An update - cause I can
I decided that it's been a while since I've written anything. So I guess I'll throw in a little bit about my life and what is going on. Ken still isnt and probably wont talk to me. *shrugs* his loss I suppose. Work is SLOW and I'm finding it hard to get myself through the work day, not to mention that I am totally unmotivated to do anything besides mix paint and help customers... what front and face what aisles? I'm hoping spiritual things are starting to figure themselves out. My mouth is killing me... I think due to wisdom teeth. Things with Jeremy are doing well. Hmm perhaps I should spend a bit more time on each of these things.
Well I suppose the Ken thing is pretty self-explainatory. He just wont talk to me... that simple. He hasn't sent any of my stuff back to me... but I figure I'll just cut my losses and run... no sense looking back, won't do me any good.
Work... we were crazy busy back around the 4th of July. Right after the 4th of July rush died down we had the inventory craziness where all of the managers got NO sleep for like three weeks straight and we had to constantly count and tag items in the department. Me and my number dyslexia were enjoying that whole experience... you have no idea. I feel like the management went crazy over nothing... they spazzed out about how stressful the inventory day(s) would be and then it was so easy... there was really nothing to it on our end... it was up to the people counting the product. I've had some crazy weeks lately... I had a 10 day stretch with no days off... that was unfun. Then I had an entire week of closing shifts where I worked opposite Jeremy *he opens monday-friday* and now again... I will be having 10 straight days of shifts... the next 5 being closing shifts *sigh*. Ummm ummm umm... so yeah now that inventory is done there's not really much to do... everything is nicely stocked, the night crew has been awesome the last few weeks since Nick left and they leave little in the way of stupid things to clean up. Most of my customers have been nice... I guess the angry ones were just that way cuase they were nerved up about their house being pristine for the 4th or something weird like that. *shrugs* I just know its been slow and I've been unmotivated due to crappy shifts and little sleep.
I met with Thom on Thursday and I kinda told him about a few things that have been troubling me. We decided that we could use my creativity once in a while - perhaps once a month - and I could do pictures, slides or what not for the service. I might get back with the youth group and I might go on the adult mission trip in the spring. I have another "talk" with Thom schedlued for next month and so hopefully I can learn to like him better and help to replace/repair that void that appeared when jan and mike left. I need to learn to trust him like I did them... I need to let him be my pastor/councelor like I did with Jan. Its gonna be hard but maybe I can make it work... *shrugs*
I have a wisdom tooth *or a canker in that very spot* that is just driving me crazy. It hurts to talk and to eat and my mouth is constantly dry. It stings/throbs all day and is just plain a pain in the ... mouth. I'm gonna wait it out for a bit to see if it dies out like a canker would or if it just gets worse or stays constant.. then I suppose I'll have to crack and have it pulled.
Jeremy and I have been doing well despite the schedule we are on. He has a set schedule at work... Monday-Friday 5 to 2. Mine is all over the place... but mostly I close. It kinda sucks. We see each other in passing as he punches out, I punch in. He comes to see me on many of my dinner/lunch breaks though and we grab something to eat together. He also thinks we NEED to talk every day which is also my philosophy so the days we don't meet for a lunch break, we talk on the phone. Communication is key... and its what I've been looking for you have no idea how happy it makes me that he insists we talk daily. BTW Jeremy is totally a romancer, he bought me a flower on my lunch break one day, he sang to me/for me in the car inbetween sweet little kisses, he took me on a picnic, he insists on paying for everything, opens doors for me ect... I'm being so spoiled and I love every minute of it! I met his dad yesterday *though his dad does not know who or what I am in relation to his son* but I think he got the picture anyway cause Jeremy's mom called him up lastnight very interested in talking to him... he decided not to tell her anything until we all get together on Monday for dinner. Leave her hanging lol. We have so many things that we're totally in sync on - our sense of humor, the way we think about things *always*, our emotional compatibility is crazy, we're both really observant and aware of both physical and emotional signs each other sends... we both know what we want in a relationship and we both know who we are and what things we're willing to compromise and what we aren't. We both have similar reasons for doing things we do *like his reason for leaving the army and my reason for deciding against ordained ministry*, we both are ambitious homebodies.... but I think we almost movtivate each other to get out and do something and go somewhere together. Its really all about communication and trust... I really trust him... like more than I think I ever have with anyone else i've actually dated. I think its because I know his "experiemtal" stage is over. He knows who he is, he knows what he wants and he knows what he will and wont do. I know most of these things as well and I trust that he won't hurt me with whatever he does. I've always been scared of someone just blatantly breaking my trust with his actions.... but right now I'm not.... and I really really really really like that. I dont NEED to know what he's doing, I dont NEED anything... I don't ask much of him really... and I get so much more than what I expect or require... I feel like I don't give enough in return... what do you get for a guy??? Do I get him a rose!? lol. He told me I do plenty - by wanting to talk to him, by wanting to see him... but I feel like I should be doing more. I have done a few things - I have a few romancing tricks up my sleeve, but I feel like I should do more. I'll have to get my gears crankin'.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway. I should go to bed.
