Only in dreams

[coolmrkev]

I don't know why I feel the need to write about my desires for love and affection, but my lack of love and affection from anyone special has been swirling around in my head for days now. As I write this I feel pathetic, this feeling is a wasted emotion. There's nothing i can really do right now about never having a girlfriend. Furthermore I feel selfish for feeling this way when my life really is great, I am spoiled beyond my wildest dreams. it just sucks when you feel like something is missing, a connection not being made. Maybe I'm just over exaggerating my fears of being 30 and never being with a girl in an intimate environment. And then the whole, " my time will come" thing pisses me off too, even though those who say this are just trying to be sympathetic. Is it just supposed to be magic and bam one day I find her? Or has my chances already passed and I'm doomed for eternity, but not really, but I feel like I am so I don't bother looking, and a downward spiral takes control?

Fuck movies for implanting images of love and companionship in my subconscious!

I hope i can look at this post down the road and see how wrong I was...soon.