Holiday Cheer
A new year coming and I am nearly twenty four. What have I learned? I am expendable to the world around me in all ways possible. So are you. Good things do not happen to good people; they are the product of random chance and little else. If everything happens for a reason, then your life might well be for somebody else; the world does not revolve around you. Love is not enough, and giving it to another does not yield affection simply because you crave it. Similarly, kindness is not returned for its own sake. It is hoarded by those who attract it and rarely given to those who yield it. Chasing your dreams is like trying to catch flecks of dust in a ray of light; everyone has dreams and yet the one who achieves them is rare and celebrated. You are stuck making a living doing something you loath unless you are lucky, and wise, enough to be serious about what you enjoy in your youth. Giving in to who you are and being true to yourself is well and fine if you fit in with the world around you. Otherwise, you find only discomfort and loneliness that contrasts so oddly with the strange serenity of being simply "you." Honesty is cruel, and when you speak it you will lose friends. Acknowledging the cold truths of the world will only leave you bitter and broken. It is ok though. I have a few good friends left. Every few months I get to see them. Nearly twenty four years. I am too young to know so well the mood of ghosts. But you cannot stop people from ignoring you. You cannot make them hear more than the rattle of the chains, or feel more than a chill that drives their intrigue. Eventually they lose interest. Eventually you're just part of the scenery.