(no subject)
Eh. Fuck you. You know exactly who you are. (Don't worry Cam, it isn't you this time :P)
I'm half way through my final exams and I'm getting ever so nervous/scared. Not about my results because I can't change them and I'm pretty confident so far, but about University or what-not next year. If I do get into the "Writing and Contemporary Cultures" course I want I will be learning under some of the best and my most admired poets and writers and orators. The standard of students will undoubtedly be up there too. I just don't think I will be able to reach anywhere near their standard and it's such a big risk. I know I would be so happy doing it, but I'm so scared. It's in Sydney anyway and I thought I decided not to go there? Why am I so damn indecisive? I was whining to Cam about this and I told him how out of the 50 or so stories I have written only a few have endings because I think I get so into the characters that I don't want to disappoint them with a shitty ending. Endings are just so conclusive. I mean, I know that's the point but what if it isn't good enough? I told him how I was scared I would go to Uni and have permanent mind blanks and he said a very prophetic thing, he said that mind blanks were only the result of intimidation. It's true, I am so intimidated by everyone else's talent that I make myself blank. Hmmm, but then he said I just have to *uses hand movements as he did* "not be intimidated". Ah, I wish it was that easy. Thanks for the advice though :P
I really am not fishing for compliments here, I'm just not very good and I think I need to realise that and that I should do something less risky that I'm at least a little good at. Hmm, no-one reading this has read any of my stories I don't think, so I can't get any constructive criticism. I sent three away to Anne Helm in London and she sent back a letter saying if I could alter a few things she might PUBLISH THEM!!! Though, she probably sends that to every hopeful knowing how hard it is to change something you spent years writing. But yeh, whatever. Woo. Hehe, luckily my story editing and grammar etc. is much better than that you witness here in livejournal :P
Ok, sorry this is really boring. Hehe. Fun post next, I promise!!!!11!!eleven!!!%^@&@exclamationmark!!
*shoots foot for being a goddamn loser*