nonsense
i've realized i'm not pretty artsy like everyone else is on these sort of things... i don't even know how to put a picture here of the fairly odd parents or invader zim to keep spirits up when much of the brilliant world is down. funny how some people live gleefully unknowing and ignorant about what's going on in other people's lives. i read this person's entry and it sux cuz this person doesn't even have place to live or is moving from place to place. people are stupid that way i guess when they complain selfishly about what goes on in their life when worse things are happening. i try to be cognizant of those things... usually i do it when i think of poor kids in africa dying of starvation, hunger, disease etc. i think of poor innocent women getting raped. men too. i think of bad things happening in Guatemala and how people cry and nobody hears. i guess that's maybe the plague of the human mind: to be simultaneously selfish and thinking about one's own situation and also be knowledgeable about other things that are going on outside so-and-so. i guess that's what's so irritating about people who gossip. they love to know about other people, to be like them, like a fucking social chameleon. girls who care about what the rival is wearing, or rich men who can't decide with lexus or ferrari to buy. guess it boils down to materialism. i get caught up in that storm too. i dropped my iPod. 250 dollars. i'm actually pleasantly suprised i didn't blow a gasget or fuse. part of being nihilist... or part nihilist n e way. there's a bit of satisfaction in writing your own story for your own eyes to see... why? cuz in the end, only you know yourself, your true self, devoid from social conceptions or portrayals. you're you. and that's it. you're not the you who others see you as. nobody will ever know you. its impossible and maybe even tragic. but that's every one's dilemma. maybe the ultimate choice is: do i pick to be the 1,rich lawyer who indulges himself in materials,2,rich lawyer who donates money to charities to feel better,3,the homeless guy on the street without a penny, or more importantly, 5,the poor kid without a house who sees that nothing is worth it and then dies to rid himself of his futile life. ignorance is bliss is what i always think. but maybe knowledge is freedom. it doesn't matter in the end though.