one hand when he was in a talkative mood. Sitting there with the space beside him empty just didn't feel right.
Opening his eyes and looking down at the Bible in his hands, RyeoWook remembered when he'd thought he was meant to keep coming to church alone. It was a sin to be gay, but he couldn't bring himself to mess up a woman's life by pretending to love her. The only other choice was a life of celibacy, forcing himself to be alone because that was the only way to avoid going to Hell and bringing shame on his family. Choosing celibacy had been the second part of his denial, when he couldn't avoid the fact he was gay any longer. The third part had been contemplating suicide, but thankfully that had been short-lived; he'd met JongWoon soon after.
He wasn't going to be alone…he had JongWoon now. It wasn't a sin. He just had to keep telling himself that. Placing the Bible in the small slot in front of him, RyeoWook stood and left the church.
On his way back home, he decided to stop by the grocery store and pick up what he would need to make something soothing for JongWoon. RyeoWook didn't like to see his boyfriend sick, and would do anything to help him feel better. Going through the grocery store, he made sure to pick up a jar of the soothing honey tea he knew JongWoon had loved last time he'd gotten sick.
The routine shopping was interrupted at the cash register. Already turned to bag his purchases after putting JongWoon's spare credit card in the machine, RyeoWook jumped when the machine beeped angrily. Turning back, he saw the card had been declined. "…That's…weird," he frowned, taking the card out. Seeing the cashier looking at him, he smiled tensely. "Try again?"
She agreed, and tapped a button on her screen before giving him the go-ahead. Once more, the card was declined. RyeoWook blinked down at it, taking it out of the machine. Insufficient funds? But this was JongWoon's credit card; his boyfriend had given it to him years ago to pay for rent and groceries, since RyeoWook's own funds were stretched thin between school and various other things.
Putting the credit card away, RyeoWook used his instead; he made sure to always have emergency funds in the account just in case. When the card went through he breathed a sigh of relief, but packed up with a worried frown. Had someone gotten into JongWoon's bank account and taken the man's money? He'd have to talk to JongWoon about it.
He headed back up to the apartment with the groceries, stepping in. "JongWoon?" he whispered, in case JongWoon was sleeping. When there was no reply, he figured that was the case, going to place everything in the kitchen before heading to the bedroom.
The bed was empty. Looking down at it, RyeoWook frowned. "…JongWoon?" he called louder, looking around for his boyfriend.
Once again there was no reply. JongWoon wasn't there. It would be another twenty minutes before he finally did show up, unlocking the front door and stepping in. He was out of breath, tie loosened as he kicked off his shoes. He wasn't even aware RyeoWook had beat him home as he dashed towards the bedroom, stripping off his clothes as he went.
Hearing the front door unlock as he was about to call his fiancé's cell phone, RyeoWook stepped out of the bedroom and nearly collided with JongWoon. Shouting in surprise, RyeoWook stepped back quickly to avoid being knocked to the floor.
"JongWoon? Where were you?"
JongWoon was just as surprised, yelling in fright as he toppled over onto his butt. "Wookie?" he blinked up at him in confusion. He knew he'd been running late, but how had RyeoWook beat him home? "Uh... hey! I... well uhhh.... I was feeling a little better," he stammered, trying to get back up to his feet. "So... I uhh... I thought I'd go to the church? But uh... obviously you weren't there."
RyeoWook stared at the older man, eyes wide. Something wasn't right…he knew JongWoon, and JongWoon was a bad, bad liar. "…Why are you half-undressed then?" he asked slowly, the surprise on his face shifting into a frown.
"You know I hate wearing these suits," JongWoon said with a half-hearted laugh. "I would have called but I uh.. I forgot my phone. That and I figured you'd get a stern look from the priest guy about having your phone go off in the middle of the service."
RyeoWook's lips pressed together thinly at the answer he got. "…You know when the service ends, and I was here for twenty minutes looking for you," he said lowly. "Why are you lying to me?"
"What? Lie? I'm not lying," JongWoon said, brushing past RyeoWook into the bedroom. "Why would I lie? Like I said, I didn't have my phone so I didn't know what time it is. How would I know what time the service is? I always make you late anyway because I forget what time it's supposed to be at."
