There's just no point to it anymore...
I don't see the point in even trying anymore. I just want these feelings to go away. I want them to go away because then I think the pain that I am in will go away too. I mean he was the best thing to happen to me, and now I just don't have him, and I'm pretty positive this time that I won't have him again. If I get him back I will rejoice with tears because I'll be at a crossroads. Hell yea I want him back, but if I can't have him then I don't even know the point in trying.
I wish I could have just one tear. Whenever I need to cry I can't, and when I don't want to cry they burst out. You see. For the past year, I haven't wanted to truely cry as badly as I want to right now. It seems as though there is just nothing left for me at all. I don't have Eric...I don't have volleyball or softball right now. I can't work out to release my frustration, and Steph's always busy.
The times that me and Steph hang out now are just so much fun because I can only hope that our friendship makes it through high school. She's my best friend. She's been there for me when no one else was. She understood what I was trying to say without me even having to say it. She and I really are connected at the brain. I can read her, and she can read me. She's my sister..my best buddy.
I still haven't been getting much sleep. I really think I am going to start going insane if I can't sleep. I stay up all night thinking about all this shit, and then morning comes, and I'm just drifting off.
I can't wait for school. Maybe then all this shit will pass and I'll finally be normal, but then again what is normal anymore?
I wish I could have just one tear. Whenever I need to cry I can't, and when I don't want to cry they burst out. You see. For the past year, I haven't wanted to truely cry as badly as I want to right now. It seems as though there is just nothing left for me at all. I don't have Eric...I don't have volleyball or softball right now. I can't work out to release my frustration, and Steph's always busy.
The times that me and Steph hang out now are just so much fun because I can only hope that our friendship makes it through high school. She's my best friend. She's been there for me when no one else was. She understood what I was trying to say without me even having to say it. She and I really are connected at the brain. I can read her, and she can read me. She's my sister..my best buddy.
I still haven't been getting much sleep. I really think I am going to start going insane if I can't sleep. I stay up all night thinking about all this shit, and then morning comes, and I'm just drifting off.
I can't wait for school. Maybe then all this shit will pass and I'll finally be normal, but then again what is normal anymore?