(no subject)
Ok, so this entire month has sucked big balls.
Well...that's overdoing it a bit. Not the whole month. Bryan getting full-time was definitely excellent. And I would say that's about it. School blows. It has been so stressful and ridiculous that I don't know if I can handle one more schedule change or problem. More than once in the past few weeks I have thought that it is time for me to find a new job. I really don't know if I have what it takes to make it in this career. The teaching part I can do and actually like. Unfortunately for me, I am cursed to be a special ed teacher and therefore be at the beck and call / whim of the regular ed teachers in which my students are placed. Now, if I could have my own self-contained classroom and actually be in charge of what my students do and when, I think I would be good. But that isn't going to happen so living in that little pipedream is going to get me nowhere.
For the past 3 days I have cried at least once, I think I got to twice yesterday, because of the sheer stress of trying to figure it all out. It's like, I get one schedule together get my plan book all organized and think it's going to work and then something changes or I realize I'm not seeing my students enough, and I have to change it again. And that means working around 2 freaking schedules to support 7 students of all different levels. God help me. I worked all weekend, Sat and Sunday nights, to plan for the reading and math for my students. Went in today and it all fizzled out because something else changed. So what was the point? In October we have NECAP federal testing. So I lose another month just about to testing. And then people wonder why americans are dumber than asians. Do they spend a month testing. I think not. But that's a whole other issue.
So the only reason I haven't resigned is the fact that I'm getting married and need a guaranteed paycheck every 2 weeks and I need health benefits. Other than that I think I would be looking seriously for another job. I still am thinking about it. There's this administrative assistant job for this company in Providence. Maybe I'll look into it. It says it pays $55,000 a year. Which is way more than what I get now. If you can't tell I'm stressed out. The little non-sentences are probably cluing you in. Just right now it seems like work sucks so bad I want to run away and hide!
Well...that's overdoing it a bit. Not the whole month. Bryan getting full-time was definitely excellent. And I would say that's about it. School blows. It has been so stressful and ridiculous that I don't know if I can handle one more schedule change or problem. More than once in the past few weeks I have thought that it is time for me to find a new job. I really don't know if I have what it takes to make it in this career. The teaching part I can do and actually like. Unfortunately for me, I am cursed to be a special ed teacher and therefore be at the beck and call / whim of the regular ed teachers in which my students are placed. Now, if I could have my own self-contained classroom and actually be in charge of what my students do and when, I think I would be good. But that isn't going to happen so living in that little pipedream is going to get me nowhere.
For the past 3 days I have cried at least once, I think I got to twice yesterday, because of the sheer stress of trying to figure it all out. It's like, I get one schedule together get my plan book all organized and think it's going to work and then something changes or I realize I'm not seeing my students enough, and I have to change it again. And that means working around 2 freaking schedules to support 7 students of all different levels. God help me. I worked all weekend, Sat and Sunday nights, to plan for the reading and math for my students. Went in today and it all fizzled out because something else changed. So what was the point? In October we have NECAP federal testing. So I lose another month just about to testing. And then people wonder why americans are dumber than asians. Do they spend a month testing. I think not. But that's a whole other issue.
So the only reason I haven't resigned is the fact that I'm getting married and need a guaranteed paycheck every 2 weeks and I need health benefits. Other than that I think I would be looking seriously for another job. I still am thinking about it. There's this administrative assistant job for this company in Providence. Maybe I'll look into it. It says it pays $55,000 a year. Which is way more than what I get now. If you can't tell I'm stressed out. The little non-sentences are probably cluing you in. Just right now it seems like work sucks so bad I want to run away and hide!