Father and Sons ...
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In these days, when I sit back and look at my life, there are some treasures that amaze me, overwhelm me. Friendships, seeing most of my world, a long interesting career, people and things I've touched along the way - and that have touched me - all have been integrated into what I am. But the largest treasures that Sandra and I have assembled and left in our 42 year partnership's wake - are our sons. Men now, fully launched, having passed me years ago running faster and freer than I ever could.
A year ago, at the funeral of my closest friend and 'best man' all those years ago, my sons Peter (named for my friend) and Geoffrey travelled from Vancouver and Toronto to be with me in Montreal - and a sad event was transformed into a happy one, as I saw them standing beside me. "Para seguir viviendo" - to go on living - through those we have fathered and influenced fills one with the sense of continuity that erases the fears as one nears the endgame.
My friend's daughter took a picture us at the funeral and recently sent it to me - the three Routledge men, still as close together as we ever were. I am a fortunate man.
Fathers and sons often go through stressful times as the sons emerge as men and begin to launch their own lives. But there was little of this for us, for some reason. I guess that I learned that a father's role was "first to give them roots - then to give them wings" and that, coupled with their brilliant mother's guidance, made things easy for us. But still, the new generation must set their own sails, and some parents seem to have trouble with the notion that their sons and daughters must follow their own dreams and ideals.
Cat Stevens (now known as Yusuf Islam) captured this idea of the drawing apart of sons from their fathers, even when it is difficult. Since I recently discovered the annoying LJ trick of including Youtube videos within an entry, I do so here - and hope that some of you listen to the great Cat - as he sings in the voices of both a father and his son as their lives, perhaps, diverge.
"Look at me - I am old, but I'm happy ..." Me too.
In these days, when I sit back and look at my life, there are some treasures that amaze me, overwhelm me. Friendships, seeing most of my world, a long interesting career, people and things I've touched along the way - and that have touched me - all have been integrated into what I am. But the largest treasures that Sandra and I have assembled and left in our 42 year partnership's wake - are our sons. Men now, fully launched, having passed me years ago running faster and freer than I ever could.
A year ago, at the funeral of my closest friend and 'best man' all those years ago, my sons Peter (named for my friend) and Geoffrey travelled from Vancouver and Toronto to be with me in Montreal - and a sad event was transformed into a happy one, as I saw them standing beside me. "Para seguir viviendo" - to go on living - through those we have fathered and influenced fills one with the sense of continuity that erases the fears as one nears the endgame.
My friend's daughter took a picture us at the funeral and recently sent it to me - the three Routledge men, still as close together as we ever were. I am a fortunate man.
Fathers and sons often go through stressful times as the sons emerge as men and begin to launch their own lives. But there was little of this for us, for some reason. I guess that I learned that a father's role was "first to give them roots - then to give them wings" and that, coupled with their brilliant mother's guidance, made things easy for us. But still, the new generation must set their own sails, and some parents seem to have trouble with the notion that their sons and daughters must follow their own dreams and ideals.
Cat Stevens (now known as Yusuf Islam) captured this idea of the drawing apart of sons from their fathers, even when it is difficult. Since I recently discovered the annoying LJ trick of including Youtube videos within an entry, I do so here - and hope that some of you listen to the great Cat - as he sings in the voices of both a father and his son as their lives, perhaps, diverge.
"Look at me - I am old, but I'm happy ..." Me too.
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