cigarettes.
If there was one thing my mom never tried growing up, she told me, it was cigarettes and drugs. My grandfather, (her father), died of lung cancer about 3 years before I was born --so, it was with good reason.
For a very long time, I swore to myself that I would never try it, but alas, college changes you.
I think the first time I tried one was my sophomore year. It was a night of drinking and fun with my new roommate, and some friends. At one point, some of them left to go out, while the rest stayed behind to assist drunk people, though we didn't really do that very well...
We went outside, and were with my new roommate's boyfriend when he offered us a cigarette. Interested, we took it and I believe I said, "I don't know how to do this." Oh, lost youth.
He told us how and we tried it. I don't remember if I particularly enjoyed it, but there were a few pictures and they are horrible.
It didn't become a habit, but I started pledging in the spring and I remember my pledge educator, who noticed I was stressed out, came over and offered me a cigarette. I declined, and she told me, "I know you smoke, there were the pictures." I was a little creeped out for a minute, but still declined. Oh, mind fucks.
Yuan picked up the habit really bad during our process, and I had one with her occasionally when I was really freaking out, but it never became a habit. At the same time though, I wish I had never discovered how it relaxes you.
When G and I took a turn for the worse, it happened Y and her boyfriend were also having problems. We took up the habit of smoking. It was sad, really. We'd walk around outside and rant, sometimes chain smoke. It was nice to be outside, but it wasn't really the best way to deal with my anxiety, only because it was a temporary calm. M also did it with us one day, and we all got really sad, and just went our separate ways.
G found out and yelled at me about it, but me for listening to someone, especially someone who had caused it, was not something I was really going to do. I never bought packs, it was always splitting them, or someone offering one to me.
It was, though, a bad habit, and in the summer, G happened to try one and picked it up. We weren't talking but I heard, and wasn't too thrilled about it. I refused to go back to that habit, and rather, put my energy into doing other things for myself, like going to the gym, and such.
I hadn't touched a cigarette in months, till we went to the Poconos. It was here Y asked me when G had started smoking, and I smoked to calm myself down. I was getting anxious with doing nothing and was experiencing the anxiety I had my senior semester. Not the best way to handle it, but old habits die hard, I guess.
In the end, it will never become a habit for me, and really shouldn't have, and I hope it is dead for good, and soon dies for others.
For a very long time, I swore to myself that I would never try it, but alas, college changes you.
I think the first time I tried one was my sophomore year. It was a night of drinking and fun with my new roommate, and some friends. At one point, some of them left to go out, while the rest stayed behind to assist drunk people, though we didn't really do that very well...
We went outside, and were with my new roommate's boyfriend when he offered us a cigarette. Interested, we took it and I believe I said, "I don't know how to do this." Oh, lost youth.
He told us how and we tried it. I don't remember if I particularly enjoyed it, but there were a few pictures and they are horrible.
It didn't become a habit, but I started pledging in the spring and I remember my pledge educator, who noticed I was stressed out, came over and offered me a cigarette. I declined, and she told me, "I know you smoke, there were the pictures." I was a little creeped out for a minute, but still declined. Oh, mind fucks.
Yuan picked up the habit really bad during our process, and I had one with her occasionally when I was really freaking out, but it never became a habit. At the same time though, I wish I had never discovered how it relaxes you.
When G and I took a turn for the worse, it happened Y and her boyfriend were also having problems. We took up the habit of smoking. It was sad, really. We'd walk around outside and rant, sometimes chain smoke. It was nice to be outside, but it wasn't really the best way to deal with my anxiety, only because it was a temporary calm. M also did it with us one day, and we all got really sad, and just went our separate ways.
G found out and yelled at me about it, but me for listening to someone, especially someone who had caused it, was not something I was really going to do. I never bought packs, it was always splitting them, or someone offering one to me.
It was, though, a bad habit, and in the summer, G happened to try one and picked it up. We weren't talking but I heard, and wasn't too thrilled about it. I refused to go back to that habit, and rather, put my energy into doing other things for myself, like going to the gym, and such.
I hadn't touched a cigarette in months, till we went to the Poconos. It was here Y asked me when G had started smoking, and I smoked to calm myself down. I was getting anxious with doing nothing and was experiencing the anxiety I had my senior semester. Not the best way to handle it, but old habits die hard, I guess.
In the end, it will never become a habit for me, and really shouldn't have, and I hope it is dead for good, and soon dies for others.