RyeoWook turned around when JongWoon passed him, fingers curling around the older man's wrist. He didn't let JongWoon move away, looking up at him with a frown. "…You swear you're not lying to me."
"... I'm not lying Wook," JongWoon said, trying to give a reassuring smile. "I'm sorry if I made you worry. I really did want to come join you at the church. I just... messed up on the time."
Meeting JongWoon's eyes, RyeoWook looked away and let go of the other man's wrist. "If you're sick, you should stay in bed and rest before you make it worse. I'll get your soup ready." He turned to head into the kitchen.
"Hey," JongWoon frowned, wrapping his arms around RyeoWook's waist from behind. "Thank you for taking care of me."
RyeoWook sighed. "I'll always take care of you. Get out of the suit and back into bed," he patted JongWoon's arm before slipping out of his grip, going into the kitchen.
Shoulders slumping a little, JongWoon watched him go before turning back to go to the bedroom. He really did hate lying to RyeoWook. The sooner he could be free of his father's meddling the better. He just hoped it wouldn't take too long.
"Hey Saeng!" KyuJong called in greeting as he stepped into their apartment, back from work. Bag slung over one shoulder, he closed the door behind himself and slipped off his shoes. It was only three in the afternoon, but considering how early he got up it felt like the day was almost over. "You here?"
"Yeah," YoungSaeng called from the dining table. Curled up on one of the chairs he was staring at his computer screen, fingers tapping at the keys. "You're home early?"
"No, I'm home same time as usual," KyuJong chuckled, going to his room. He tossed his bag onto his bed before going to find his friend. "You ate lunch, right? Put down the computer for half an hour and got some food?"
"Lunch?" YoungSaeng blinked, looking away from the computer. "What do you mean? I don't even think I've had breakfast yet. What time is it?"
"Three in the afternoon," KyuJong shook his head in amusement, switching directions to head into the kitchen. "You must be really into that article."
"Yeah... I've had to restart it about three times now," YoungSaeng said, unfolding his legs to stand up and stretch. "I'm just not entirely sure what direction to go with it. I hate these kinds of assignments. Write an opinion article about something, but we're not going to tell you what kind of opinion you're supposed to have until you've written it. If you write the wrong opinion, we'll fire you."
KyuJong stopped, looking back at YoungSaeng. "Write your own opinion, Saeng. Whatever they want, you don't want to regret the piece, right?"
"Well... no, but I also don't want to lose my job," YoungSaeng said. "I could be blacklisted from all the news agencies in the country."
KyuJong sighed, leaning back against the wall. "Honestly Saeng, with how conservative that newspaper is, I think you know what kind of opinion they want."
"I know, and that's what's bugging me," YoungSaeng said, glancing down at his laptop. "I get halfway through writing the first draft and... I feel sick to my stomach while writing it. Doesn't matter which way I go with the piece, I end up feeling like I'm writing it wrong so I scrap it and start over."
Pushing away from the wall, KyuJong walked over to his best friend. "Sounds like you need a break," he said quietly, resting his hand on YoungSaeng's shoulder. "Close the laptop for a bit, I'll make you something to eat."
Shoulders slumped in defeat, YoungSaeng quirked a smile at KyuJong. "Yeah.. maybe some food will clear my head. Thanks Kyu."
Smiling in return, KyuJong turned towards the kitchen. "Just so it's out there…I won't think any less of you if you choose to write the article their way. It's your job after all."
YoungSaeng's brow furrowed a little at that. "I don't know Kyu... I could probably handle it better if I didn't know anyone who was gay and still write the article how they want. But you're my best friend, I don't want you to think I really think those things."
KyuJong looked back at him, smiling sadly. "I know you don't…and I'm not the one you should be worried about."
"... Who should I be worried about?" YoungSaeng blinked.
"It might be tough for a gay man to read an article like that…but it'll be worse for the gay man forced to write it."
"Oh," YoungSaeng nodded, looking away. "Would have been easier if I was still... denying myself. I don't really know what to do Kyu." The sound of KyuJong's cell phone going off interrupted the conversation and YoungSaeng snorted in amusement. "Speaking of, that's probably your boyfriend."
