open book.
I did something I normally would never do or think of the other night.
Hanging out at Glenn's, I passed through his kitchen and glimpsed a blue moleskine by his sink. The moleskine I had given him for his birthday the year before. I was touched he still had it. I remember him telling me he wrote stories in them and said I could read them one day.
Curious to see how far he got, I picked it up and started flipping quickly through pages. I neared the end and spied a script that was not his and, besides my better judgment, stopped.
In it, was something she had written. She not worthy of a name in my book. I was hurt all over again, even though it was a year ago. And so pissed off that she had written in something I had given him. I wanted to tear it out. Glenny bear. Is that what I was missing?
On top of that, it didn't help knowing he had just been out there after we had talked and he had made it seem more or less paper, and harmless...
But what made me almost drop the book was when I turned to the last few pages. 'Suicide'. I put it down then.
I felt very anxious, even being well aware it was a year ago. With my cousin being so, that was the last thought I could handle.
I mean, I know people graze the matter or something, but this was someone I cared about so much, and to think of it, killed me in a sense. I would never be able to deal with that.
Of course this led to a whole other issue of progressing backwards conversation wise, as once again, after talking about me not holding back, he is. But. Yea. Jeez.
I guess you get what you get when you do something like that. Deserve it maybe.
Posted via LjBeetle
Hanging out at Glenn's, I passed through his kitchen and glimpsed a blue moleskine by his sink. The moleskine I had given him for his birthday the year before. I was touched he still had it. I remember him telling me he wrote stories in them and said I could read them one day.
Curious to see how far he got, I picked it up and started flipping quickly through pages. I neared the end and spied a script that was not his and, besides my better judgment, stopped.
In it, was something she had written. She not worthy of a name in my book. I was hurt all over again, even though it was a year ago. And so pissed off that she had written in something I had given him. I wanted to tear it out. Glenny bear. Is that what I was missing?
On top of that, it didn't help knowing he had just been out there after we had talked and he had made it seem more or less paper, and harmless...
But what made me almost drop the book was when I turned to the last few pages. 'Suicide'. I put it down then.
I felt very anxious, even being well aware it was a year ago. With my cousin being so, that was the last thought I could handle.
I mean, I know people graze the matter or something, but this was someone I cared about so much, and to think of it, killed me in a sense. I would never be able to deal with that.
Of course this led to a whole other issue of progressing backwards conversation wise, as once again, after talking about me not holding back, he is. But. Yea. Jeez.
I guess you get what you get when you do something like that. Deserve it maybe.
Posted via LjBeetle