(no subject)
you must have written that just before you called me last night. Everything I wanted to say but was too scared to:
Yeah i still check this thing all the time hoping for a message like that and every time i dont see one i think youve moved on. Everything has gone downhill since you left. Ive been screwing up school, Ive spent maybe 5 hours at home since then. Its gotten to the point where i refuse to be at home unless im asleep because im afraid of what i could do if i sit alone thinking about it too long. I havent been able to see your facebook thing because you blocked it but i had chelsea look at it and she said it looks like your happy now. I would say that all i want is for you to be happy but if we're being honest, what I really want is for us to be happy, together. I really do miss everything about you. Every little thing in my room i can tie to you somehow and looking at it all just makes me feel sick to my stomach. I dont know why but I havent been able to bring myself to take your pictures down. I cant take your pillow and stuffed animals off of my bed. I cant delete you out of my phone. I just cant even try to forget you because your everything to me. Usually by now you would have called or something and we would have made up but this time its gone on longer and i cant help but think youve moved on. I could never move on past you. Even if you moved on and i started to see someone else, I would always know in the back of my mind that you are the person im supposed to spend my life with. I cant imagine going on my whole life without you. You have been the best part of my life and i dont know what im going to do without you.
buuuut last night we talked and its all good. I love you so much and Im glad this crap is over.
Yeah i still check this thing all the time hoping for a message like that and every time i dont see one i think youve moved on. Everything has gone downhill since you left. Ive been screwing up school, Ive spent maybe 5 hours at home since then. Its gotten to the point where i refuse to be at home unless im asleep because im afraid of what i could do if i sit alone thinking about it too long. I havent been able to see your facebook thing because you blocked it but i had chelsea look at it and she said it looks like your happy now. I would say that all i want is for you to be happy but if we're being honest, what I really want is for us to be happy, together. I really do miss everything about you. Every little thing in my room i can tie to you somehow and looking at it all just makes me feel sick to my stomach. I dont know why but I havent been able to bring myself to take your pictures down. I cant take your pillow and stuffed animals off of my bed. I cant delete you out of my phone. I just cant even try to forget you because your everything to me. Usually by now you would have called or something and we would have made up but this time its gone on longer and i cant help but think youve moved on. I could never move on past you. Even if you moved on and i started to see someone else, I would always know in the back of my mind that you are the person im supposed to spend my life with. I cant imagine going on my whole life without you. You have been the best part of my life and i dont know what im going to do without you.
buuuut last night we talked and its all good. I love you so much and Im glad this crap is over.