November 3rd, 2009
This was written at 1:30 in the morning, after I had been up since 5 am the previous morning, gone out canvassing twice, and had experienced all the ups and downs of election day. I'm surprised I could even formulate a sentence:
As I sit here, while the reports trickle in, I am sick to my stomach. And yet, I do not give up hope. The numbers continue to grow against us, but I do not give up hope. I do not give up hope.
My hope is not a vain hope, it is not blind, unshakable in the face of reality.
I do not give up hope because my hope is not rooted in this one night.
My hope is rooted in the far future, where tonight is less than a blip.
Because the truth is that gay marriage is coming. It is inevitable. These are but the death knolls of ignorance, fear, and lack of empathy.
Fifty years from now, people will look upon tonight with disgust, disbelief, and dismissal. Blip.
Yes, my stomach turns, and my eyes cry, as I watch rights, rights given to us by our elected officials, and signed into law by our governor, literally wrenched from our hands. But this is not the ending. This is the beginning.
We have sipped from the cup of equality, and now that we know its taste, our thirst for it will never be sated. This is not a defeat, this is but the steeling of our resolve. This is but the proof that before we had any rights at all, when we still had to hide in the shadows, it was love, and love alone that kept us alive, and kept us going. And our love is so pure, so immune to opinion, threat, vote, or fear, that it has not even flinched tonight. We have not let go, we have only begun to hold each other tighter.
Burn the fires hotter, burn us bright white- strip away the illusion that we should even have to justify our lives or our love. Strip away the idea that this love could have ever been seen as anything other than beautiful in God's eyes. Strip away the lie that this was not the greatest gift that God could have given us. Blister and burn the fear, and the lies, and the hate, and all that which would seek to hide this glory of God's creation.
For it is good.
Love is good.
I am not afraid anymore. I will not let myself believe that your opinion has any affect on the worth of my love. You do not have the right to cheapen it. Whatever debates or laws may follow, you may speak your mind on what should be legal, or illegal, but you do not have the right to value or devalue love. Anyone who seeks to put him or herself above love will be humbled by it. You will be brought to your knees by love. You may even fear it in its sheer majesty.
Tonight, I breathe an apology to God. I tell Him that I am sorry. I am sorry that I could have ever thought that being gay was anything other than a gift. That it was unworthy of me. How could I have ever seen this for something other than what it is? For possibly the first time in my life, I am thankful that God chose to make me gay. He loved me ENOUGH to bless me with this unique kind of love, and why I ever thought that this was not a blessing is now lost to me. God, I thank you for this beautiful, indescribable, wonderful, spectacular, life-changing, empowering, unique, pure gift.
And others now are seeing it. If this fear and condemnation were really rooted in truth, rather than ignorance, it would not be slipping farther and farther into the realms of old, battered prejudices each and every day. It does not belong to the earth, it belongs to the wind, and soon, it shall be reclaimed.
Darkness does not have an actual presence of its own. Those of you who have ever seen a candle in the darkness realize just how easy it is to shatter an illusion of a real presence, so,
have peace.
The rest of you are welcome to try to cover the sun with blindfolds.
We will still feel its warmth on our skin.
As I sit here, while the reports trickle in, I am sick to my stomach. And yet, I do not give up hope. The numbers continue to grow against us, but I do not give up hope. I do not give up hope.
My hope is not a vain hope, it is not blind, unshakable in the face of reality.
I do not give up hope because my hope is not rooted in this one night.
My hope is rooted in the far future, where tonight is less than a blip.
Because the truth is that gay marriage is coming. It is inevitable. These are but the death knolls of ignorance, fear, and lack of empathy.
Fifty years from now, people will look upon tonight with disgust, disbelief, and dismissal. Blip.
Yes, my stomach turns, and my eyes cry, as I watch rights, rights given to us by our elected officials, and signed into law by our governor, literally wrenched from our hands. But this is not the ending. This is the beginning.
We have sipped from the cup of equality, and now that we know its taste, our thirst for it will never be sated. This is not a defeat, this is but the steeling of our resolve. This is but the proof that before we had any rights at all, when we still had to hide in the shadows, it was love, and love alone that kept us alive, and kept us going. And our love is so pure, so immune to opinion, threat, vote, or fear, that it has not even flinched tonight. We have not let go, we have only begun to hold each other tighter.
Burn the fires hotter, burn us bright white- strip away the illusion that we should even have to justify our lives or our love. Strip away the idea that this love could have ever been seen as anything other than beautiful in God's eyes. Strip away the lie that this was not the greatest gift that God could have given us. Blister and burn the fear, and the lies, and the hate, and all that which would seek to hide this glory of God's creation.
For it is good.
Love is good.
I am not afraid anymore. I will not let myself believe that your opinion has any affect on the worth of my love. You do not have the right to cheapen it. Whatever debates or laws may follow, you may speak your mind on what should be legal, or illegal, but you do not have the right to value or devalue love. Anyone who seeks to put him or herself above love will be humbled by it. You will be brought to your knees by love. You may even fear it in its sheer majesty.
Tonight, I breathe an apology to God. I tell Him that I am sorry. I am sorry that I could have ever thought that being gay was anything other than a gift. That it was unworthy of me. How could I have ever seen this for something other than what it is? For possibly the first time in my life, I am thankful that God chose to make me gay. He loved me ENOUGH to bless me with this unique kind of love, and why I ever thought that this was not a blessing is now lost to me. God, I thank you for this beautiful, indescribable, wonderful, spectacular, life-changing, empowering, unique, pure gift.
And others now are seeing it. If this fear and condemnation were really rooted in truth, rather than ignorance, it would not be slipping farther and farther into the realms of old, battered prejudices each and every day. It does not belong to the earth, it belongs to the wind, and soon, it shall be reclaimed.
Darkness does not have an actual presence of its own. Those of you who have ever seen a candle in the darkness realize just how easy it is to shatter an illusion of a real presence, so,
have peace.
The rest of you are welcome to try to cover the sun with blindfolds.
We will still feel its warmth on our skin.