Hello
Hello, it’s been ages since I updated my journal. The summer just flew by and I haven’t even updated.
I’ve been very busy working the whole summer. So far, I acquired two jobs. I worked as a Residential assistant and as a Desk manager at my college. The income was all right and enough to get me by, but it’s not enough. I was happy to have those stressful days but now, I’m unemployed again. I just moved into my new apartment, so, it will be a problem if I don’t get a job at the end of this semester.
I’m taking 5 classes and I have two years and a semester before I graduate. I’m so excited to get out of college, two years may seem long but with the number of teacher education requirements, time will fly by. I just got done going to my academic advisor yesterday. We laid out my course plan and I’m almost done. I’m taking the Basic skills test this January and I’m in the process of completing additional requirements from the course checklist. If everything goes well, I should be done spring of 2013.
I have a million things on my mind. I don’t really know where to start. I kind of noticed in the past that I just kept on rambling the whole time. I looked at my past entries and I started laughing at myself. Some of the things I wrote didn’t make sense now. I was young and stupid and a lot of those were irrational goals. Well so far, my life is still on the right track, and thankfully, I’m still in college, I have my own place and I have enough income to sustain me until December. Thanks to financial aid. Hey, at least, I’m no longer living with my parents. Honestly, that was a big relief. It’s not that I hate them; it’s just that, I feel like it’s easier if they are not around to see me at my worst moments. Smiles, I bought a plane ticket to California to see my friend Marry, and celebrate the New Year there. Hey, at least, I will celebrate Christmas and Thanksgiving at home. No comments about my family. I think my parents are starting to understand the concept of letting go. Nice, honestly, I enjoy going home because I don’t have to pay for food and they always look excited to see me. They always cook my favorite dish and sleeping on the couch for three nights is not bad. So basically, I officially don’t live there because I don’t have a room anymore. It’s not bad; I just really need to kick myself to get another job to get my income stabilized. And one thing that was a relief to me is that me and my parents started to finally get along. I never thought that was possible. We always argued before and they were very abusive physically and verbally and now, I get hugs and free meals, not bad.
I feel really happy and content with my life right now. It’s been years since I felt like everything is in order. I may not have lots of friends but I got really close to the ones I have. Just last week, we had a slumber party at my place. We bought food from the grocery and we made burgers, cooked stir fry chicken and vegetables, baked lemon pie and made smoothies. I really had a great time. There are lots of good advantages of living on my own. I can do whatever I want, I can invite as many friends as I want for slumber parties, I can study alone quietly with no disruptions and I finally discovered the joys of cooking. I’m excited to try out different recopies. Well, so far, I haven’t burned down the apartment complex, so were good to go. Laughs, I got everything I wished for last year. What about last year? Last year is the worst year of my life. I thought I was going to get kicked out from my parent’s house but luckily, now if they ever decide to kick me out, I have my own place to crash.
I had to pay my rent and budget the money for food, cleaning supplies and toiletries but I still have enough to have a little fun. I bought a music keyboard. Now, I have to learn to play piano. Loll; to begin with, I don’t even know how to read musical notes. I hope I can find some time to teach myself. I got a couple of books, I hope it’s helpful. I have a song in mind and some written lyrics to get me by but I’m missing the rhythm and the beats. The keyboard should help a lot in making music. It’s a great way to use my time.
What else, I’m still a volunteer at the NFB but I might cut down my volunteer hours because I really want to get straight A’s from my classes. My financial aid won’t last for long, so, I need to find a way to get funding for the last year of college. I have a year and a semester to prepare for that. I have a couple of things in mind. If I applied for the national scholarship from the NFB that should take care of one semester. $ 10,000 is a lot of money. So, I guess I still need to volunteer a little bit to get credit and work on my classes at the same time. I’m aware that I have to put in a lot of work into getting those A’s. The following semesters are so different from the last ones. I really have to work harder compared to the last year.
As far as the jobs, well, I was still looking. I applied to some places but I’m fine if they don’t hire. There is a governmental internship offer. The interview is going to be in November. I have enough time to prepare for that. There are only limited slots for the interview. Thank God, I was able to get a slot. Just my luck.
Last but not the least, single life is awesome. I don’t have time for stupid relationships. I think, the last one made me have some trust issues toward every guy I decide to date. I will get over it but it will take some time. I’m better off working on myself than wasting time on failed relationships. This is what I learned for the couple of years that I tried to date: if there are hints of doubts and mistrusts, it will never work out. I feel like it will just make my life more complicated if I date guys that are not in lined with my goals. Honestly, it’s a big turn off if a guy does not want to go to college especially if he does not have a job. What are relationships to him? A spare of the moment type of thing? No way, I’m better off being alone. I promise myself that I will never settle for second best. If he can’t treat me right, then I’m out the door. Seriously, I dated guys who don’t know the meaning of respect. I got so tired of it. So tell me, why am I pushing myself to study, find a good job and work on myself just to end up with someone who doesn’t even know what he wants? Or someone who doesn’t want to do anything with his life? No way, if I was to settle for that, I’m preparing myself for a disaster. If you think I’m judgmental, that’s fine with me. I can’t deal with people who are indecisive and stubborn. If you want to argue with me all the time, don’t talk to me. Simple as that. I just want to be reasonable here. Another thing I learned is not to expect anything from anyone. Its hard to do everything on my own but at least, I’m not bothering anyone. Depending on someone is the worst feeling in the world, it makes you feel helpless and suffocated. No way, I’m not going back to my x’,s or to my parents house. I’m good where I am right now and I’m not going to trade it for anyone unless he’s better and more successful than me.