friend police.
A few months ago, a friend of mine pushed us talking via text what the problem was between the two of us.
In and out, I told him that he'd been a poor friend as of late (really, it'd been over time).
In the midst of his blow up, he called me the friendship police or the friend police, whatever it was.
I remember being startled by his blow up and side-eyeing the wall with an eyebrow raise because I hadn't wanted to talk this way because texts always come out wrong. I remember laying on my bed, legs propped against the wall, as I oddly do sometimes and just not even knowing how to respond.
It's come back around a few times, where I've wondered if I am the 'friend police', perhaps overstepping my bounds. I've confronted friends on other friends' behalves and it's done me no good, besides sticking up for myself. All it seems to have me wondering is why I'm the only one who says anything, if there's a point, and if I'm overstepping by sticking up for them. Often, I don't say much when people first tell me what's awry, not until it starts affecting me as well.
The thing is though, none of our friends will ever say it to the person themselves, so I wind up looking like an idiot or being the one on blast, which I don't mind. I mean, I do it because friends aren't just supposed to do what you want and I don't like watching them or hearing of them treating each other poorly, especially when it's all mutual friends. I mean, yeah, you can do what you want, but the point of friends is they are people you care about and consider to an extent, and don't treat like just anybody on the street. Or you shouldn't anyway.
I've realized, over time, my friends don't like rocking the boat. They'd rather ignore/be ignored/be an ass/not be called out/not possibly confront someone than to stick up for themselves or others. Maybe they don't see someone enough, which is fine, maybe they don't care enough to bother (which is bad in itself, because that's how much of a friend you are to them now) or maybe they don't want to choose sides. What they don't realize is this won't strengthen the friendship, this won't resolve anything and they are choosing a side in and of itself by not saying anything.
For a while, I was in a mood over this, this phrase reverberating throughout my mind, and maybe wondering if I should really stop saying anything on anyone's behalf. I think, in the end, I'd rather say something though, on their behalf, than not and make the person aware of it. It's my one rule and will continue to be.
Make the person aware that they're upsetting you or kind of sucking (I mean, I'm not going to spew positivity when you're not even bothered) and try and talk it out, and if it doesn't work leave it. Leave it,. girl.
Some people are stubborn, and selfish, and refuse to see it or change or talk it out and just get angry and would rather argue with you than try and change it. But at least you tried. I think friends of so long should be working to keep the friendship up, especially in these tumultuous times, and remember to say hi once in a while, made so easy by technology. Because, maybe they'll be around, but I won't and most people you won't usually see waiting around for you to come to your senses. Maybe you won't even notice me slipping away.
So, if friend police I am or asshole who calls you out, I guess, I will continue to be with the note of trying not to let it get to me as much anymore. We're not 18 anymore, you can't expect me to keep letting your being an ass slide all the time and expect me to be there at the drop of a hat when you're never even bothered. And I expect all the same from them (to call me out, hello!)!