everyone wants me to ride into the sun.

[cool_confusion]

it's been a few days since elliott died, which still isn't a reality to me in the slightest. i sincerely believe he will be known as the genius of our generation, and will be appreciated like he should in years to come. i don't want to say that it was a selfish thing to do, but it was. at least in that manner, his girlfriend finding him, with that vision to stay in her head forever. it's fucked up, it's sad, and it's still a huge loss to everyone. no one can or should try and put themselves in his shoes. i briefly met elliott years ago after a show, after stealing his pack of cigarettes and a setlist which he signed for me "to ryan, (heart) elliott" and i spoke with him about the beatles, asking if he prefers the white album or abbey road. he of course said the white album, proving me right. i could tell he was a nice guy, and that's about it. he had a warmth that was strange and awkward.

i've been listening to his records, and i heard speed trials for the first time in a couple years and had forgotten how much i love that song. here are some lyrics i really loved by him.

It’s just a brief smile crossing your face
Running speed trials still standing in place
When the socket’s not a shock enough
You little child what makes you think you’re tough
When all the people you think you’re above
They all know what’s the matter
You’re such a pinball yeah you know it’s true

If I didn’t know the difference,
Living alone would probably be ok.
It wouldn’t be lonely.
.....

A lot of hours to occupy it was easy
When I didn’t know you yet,
Things I’d have to forget.
......

I heard you found another audience to bore
A creative thinker who imagined you were more
A new body for you to push around and pose
It’s all about taking the easy way out for you I suppose
......

I know you don’t think you did me wrong,
And I can’t stay this mad for long,
Keeping a hold of what you just let go
......

I got a long way to go
Getting further away.