Na nights
Well I suppose the Ken thing is pretty self-explainatory. He just wont talk to me... that simple. He hasn't sent any of my stuff back to me... but I figure I'll just cut my losses and run... no sense looking back, won't do me any good.
Work... we were crazy busy back around the 4th of July. Right after the 4th of July rush died down we had the inventory craziness where all of the managers got NO sleep for like three weeks straight and we had to constantly count and tag items in the department. Me and my number dyslexia were enjoying that whole experience... you have no idea. I feel like the management went crazy over nothing... they spazzed out about how stressful the inventory day(s) would be and then it was so easy... there was really nothing to it on our end... it was up to the people counting the product. I've had some crazy weeks lately... I had a 10 day stretch with no days off... that was unfun. Then I had an entire week of closing shifts where I worked opposite Jeremy *he opens monday-friday* and now again... I will be having 10 straight days of shifts... the next 5 being closing shifts *sigh*. Ummm ummm umm... so yeah now that inventory is done there's not really much to do... everything is nicely stocked, the night crew has been awesome the last few weeks since Nick left and they leave little in the way of stupid things to clean up. Most of my customers have been nice... I guess the angry ones were just that way cuase they were nerved up about their house being pristine for the 4th or something weird like that. *shrugs* I just know its been slow and I've been unmotivated due to crappy shifts and little sleep.
I met with Thom on Thursday and I kinda told him about a few things that have been troubling me. We decided that we could use my creativity once in a while - perhaps once a month - and I could do pictures, slides or what not for the service. I might get back with the youth group and I might go on the adult mission trip in the spring. I have another "talk" with Thom schedlued for next month and so hopefully I can learn to like him better and help to replace/repair that void that appeared when jan and mike left. I need to learn to trust him like I did them... I need to let him be my pastor/councelor like I did with Jan. Its gonna be hard but maybe I can make it work... *shrugs*
I have a wisdom tooth *or a canker in that very spot* that is just driving me crazy. It hurts to talk and to eat and my mouth is constantly dry. It stings/throbs all day and is just plain a pain in the ... mouth. I'm gonna wait it out for a bit to see if it dies out like a canker would or if it just gets worse or stays constant.. then I suppose I'll have to crack and have it pulled.
Jeremy and I have been doing well despite the schedule we are on. He has a set schedule at work... Monday-Friday 5 to 2. Mine is all over the place... but mostly I close. It kinda sucks. We see each other in passing as he punches out, I punch in. He comes to see me on many of my dinner/lunch breaks though and we grab something to eat together. He also thinks we NEED to talk every day which is also my philosophy so the days we don't meet for a lunch break, we talk on the phone. Communication is key... and its what I've been looking for you have no idea how happy it makes me that he insists we talk daily. BTW Jeremy is totally a romancer, he bought me a flower on my lunch break one day, he sang to me/for me in the car inbetween sweet little kisses, he took me on a picnic, he insists on paying for everything, opens doors for me ect... I'm being so spoiled and I love every minute of it! I met his dad yesterday *though his dad does not know who or what I am in relation to his son* but I think he got the picture anyway cause Jeremy's mom called him up lastnight very interested in talking to him... he decided not to tell her anything until we all get together on Monday for dinner. Leave her hanging lol. We have so many things that we're totally in sync on - our sense of humor, the way we think about things *always*, our emotional compatibility is crazy, we're both really observant and aware of both physical and emotional signs each other sends... we both know what we want in a relationship and we both know who we are and what things we're willing to compromise and what we aren't. We both have similar reasons for doing things we do *like his reason for leaving the army and my reason for deciding against ordained ministry*, we both are ambitious homebodies.... but I think we almost movtivate each other to get out and do something and go somewhere together. Its really all about communication and trust... I really trust him... like more than I think I ever have with anyone else i've actually dated. I think its because I know his "experiemtal" stage is over. He knows who he is, he knows what he wants and he knows what he will and wont do. I know most of these things as well and I trust that he won't hurt me with whatever he does. I've always been scared of someone just blatantly breaking my trust with his actions.... but right now I'm not.... and I really really really really like that. I dont NEED to know what he's doing, I dont NEED anything... I don't ask much of him really... and I get so much more than what I expect or require... I feel like I don't give enough in return... what do you get for a guy??? Do I get him a rose!? lol. He told me I do plenty - by wanting to talk to him, by wanting to see him... but I feel like I should be doing more. I have done a few things - I have a few romancing tricks up my sleeve, but I feel like I should do more. I'll have to get my gears crankin'.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway. I should go to bed.
Na nights