Inner Self
It's been a while since I actually sat myself down to blog about something that matters.
The past six months have been a plateau on the one hand and yet a rollercoaster on the other.
A lot has taken place - with new people, new environments, new events - but mostly within myself. I have been challenged in many ways and in the process, I have questioned more than I ever did - possibly in all my years put together. I believe that God has deliberately chosen this period of my life to expose me to the previously-hidden aspects of myself - who I really am - through the events and people that I have been encountering. I feel that I am getting to know myself as a person and the learning curve has been a steep one. The limits of my beliefs, values, physical, mental and emotional thresholds, hopes, expectations, strengths, weaknesses, as well as the way I think and feel with regards to specific important issues have all been challenged. I suppose these are necessary in order for me to see myself for who I am.
It has not been easy to accept certain things about myself. On the other hand, I have come to see aspects of myself that I have taken for granted everyone shares - and I have only recently come to see that I possess gifts which I should really begin to appreciate and tap on.
You know how it takes a long time to really get to know a person, become friends, fall in love and eventually decide to spend the rest of your life journeying with them? I feel like I'm going through a reverse process of sorts with none other than myself - and it has been quite an exciting journey. I always knew that I had to live with myself no matter how much I liked myself. Then I decided that I might as well love this person that I'm stuck with for good or it would be a miserable life. It is only now that I am truly seeing myself for the elements that make up who I am, and after which, renewing my commitment to this journey because of the 'me' that I have come to know.
In the past, I would protect myself because I didn't want to get hurt. I'd do whatever it took to ensure that I did not end up with disappointment, guilt, sadness or pain in any form. Recently, I find myself being protective in a different way. I choose getting hurt over having my sense of self compromised. The path I choose is more likely to be less popular and often a lonely one. Pain is an inevitable part of this journey. Yet with time, my loyalty to all the things that make up who I am have led me to a place called peace.
At the end of the day, I feel that I am only just beginning to get acquainted with me - and I'm loving every step of this learning journey.
"I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me"
~ "I've Never Been to Me" - Charlene
The past six months have been a plateau on the one hand and yet a rollercoaster on the other.
A lot has taken place - with new people, new environments, new events - but mostly within myself. I have been challenged in many ways and in the process, I have questioned more than I ever did - possibly in all my years put together. I believe that God has deliberately chosen this period of my life to expose me to the previously-hidden aspects of myself - who I really am - through the events and people that I have been encountering. I feel that I am getting to know myself as a person and the learning curve has been a steep one. The limits of my beliefs, values, physical, mental and emotional thresholds, hopes, expectations, strengths, weaknesses, as well as the way I think and feel with regards to specific important issues have all been challenged. I suppose these are necessary in order for me to see myself for who I am.
It has not been easy to accept certain things about myself. On the other hand, I have come to see aspects of myself that I have taken for granted everyone shares - and I have only recently come to see that I possess gifts which I should really begin to appreciate and tap on.
You know how it takes a long time to really get to know a person, become friends, fall in love and eventually decide to spend the rest of your life journeying with them? I feel like I'm going through a reverse process of sorts with none other than myself - and it has been quite an exciting journey. I always knew that I had to live with myself no matter how much I liked myself. Then I decided that I might as well love this person that I'm stuck with for good or it would be a miserable life. It is only now that I am truly seeing myself for the elements that make up who I am, and after which, renewing my commitment to this journey because of the 'me' that I have come to know.
In the past, I would protect myself because I didn't want to get hurt. I'd do whatever it took to ensure that I did not end up with disappointment, guilt, sadness or pain in any form. Recently, I find myself being protective in a different way. I choose getting hurt over having my sense of self compromised. The path I choose is more likely to be less popular and often a lonely one. Pain is an inevitable part of this journey. Yet with time, my loyalty to all the things that make up who I am have led me to a place called peace.
At the end of the day, I feel that I am only just beginning to get acquainted with me - and I'm loving every step of this learning journey.
"I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me"
~ "I've Never Been to Me" - Charlene