on sleep
does anyone else have an extremely hard time falling asleep at night? i've started to go to bed earlier to try and catch up on sleep, but then i'd just lay there for a few hours and eventually open up my laptop and do nothing in particular. what feels like minutes inbetween glances at the clock are actually hours. before i know it, the sun is rising and i feel an overwhelming sense of futility...not just of sleep...but of everything in general. that's odd because the sunrise represents renewal, the start of something, the passing of the dark time. for myself it's different. i need sleep desperately.
i managed to sleep semi-ok friday night. during which i had a good dream about someone i haven't thought about, seen, or talked to in years. it was so good that i woke up at 2 in the morning then successfully forced myself back to sleep to continue the dream, it was so vivid and emotional, but not even sexual. i woke up feeling depressed at the realization that it was a dream. it made me wonder about her or if she's changed. i need to find her to show her that i've changed.
i suddenly miss her. is it weird to miss someone who has most likely forgotten you exist?
i managed to sleep semi-ok friday night. during which i had a good dream about someone i haven't thought about, seen, or talked to in years. it was so good that i woke up at 2 in the morning then successfully forced myself back to sleep to continue the dream, it was so vivid and emotional, but not even sexual. i woke up feeling depressed at the realization that it was a dream. it made me wonder about her or if she's changed. i need to find her to show her that i've changed.
i suddenly miss her. is it weird to miss someone who has most likely forgotten you exist?