sooo yea I know
Take my soul away with one glance, one touch, one kiss.
You can have my all, if just for a second
time waits for no one and I am too good at wasting it
What have we become?
I can't imagine the consequences of thoughtless action
did you consider my heart
my reaction
jerry springer would be Pay per view on the episode with our dirty laundry
sometimes i wish i could just get in your head.
anyways so this weekend has potential of being the best weekend ever. Ashlee is commin and we are goin to jersey to party with stigs cousins. Beer pong and drunk fun are on the horizon. but with my luck something will happen and make it the worst weekend ever. sometimes i wonder if i am destined to always be broken and alone, i mean great things come into my life and one way or the other, by my actions directly or indirectly they are completly ruined. and i can't stand that i am my own worst enemy and i wish i had all the luck and saw what it was from the other side of the spectrum. I am a typical pisces, in that my feelings run deep, if i love you i love you if i hate you stay away, if i get hurt it hits me deeper then gunshot wounds, i swear i will die of broken heart disease, and not even from girls, i neglect my friends alot and i try not to let people down but it is i guess all i can do. I have hurt too many people to say i am sorry too, in fact "i'm sorry" should just be posted on my forhead. I think sometimes i forget that people have emmotions, or i don't care which is wierd. I can be the most passionate person or i can be the most cold blooded hurtful person ever. and the people i care about are the ones that always end up geting hurt. I dunno about anything i do anymore. all i want to do is sit in my room and cry sometimes. but i don't cry anymore i just don't think i can. i feel my self wanting to cry but it just doesn't happen instead i get shy and want to put up walls the don't have emotions, i have been nicknamed "inhuman" by people, and it doesn't bother me so much, and they call me inhuman b/c i do things that they never seen before i do things that surprise even me. like a bottle of Jack by melf with out getting sick, taking a full inhale shottie and not coughing, buying a dvd were people kill themselves on video tape and finding it interesting not giving a shit about anything. and i don't want be like that anymore. I am human I do feel things i just don't show them, and it hurts even more to know i can't i am incapable of showing emotions somtimes, most of the time, almost all the time. you want to see what it means to hurt, stare into my eyes and i swear to god you can see my soul, no matter what is going on if i feel sad and i am not showing it in my actions just look at my eyes they showwhat it means to be alone to want hurt someone to hurt yourself. somtimes i feel so alone i just want drive and go to a place all alone to die. then see if anyone notices and if they did how long it would take. i can't live like this, i shouldn't have to, but I am glad it is me who does cuz i could never wish this on anyone else.
I just i knew wat i was supposed to do, i want it all to make sense i want to be stronger i want to be a better person i want to hide from the world, i want to run and start over, i want to just hurry up and die already.
You can have my all, if just for a second
time waits for no one and I am too good at wasting it
What have we become?
I can't imagine the consequences of thoughtless action
did you consider my heart
my reaction
jerry springer would be Pay per view on the episode with our dirty laundry
sometimes i wish i could just get in your head.
anyways so this weekend has potential of being the best weekend ever. Ashlee is commin and we are goin to jersey to party with stigs cousins. Beer pong and drunk fun are on the horizon. but with my luck something will happen and make it the worst weekend ever. sometimes i wonder if i am destined to always be broken and alone, i mean great things come into my life and one way or the other, by my actions directly or indirectly they are completly ruined. and i can't stand that i am my own worst enemy and i wish i had all the luck and saw what it was from the other side of the spectrum. I am a typical pisces, in that my feelings run deep, if i love you i love you if i hate you stay away, if i get hurt it hits me deeper then gunshot wounds, i swear i will die of broken heart disease, and not even from girls, i neglect my friends alot and i try not to let people down but it is i guess all i can do. I have hurt too many people to say i am sorry too, in fact "i'm sorry" should just be posted on my forhead. I think sometimes i forget that people have emmotions, or i don't care which is wierd. I can be the most passionate person or i can be the most cold blooded hurtful person ever. and the people i care about are the ones that always end up geting hurt. I dunno about anything i do anymore. all i want to do is sit in my room and cry sometimes. but i don't cry anymore i just don't think i can. i feel my self wanting to cry but it just doesn't happen instead i get shy and want to put up walls the don't have emotions, i have been nicknamed "inhuman" by people, and it doesn't bother me so much, and they call me inhuman b/c i do things that they never seen before i do things that surprise even me. like a bottle of Jack by melf with out getting sick, taking a full inhale shottie and not coughing, buying a dvd were people kill themselves on video tape and finding it interesting not giving a shit about anything. and i don't want be like that anymore. I am human I do feel things i just don't show them, and it hurts even more to know i can't i am incapable of showing emotions somtimes, most of the time, almost all the time. you want to see what it means to hurt, stare into my eyes and i swear to god you can see my soul, no matter what is going on if i feel sad and i am not showing it in my actions just look at my eyes they showwhat it means to be alone to want hurt someone to hurt yourself. somtimes i feel so alone i just want drive and go to a place all alone to die. then see if anyone notices and if they did how long it would take. i can't live like this, i shouldn't have to, but I am glad it is me who does cuz i could never wish this on anyone else.
I just i knew wat i was supposed to do, i want it all to make sense i want to be stronger i want to be a better person i want to hide from the world, i want to run and start over, i want to just hurry up and die already.