"He couldn't wait for me to make you lunch?" KyuJong's lips curled though and he fished his phone out of his pocket. "Hold that thought." He walked into the kitchen, answering the phone and wedging it between his shoulder and ear as he searched the fridge. "Hello?"
"Hey, what are you doing?" JungMin asked from the other end. "You out of work yet?"
"Yeah, I just got back home," KyuJong replied, finding leftovers from the night before. "What about you?"
"I just woke up," JungMin chuckled, groaning a little as he stretched out. "Was thinking about you. You want to come over?"
"Mmm…sure," KyuJong smiled wider. "I'm just gonna get Saeng some food before he starves himself, and I'll be right over."
"Sounds good, see you in a bit then," JungMin replied.
"See you." KyuJong hung up, putting his phone away as he went to reheat the food. "Saeng, I'm heading over to Min's after this," KyuJong called back into the dining room.
"Didn't see that coming," YoungSaeng rolled his eyes. "Who's going to make me dinner if you're not here? Who's going to make sure I even eat dinner?"
"I'll set an alarm," KyuJong wrinkled his nose. "Or get YunHo on your case. Where's your partner in crime, anyways? Has he brought back any photos for you yet?"
"No... he sent me a text last night," YoungSaeng said, frowning a little. "It's the six month anniversary since HeeBon's accident. He's not going to be available for a few days. I think he's going to go visit her memorial."
"…Oh…" KyuJong saddened at that, looking down at the food he was reheating in a pan. "That would make sense. Are you going to see her too?"
"No, I don't think he'd want me intruding," YoungSaeng said, crossing his arms. "I'm here if he needs me, he knows that. But I wouldn't feel right going."
"Just wondering, she was your friend too," KyuJong replied, poking at the food with a spoon. When it was done cooking he turned off the stove and transferred it to a plate, bringing it out to the dining table with a pair of chopsticks. "Here, eat. Maybe take a break for a while. Don't forget to eat dinner either."
"Yes, mother," YoungSaeng sighed, plopping himself down in a seat and attacking the food. "You going to be home tonight?" he asked around mouthfuls.
"I'd say so," KyuJong nodded, stepping back away from the table. He hadn't slept over at JungMin's place yet, partly because they were taking it slow and not sleeping with each other…and partly because SungMin was still there. He hadn't come face-to-face with the other man yet, but his presence was noticeable in JungMin's apartment. "I work tomorrow morning anyways."
"So no throwing any parties while you're out, got it," YoungSaeng said, smirking at him. "How are things with the boyfriend anyway? Is it getting better at all?"
"Well, we haven't gotten into too many arguments yet?" KyuJong shrugged. "We're taking it slow though…taking time to get to know each other more. It's better this way."
"Well... that's good," YoungSaeng nodded, watching him. "You let him know, if he does anything to hurt you again, I'm kicking his ass."
KyuJong's lips quirked. "Thanks, I can take care of myself though." He headed towards the door. "See you later tonight. Don't work too hard."
"Yeah, trying not to," YoungSaeng said with a sigh. "Have fun, don't do anything I wouldn't do."
"Speaking of things you wouldn't do, I'm still not telling you where I hid the key for the alcohol cupboard," KyuJong tossed over his shoulder on the way out. "Bye!" He closed the door after him.
"Spoilsport," YoungSaeng grumbled, wrinkling his nose at the door. When he was done with his meal, he dropped the plate off into the sink and sat back down at his computer. Despite how feverishly he had been working earlier, he wasn't ready to jump right back into the article. Not when he still wasn't sure what to write. Maybe KyuJong was right, maybe he needed a bit of a break. Picking his phone up from the table, he scrolled through his contacts before finding who he had been looking for and dialed.
It only took a few rings before the phone was answered. "Hello?" HyunJoong's voice came through the line, music playing in the background for a moment before it was switched off.
"Hey," YoungSaeng said, lips curling upwards a little. "So I was sitting here trying to get some work done, but I think it's slowly killing me. I need to get out of my apartment. What are you up to tonight?"
"Oh, hey," HyunJoong chuckled. "Mmm…don't have anything planned, was probably just going to stay home and watch a movie. Want to come over?"
