two-faced!
It seems like all I'm ever doing anymore is venting...but it has to be done. I've got all this shit in my head and I need to get it out. Here goes, whether it makes sense or not.
I've been really frustrated lately with my friends. Of course I've had this on going drama with Will for the past year and we just haven't really been friends. Now I'm going through shit with Carlos. Am I just destined to never keep friends?!
I guess it all started on my birthday this past year (in June). Up until then, for about a year, Carlos and I were really close friends. Then the day before my birthday I guess I said something that annoyed him so for the next 3 days he refused to talk to me or answer my calls. We kind of sorted that out, but he just told me that sometimes he holds things inside that bother him about people and one day they just kind of become to much and he just needs to not talk to them for a few days and he's better. I think that's lame and it was horrible timing doing it to me for my birthday.
Well things went back to normal with us, but recently he's been ignoring me a lot. When we went to Halloween Horror Nights he stuck more with our friend Lauren that we went with. (really, he's friends with Lauren, but I kind of am to now just because he always invites her to places when we hang out. Whatever, she's nice) On the day we were heading back he was getting really irritable with me and snapping at me, so I decided that I wasn't going to let him do it anymore so I blasted my ipod the whole way home. He ignored me the next 2 days after that.
Then a few weeks later was November 11th, and of course I have my whole thing with 11:11, so Carlos is like "We should do something 11 times." Okies, sounds like a good idea to me. For the days leading up to that Lauren and him were talking about going to a club at the Hard Rock that night since they both have off. They're both under 21, but Lauren apparently knows someone who owns one of the clubs and said she could get them two in. I said I'd go too. But Carlos and I were also talking about doing 11 shots, so I was totally down for that. Lauren and Carlos wanted to go shopping for something to wear to the club that night and I kind of got dragged into going. Whatever. As we were leaving the mall Lauren finds out that she can't get them two into the club, so now they just want to go to the Hard Rock. Honestly, I'm not a fan of going there, since I think gambling is a waste. I didn't want to go, but Carlos is like, "Would you still want to drink afterwards." I said yes, but I didn't want to do it late, since it was already 9:30. I passed out at home and he called me at 1am to hang out. Um, no. The next few days after that, he ignored me!
For Thanksgiving Carlos was going to come over to eat some food and hang out. He ended up finally wanting to come over around 9ish, but the food was already put away and the "party" was over. The next day, Black Friday, we were going to go shopping with some friends. I decided I didn't want to go since I had to close that night at work and I know last year I was exhausted from getting up so early. He ignored me the next few days after that.
And finally, this week...I wish I would say why he's been ignoring me. Last Thursday night we hung out and had a lot of fun. The next day I was off and he closed. Then on Saturday he closed and I was off. So we didn't see each other and didn't end up talking to each other on the phone either. I hung out with Kortney on Saturday ...blah blah blah. Sunday Carlos and I were working together. I get there and he's ignoring me. Now when I say ignoring, I mean he won't even look me in the eye and when I talk to him he just kind of goes, "yeah..." and walks away. And it always gets to me, because it hurts to have a close friend just act like they don't know you. I mean, I feel like a piece of shit and I just think, "what did I do wrong?". I have absolutely NO idea why he's being pissy with me, because NOTHING has happened between the few days that we saw each other. AT least, nothing that I knew of. So I'm like whatever, I'm so over him being this way to me just because he "can" and he acts worse than a girl. And I also have to hear from one of the managers, that I'm friends with, that he "threw me under the bus". (that saying gets used around work a lot) Basically Carlos took it upon himself to tell this manager that I didn't do something I was supposed to and that I "know better and should have done it." This is the second time this manager has told me something like this that Carlos said to him.
So then me and Carlos worked together again Monday night and he was ignoring me again. Even someone else at work was like, "What's Carlos' problem?" Um, beats me. I just allowed him to enjoy being a prick and tried to stay away from him as much as possible. At around 10ish he decides to talk to me. He told me that this one customer, who I think is cute, was at one of the registers. Then for the rest of the night he just talked to me normal, as if nothing had happened. I'm sorry, no. I'm not going to let the past two days just slide. We're too good of friends, or at least I thought we were, for me to deserve him treating me like shit and as if we don't know each other and then just go back to normal whenever he feels like it.
