ahh Fuck It All!
I don't understand some people. Ya know? You have one of those bad shitty ass days when everything just totally pisses you off, and you just want to go to bed. People keep bugging the hell outta you, nad you just want to be alone so you don't explode. That's how I am right now. I am so pissed, and I think all the HPL girls are pissed at me which I don't understand because I mean it was just a fight between me and Heather, but whatever. If they don't want to talk to me, then fine. It'll be good for me, but just to let them know if they read this. Taking this break will probably be worse for me because I'll develope a new routine for everynight instead of sitting on my computer. I might actually go to the games, and not sit in front of my computer. Yea...That sounds good. I can't wait. I can be me again, and maybe I'll actually be happy instead of soo pissed off all the time. At least I know I'll still have a few things in my life that will be normal. I'll still have Kurt to talk to everynight, Marcella to cheer me up everyday, and Steph to consul me when I'm down. I guess I'll have Zack too, but he is so different when he has a girlfriend so I don't know what's going to happen with me and him. My whole life is just a game. It's like the Sims. The player can make me seriously pissed, or it can cheer me up. It's not fair. I just want to control myself, and not have all these distractions. Oh and another thing. Everyone keeps talking about how fucking everything's all my fucking fault. Everyone always expects me to say sorry first, and me to be the one to make the remark. I am so sick of it. Why don't people just do shit for themselves. Sure during lunch other people throw my tray and garbage away, but I would throw mine away myself. I just don't because then they would expect me to throw theirs away too which just isn't happening because I am not going to be their little bitch.
I really just don't know what to do anymore. I'm always so confused, or pissed, or sad. I'm sick of all my mood changes, and I'm sick of always having to put on this fucking play for everyone at school. I think it's rediculous that I have to act different around them. I'm actually seriously tired of all this shit. I'm going to snap on anyone and everyone if they piss me off. Most of them deserve what I say to them. Sure, I feel bad about saying some of the shit that I say, but all those bitches deserve whatever the fuck I told them. Yea this isn't helping. I'm just too pissed right now. My dad asked me what was wrong, and I snapped on him and started yelling about the fight that I got in after school. I'm seriously about to go and kill someone. I'm so tired of people's shit. so tired of it.