Some Complications..
Why do I have to be bi? Why can't I be straight? If there is a God why would she/he have me suffer with trying to figure things out and other things like my bipolar condition? I am just so very tired of being 'different!' I want to be so very normal - but I can't be - I have to be difficult!
Being bi isn't a bad thing - yet I am stuck on it and I don't know why. I think its because I'm afraid that people will reject me or discriminate against me...
And I'm afraid to tell the other side of the family out of either fear or fear of bigotry will be their answer. I'm just so tired of being able to not be myself out of fear/embarrassment.
I don't know why I'm embarrassed about it anyway, b/c being bi isn't wrong its just a small part of me that will make up a large part of my future.
My gay-'ness' so to speak shouldn't be something to be embarrassed about. I am normal I'm just like everyone else - except I like women just a tad more than men. I am pretty sure that everyone else (like me) just wants to be loved.
There is such a stigma about gay people that I don't understand. We are like everyone else and have personality flaws, physical imperfections among other things - I just don't get what the whole thing is! Why is there so much hate?
Sometimes - well in the past few days I have been wondering whether I should've done it b/c it feels like a giant burden was lifted from my shoulders - but at the same time a new burden came along. Living 'out' is going to be difficult. I have to live with the negative opinions and feelings of bigotry of a lot of people for the rest of my life. It's going to SUCK!!!
Sorry.. this was just a rant that I posted last night in my journal that I thought I would share...
Being bi isn't a bad thing - yet I am stuck on it and I don't know why. I think its because I'm afraid that people will reject me or discriminate against me...
And I'm afraid to tell the other side of the family out of either fear or fear of bigotry will be their answer. I'm just so tired of being able to not be myself out of fear/embarrassment.
I don't know why I'm embarrassed about it anyway, b/c being bi isn't wrong its just a small part of me that will make up a large part of my future.
My gay-'ness' so to speak shouldn't be something to be embarrassed about. I am normal I'm just like everyone else - except I like women just a tad more than men. I am pretty sure that everyone else (like me) just wants to be loved.
There is such a stigma about gay people that I don't understand. We are like everyone else and have personality flaws, physical imperfections among other things - I just don't get what the whole thing is! Why is there so much hate?
Sometimes - well in the past few days I have been wondering whether I should've done it b/c it feels like a giant burden was lifted from my shoulders - but at the same time a new burden came along. Living 'out' is going to be difficult. I have to live with the negative opinions and feelings of bigotry of a lot of people for the rest of my life. It's going to SUCK!!!
Sorry.. this was just a rant that I posted last night in my journal that I thought I would share...