After work me, Carlos and Will were standing outside. Now I have to mention that Carlos hates Will and will take any chance he gets to talk about him or bash him, yet within the few days that Carlos wasn't talking to me the two of them have seemed to form a little friendship. How cute and two-faced. We all were hungry and decided to go to Denny's. Will kind of made it so Carlos had to sit next to me, and Carlos and Will kind of had a little laugh about that. Haaaaaaaaaaaa, how funny. You know when you can just tell people are talking about you...whatever. I was fine with just dealing with it for the meal and then going about my night. But Carlos then started texting Will while we were all at Denny's. HELLO, do you seriously think I wouldn't know that you're doing that?! I mean, really. Besides the fact that Carlos and I used to do that all the time whenever we went out with people from work. We'd sit at the table and text each other the whole time. ...and ironically, we'd text about Will. Hmmm, funny how things change, I guess.
I literally sat there the whole time staring at the wall. I told the two of them, well mainly Will...since I couldn't even look Carlos in the face at that point, that if they were going to text each other while I was there I was going to leave. They tried to cover what they were doing, but it didn't matter. I just sat there and didn't say a word. Now it's Thursday and Carlos hasn't called me or anything and Will is ignoring me at work. Honestly, Will I hardly care about anymore. Our friendship has been fucked for the past year and it's never going to get better. I've tried to fix it and talk with him, but nothing changes so I'm over it. But Carlos is just seriously pissing me off. Him and Will are now best buddies or some shit and I guess could care less. I'm to the point where I guess I have to lose another friend. I really can't deal with Carlos' shady friendship anymore. You can't be my friend if you go behind my back about things or just decide to ignore me for your own gain and then act like it's all cool. It's not.
I don't know what to do. I know I've heard Carlos say a lot of times about a friend "if they're so used to you coming to them and you calling them first, then you wait for them to appreciate your friendship and make them come to you." Ummmm, sure. I guess maybe that's what he's doing with me now. I'm going to fail then, because I am in no way going to go to him. Unless I totally break and want to call him so we can get this "fight" over with. I don't know. I'm so frustrated, I just want to punch him. Honestly, I feel like the only thing that will make me feel better is to tell all his secrets and back stab him...see how he likes it, kind of thing. I'm just not like that. And I can't be fake and pretend to be happy around someone when I'm not. If I like you, you know it. If I don't, you know it. Plain and simple. No faking or two-faced bullshit here. How do I attract it? And what do I do? Cuz now I'm depressed and friendless.
I've been really frustrated lately with my friends. Of course I've had this on going drama with Will for the past year and we just haven't really been friends. Now I'm going through shit with Carlos. Am I just destined to never keep friends?!
I guess it all started on my birthday this past year (in June). Up until then, for about a year, Carlos and I were really close friends. Then the day before my birthday I guess I said something that annoyed him so for the next 3 days he refused to talk to me or answer my calls. We kind of sorted that out, but he just told me that sometimes he holds things inside that bother him about people and one day they just kind of become to much and he just needs to not talk to them for a few days and he's better. I think that's lame and it was horrible timing doing it to me for my birthday.
Well things went back to normal with us, but recently he's been ignoring me a lot. When we went to Halloween Horror Nights he stuck more with our friend Lauren that we went with. (really, he's friends with Lauren, but I kind of am to now just because he always invites her to places when we hang out. Whatever, she's nice) On the day we were heading back he was getting really irritable with me and snapping at me, so I decided that I wasn't going to let him do it anymore so I blasted my ipod the whole way home. He ignored me the next 2 days after that.
Then a few weeks later was November 11th, and of course I have my whole thing with 11:11, so Carlos is like "We should do something 11 times." Okies, sounds like a good idea to me. For the days leading up to that Lauren and him were talking about going to a club at the Hard Rock that night since they both have off. They're both under 21, but Lauren apparently knows someone who owns one of the clubs and said she could get them two in. I said I'd go too. But Carlos and I were also talking about doing 11 shots, so I was totally down for that. Lauren and Carlos wanted to go shopping for something to wear to the club that night and I kind of got dragged into going. Whatever. As we were leaving the mall Lauren finds out that she can't get them two into the club, so now they just want to go to the Hard Rock. Honestly, I'm not a fan of going there, since I think gambling is a waste. I didn't want to go, but Carlos is like, "Would you still want to drink afterwards." I said yes, but I didn't want to do it late, since it was already 9:30. I passed out at home and he called me at 1am to hang out. Um, no. The next few days after that, he ignored me!
