I got some 'splaining to do...
I don't really want to explain myself, but from the posts I've been getting, I think I need to...
I think the first point that needs to be made is that I only post once a week. I don't post every day like some people. So, all the stuff in my journal is the condensed version of my week. Because this is so condensed, I may come off as "desperate". I suppose I am in a way, but I try not to let it hinder me and I don't let it get in the way of things...
Second point: I'm not going to stop trying. I've been told to "stop trying so hard and it will happen". That's a bunch of crap. It's the biggest load of crap that I've heard about relationships. In conversations that I've heard about what girls want in guys, they want someone who will be assertive and make decisions, maybe even one who is "aggressive". That would seem to me to be why all the assholes get girlfriends. Pardon my language, but that's what it seems like. They're the ones that make moves and get things done. The guys that girls seem to favor are the ones that put others down and the ones that only want to be with a girl because she's hot (and the guys their want sex). Even if I try to make moves, it doesn't work because I'm not good at it nor am I really perceptive enough to know if there is any actual interest. I just try to be "cute" in my own way and it does me alright, but the thing is is that being "cute" makes me more like the good friend/brother/"teddy bear?" type and I don't know if I want to be labeled as that. I know I will never be labeled as the "sexy" guy and I totally realize that, however, I don't want to always be the nice guy that never gets anything. If there are two people fighting for the same girl, I will back off because I'm not an aggressive person. I'm a nice guy that wants other people to be happy. This would be why "nice guys finish last". It's because we aren't aggressive people and we want others to be happy. At least that's my reason.
I don't know. It just seems that I don't have many friends. There's only a couple of people that I feel I can go to if I have something I need to talk about, none of which happen to be girls. Like if I have a serious issue that I want a girls perspective on, I want someone I can go to, but as of right now, I don't have anyone that I can confide in and that makes me think. Am I doing something wrong? Is there something I'm not seeing? There probably is. I hate not being perceptive. If something were going on right in front of me, I would still miss it. I am not a perceptive person. If someone likes me, subtlety will most likely not be your best option. One would really need to spell it out in big bold letters. So, that's an FYI for anyone who likes me...
To my most recent commenter: would you consider someone that I want to talk to one-on-one, and give hugs to whenever, and just hang out with a "girlfriend"? If so, then that's what I'm looking for and that's what I'm calling it for now. If not, then what would you call it? Maybe "good friends"? I don't know... Also, "interview"? I guess I can see that. Thank you... You also said to "wait for a girl to show interest in me". Right... Who would want me? I think I'm beginning to resign myself to the perpetual rank of friend/brother... It almost seems horrible that it's come to this, but that's what I feel it needs to be because I'm not the most attractive guy and I don't even think I'd want to have a relationship with me... All I really want to do is get to know people. I've said this before and I'll say it again: the best way to get to know people is one-on-one because they don't have to perform for anyone; they are free to be themselves. Groups are nice, but you don't really get to know a lot of intimate details; it's just a lot of personality type stuff. I do this all the time. Any time that I'm in a group setting, I'm always learning and listening to people. I can usually tell a lot about people just from a few group things and by different things that people do. That's at least one aspect of perception that I have. Just by the language (body and verbal) that people use, I can figure out a lot. So, I guess for now I will resign myself to just getting to know people in groups and not by my preferred method... Whatever...
So, for now, I've resigned myself to the rank of the perpetual best friend, nice guy and the one who will never have a serious relationship with anyone... Thanks for reading... I hope I helped you understand me better... Because of my own realizations, I will be crying myself to sleep tonight... If you have any comments you know where to leave them... See ya' next time!
I think the first point that needs to be made is that I only post once a week. I don't post every day like some people. So, all the stuff in my journal is the condensed version of my week. Because this is so condensed, I may come off as "desperate". I suppose I am in a way, but I try not to let it hinder me and I don't let it get in the way of things...
Second point: I'm not going to stop trying. I've been told to "stop trying so hard and it will happen". That's a bunch of crap. It's the biggest load of crap that I've heard about relationships. In conversations that I've heard about what girls want in guys, they want someone who will be assertive and make decisions, maybe even one who is "aggressive". That would seem to me to be why all the assholes get girlfriends. Pardon my language, but that's what it seems like. They're the ones that make moves and get things done. The guys that girls seem to favor are the ones that put others down and the ones that only want to be with a girl because she's hot (and the guys their want sex). Even if I try to make moves, it doesn't work because I'm not good at it nor am I really perceptive enough to know if there is any actual interest. I just try to be "cute" in my own way and it does me alright, but the thing is is that being "cute" makes me more like the good friend/brother/"teddy bear?" type and I don't know if I want to be labeled as that. I know I will never be labeled as the "sexy" guy and I totally realize that, however, I don't want to always be the nice guy that never gets anything. If there are two people fighting for the same girl, I will back off because I'm not an aggressive person. I'm a nice guy that wants other people to be happy. This would be why "nice guys finish last". It's because we aren't aggressive people and we want others to be happy. At least that's my reason.
I don't know. It just seems that I don't have many friends. There's only a couple of people that I feel I can go to if I have something I need to talk about, none of which happen to be girls. Like if I have a serious issue that I want a girls perspective on, I want someone I can go to, but as of right now, I don't have anyone that I can confide in and that makes me think. Am I doing something wrong? Is there something I'm not seeing? There probably is. I hate not being perceptive. If something were going on right in front of me, I would still miss it. I am not a perceptive person. If someone likes me, subtlety will most likely not be your best option. One would really need to spell it out in big bold letters. So, that's an FYI for anyone who likes me...
To my most recent commenter: would you consider someone that I want to talk to one-on-one, and give hugs to whenever, and just hang out with a "girlfriend"? If so, then that's what I'm looking for and that's what I'm calling it for now. If not, then what would you call it? Maybe "good friends"? I don't know... Also, "interview"? I guess I can see that. Thank you... You also said to "wait for a girl to show interest in me". Right... Who would want me? I think I'm beginning to resign myself to the perpetual rank of friend/brother... It almost seems horrible that it's come to this, but that's what I feel it needs to be because I'm not the most attractive guy and I don't even think I'd want to have a relationship with me... All I really want to do is get to know people. I've said this before and I'll say it again: the best way to get to know people is one-on-one because they don't have to perform for anyone; they are free to be themselves. Groups are nice, but you don't really get to know a lot of intimate details; it's just a lot of personality type stuff. I do this all the time. Any time that I'm in a group setting, I'm always learning and listening to people. I can usually tell a lot about people just from a few group things and by different things that people do. That's at least one aspect of perception that I have. Just by the language (body and verbal) that people use, I can figure out a lot. So, I guess for now I will resign myself to just getting to know people in groups and not by my preferred method... Whatever...
So, for now, I've resigned myself to the rank of the perpetual best friend, nice guy and the one who will never have a serious relationship with anyone... Thanks for reading... I hope I helped you understand me better... Because of my own realizations, I will be crying myself to sleep tonight... If you have any comments you know where to leave them... See ya' next time!