how.
"Tell me how you've been,
Tell me what you've seen,
Tell me that you'd like to see me too.
...
I've seen people try to change,
And I know it isn't easy,
But nothin' worth the time ever really is."
I know it's been a while, and I've been meaning to write, but I find myself saying tomorrow and tomorrow and soon it's a month and then four.
Anyway, I guess things caught up with me. I've been doing as well as I can with what I have and the occasional heartfelt pang of missing Scotland.
I was talking about one of my exes, Glenn, really with a friend and he mentioned that Glenn had asked how I was. We haven't spoken really at all. Glenn and I. I wished him a Happy Birthday and he replied with happy half birthday. An old joke between us and I'd be lying if I said it didn't warm my heart a bit and make me smile. A positive reply. Or so I was taking it that way. Maybe you can think I'm pitiful or whatever, but I actually do miss him as a friend, so for me, this was a good sign.
I was surprised to hear he had asked. He never seemed to in the past and this upset me previously, as I felt like something just tossed to the wayside. I was hurt that I always asked and he never seemed to care to know. Eventually, you give up, focus and accept it for what it is, I guess. So these recent developments made me smile.
What did not make me smile was when I attended a party and my friend mentioned that Glenn was not coming because I would be there. Wouldn't there be drama? he asked. No, I told him. You create the drama, and sometimes he acts weird. But when I last saw him at Shahbaz's, it was pretty fine, minus me still not being okay with my return and no word from him. And the whole driving fiasco.
It annoys me though, as my cousin said, since I tend to interalize drama more than cause it. And how old are we that we can't be civil and in a room together? The drama is created by entertaining these thoughts and it frustrates me.
Anyway, I took my friend's phone and told Glenn to come. My friend was excited he was supposed to come. I was hoping to see him to say hi and ask how he's been but had to leave and get my sister.
I texted him since I heard he finally got his mom to move and he told me briefly about it. I mentioned hanging out with everyone some time and he said he'd probably be too busy.
I get too hopeful or excited I think, sometimes, that we can just be friends again. I may be completely wrong, but I still don't think he's completely into that idea or okay with it. But those little things brightened my day, and give me hope...just a tiny bit...that our friendship's still got a shot.
Tell me what you've seen,
Tell me that you'd like to see me too.
...
I've seen people try to change,
And I know it isn't easy,
But nothin' worth the time ever really is."
I know it's been a while, and I've been meaning to write, but I find myself saying tomorrow and tomorrow and soon it's a month and then four.
Anyway, I guess things caught up with me. I've been doing as well as I can with what I have and the occasional heartfelt pang of missing Scotland.
I was talking about one of my exes, Glenn, really with a friend and he mentioned that Glenn had asked how I was. We haven't spoken really at all. Glenn and I. I wished him a Happy Birthday and he replied with happy half birthday. An old joke between us and I'd be lying if I said it didn't warm my heart a bit and make me smile. A positive reply. Or so I was taking it that way. Maybe you can think I'm pitiful or whatever, but I actually do miss him as a friend, so for me, this was a good sign.
I was surprised to hear he had asked. He never seemed to in the past and this upset me previously, as I felt like something just tossed to the wayside. I was hurt that I always asked and he never seemed to care to know. Eventually, you give up, focus and accept it for what it is, I guess. So these recent developments made me smile.
What did not make me smile was when I attended a party and my friend mentioned that Glenn was not coming because I would be there. Wouldn't there be drama? he asked. No, I told him. You create the drama, and sometimes he acts weird. But when I last saw him at Shahbaz's, it was pretty fine, minus me still not being okay with my return and no word from him. And the whole driving fiasco.
It annoys me though, as my cousin said, since I tend to interalize drama more than cause it. And how old are we that we can't be civil and in a room together? The drama is created by entertaining these thoughts and it frustrates me.
Anyway, I took my friend's phone and told Glenn to come. My friend was excited he was supposed to come. I was hoping to see him to say hi and ask how he's been but had to leave and get my sister.
I texted him since I heard he finally got his mom to move and he told me briefly about it. I mentioned hanging out with everyone some time and he said he'd probably be too busy.
I get too hopeful or excited I think, sometimes, that we can just be friends again. I may be completely wrong, but I still don't think he's completely into that idea or okay with it. But those little things brightened my day, and give me hope...just a tiny bit...that our friendship's still got a shot.