For Thanksgiving Carlos was going to come over to eat some food and hang out. He ended up finally wanting to come over around 9ish, but the food was already put away and the "party" was over. The next day, Black Friday, we were going to go shopping with some friends. I decided I didn't want to go since I had to close that night at work and I know last year I was exhausted from getting up so early. He ignored me the next few days after that.
And finally, this week...I wish I would say why he's been ignoring me. Last Thursday night we hung out and had a lot of fun. The next day I was off and he closed. Then on Saturday he closed and I was off. So we didn't see each other and didn't end up talking to each other on the phone either. I hung out with Kortney on Saturday ...blah blah blah. Sunday Carlos and I were working together. I get there and he's ignoring me. Now when I say ignoring, I mean he won't even look me in the eye and when I talk to him he just kind of goes, "yeah..." and walks away. And it always gets to me, because it hurts to have a close friend just act like they don't know you. I mean, I feel like a piece of shit and I just think, "what did I do wrong?". I have absolutely NO idea why he's being pissy with me, because NOTHING has happened between the few days that we saw each other. AT least, nothing that I knew of. So I'm like whatever, I'm so over him being this way to me just because he "can" and he acts worse than a girl. And I also have to hear from one of the managers, that I'm friends with, that he "threw me under the bus". (that saying gets used around work a lot) Basically Carlos took it upon himself to tell this manager that I didn't do something I was supposed to and that I "know better and should have done it." This is the second time this manager has told me something like this that Carlos said to him.
So then me and Carlos worked together again Monday night and he was ignoring me again. Even someone else at work was like, "What's Carlos' problem?" Um, beats me. I just allowed him to enjoy being a prick and tried to stay away from him as much as possible. At around 10ish he decides to talk to me. He told me that this one customer, who I think is cute, was at one of the registers. Then for the rest of the night he just talked to me normal, as if nothing had happened. I'm sorry, no. I'm not going to let the past two days just slide. We're too good of friends, or at least I thought we were, for me to deserve him treating me like shit and as if we don't know each other and then just go back to normal whenever he feels like it.
After work me, Carlos and Will were standing outside. Now I have to mention that Carlos hates Will and will take any chance he gets to talk about him or bash him, yet within the few days that Carlos wasn't talking to me the two of them have seemed to form a little friendship. How cute and two-faced. We all were hungry and decided to go to Denny's. Will kind of made it so Carlos had to sit next to me, and Carlos and Will kind of had a little laugh about that. Haaaaaaaaaaaa, how funny. You know when you can just tell people are talking about you...whatever. I was fine with just dealing with it for the meal and then going about my night. But Carlos then started texting Will while we were all at Denny's. HELLO, do you seriously think I wouldn't know that you're doing that?! I mean, really. Besides the fact that Carlos and I used to do that all the time whenever we went out with people from work. We'd sit at the table and text each other the whole time. ...and ironically, we'd text about Will. Hmmm, funny how things change, I guess.
I literally sat there the whole time staring at the wall. I told the two of them, well mainly Will...since I couldn't even look Carlos in the face at that point, that if they were going to text each other while I was there I was going to leave. They tried to cover what they were doing, but it didn't matter. I just sat there and didn't say a word. Now it's Thursday and Carlos hasn't called me or anything and Will is ignoring me at work. Honestly, Will I hardly care about anymore. Our friendship has been fucked for the past year and it's never going to get better. I've tried to fix it and talk with him, but nothing changes so I'm over it. But Carlos is just seriously pissing me off. Him and Will are now best buddies or some shit and I guess could care less. I'm to the point where I guess I have to lose another friend. I really can't deal with Carlos' shady friendship anymore. You can't be my friend if you go behind my back about things or just decide to ignore me for your own gain and then act like it's all cool. It's not.
I don't know what to do. I know I've heard Carlos say a lot of times about a friend "if they're so used to you coming to them and you calling them first, then you wait for them to appreciate your friendship and make them come to you." Ummmm, sure. I guess maybe that's what he's doing with me now. I'm going to fail then, because I am in no way going to go to him. Unless I totally break and want to call him so we can get this "fight" over with. I don't know. I'm so frustrated, I just want to punch him. Honestly, I feel like the only thing that will make me feel better is to tell all his secrets and back stab him...see how he likes it, kind of thing. I'm just not like that. And I can't be fake and pretend to be happy around someone when I'm not. If I like you, you know it. If I don't, you know it. Plain and simple. No faking or two-faced bullshit here. How do I attract it? And what do I do? Cuz now I'm depressed and friendless.