"Depends on what kind of movie you were going to watch," YoungSaeng said, closing the lid on his laptop. "But it probably beats anything I was going to do here. I'll be there in about twenty?"
"Hey, if you have something else in mind, I'm open to suggestions," HyunJoong replied. "See you soon."
Hanging up, YoungSaeng got up and got ready to leave. A quick shower and change of clothes later he was out the door, though he was ten minutes past the time he said he would be when he knocked on HyunJoong's apartment door.
The door swung open, HyunJoong looking down at YoungSaeng with a smile. "Fancy seeing you here." He stepped aside to let YoungSaeng in. "Get lost again?"
"No," YoungSaeng grumbled, kicking off his shoes. "I ran a little late getting ready. What movie were you going to watch?"
"Some sci-fi thing I had recorded, forget the name," HyunJoong shrugged, closed the door after YoungSaeng. "Something you're interested in?"
"How could I resist with that great descriptor?" YoungSaeng said, going towards the living room. "I'm sure it'll be a great movie."
Amused, HyunJoong followed him. "Hey, you're the one who called me. Work not going well?"
"In a word? No," YoungSaeng sighed, taking a seat on the couch. "But I'd rather not think about work right now, that's why I'm here instead of at home beating my head on a keyboard."
"Want something to drink?" HyunJoong offered, picking up the TV remote and turning it on.
"Depends, what are you offering?" YoungSaeng asked, smiling up at him. "I'll take anything that has liquor in it."
"I'll be right back then," the older man grinned, flipping over to the recorded movie before putting the remote down and heading into the kitchen.
He came back a minute later with two filled glasses. "Here," he passed YoungSaeng his before taking a seat next to him. "Is your friend going to have my head for giving you alcohol?"
"What he doesn't know doesn't hurt him," YoungSaeng said, accepting the glass with a thank you. "You can't let me get trashed though, one of these should be plenty."
"Water after that, got it," HyunJoong chuckled, starting the movie. He sipped from his glass before putting it down, wrapping one arm around YoungSaeng's waist. "Well, I wasn't expecting to have any company today."
"But you're not complaining I hope," YoungSaeng said, glancing up at him.
"Why would I be complaining?" HyunJoong looked back down at him. "You're welcome here anytime."
"Oh? What if you've got another guy here and I just showed up without calling?" YoungSaeng asked, looking away again to the television.
"Why would I have another guy here? I'm dating you," HyunJoong replied, absently running his hand up and down YoungSaeng's side.
"We're not like... exclusive or anything," YoungSaeng said. " I mean... I know I've got issues and I guess I kind of assumed you'd be out looking for someone better. Or at least someone who'll put out."
HyunJoong frowned at that. "You make a lot of assumptions about me. What if I wasn't?"
"Then I'd think you were silly," YoungSaeng said. "I just don't want you to be disappointed in me or anything. I don't know if I'm ready for a... a boyfriend right now."
"Then why did you call me?" HyunJoong asked, looking away. "I got into this willingly, and I'm not going out behind your back looking for someone to have sex with. You're the one looking for reasons why this'll go badly, if you don't want to be here then just tell me."
"... I do want to be here," YoungSaeng said quietly, closing his eyes. "I'm still trying to figure myself out Hyun.. I'm sorry."
"Then stop trying to come up with reasons why I wouldn't want to be here with you," HyunJoong replied, eyes on the screen but not really watching. "Because whatever issues you have with yourself, this is where I am."
YoungSaeng's lips thinned slightly as he looked back up at HyunJoong, studying his profile. "And I want to be where you're at Hyun. I'm sorry if.. I'm letting my insecurities control me, and that's not fair to you. I'm here because... i like you, and I want to be with you."
HyunJoong glanced at YoungSaeng beside him, meeting the other man's eyes. After a moment his lips quirked and he leaned in to give YoungSaeng a light kiss. "Believe it or not, I want to be with you too."
YoungSaeng resisted the urge to make another self-deprecating comment; it wasn't the right time to be his usual self. He returned the kiss, eyes slipping closed as he just tried to relax and enjoy his time with HyunJoong.