Just kick my ass already!
I hate it when I'm talking to someone about weight, and they say, "well, you're not that big" or "I think you're kinda pretty". Like they don't think you're skinny and pretty, but they don't want to tell you that, because that would be rude! Like lying about it isn't! These are the same people who if you went in public with something embarrasing wrong with you, they wouldn't tell you about it, just continue to laugh when you walk away. When I look at myself in the mirror now, I see a beautiful, thick(not fat) person, with a great personality, and a lot of assertiveness... Maybe that's what's wrong, because when I was in 11th and 12th grade, and had no self-esteem, and thought I looked horrible, people seemed to like me more... I try not to think about this dillema too much, because I can't really spend time stressing on how I used to be, being since the person I used to be is still so painfully close, and I can't let myself be that person again...
Lately I am very aware that I am alone... I, being a person who thrives on love, don't like being alone... Therein lies the problem. I have however found a person who I would like to spend a considerable amount of time with, who is sweet, and gorgeous, and seems to like me too... This is exciting news! (waits for cheering to subside) This means that my inbalance of negative and positive energy might be fixed, and all will be well with me again. The problem: I have to learn to speak a new language to talk to him... Sign-language to be exact, and I have taught myself quite a deal more than expected in such short time. I like to try and talk to him, but he signs so fast, and seems to get frustrated with my inability to keep up. I don't know whether to wait until I'm an experienced signer to try and date him, or to learn as I go, and see how that works. It's kinda complicated! Nevertheless, he is nice eye candy to have around... All the girls agree!
Lately I am very aware that I am alone... I, being a person who thrives on love, don't like being alone... Therein lies the problem. I have however found a person who I would like to spend a considerable amount of time with, who is sweet, and gorgeous, and seems to like me too... This is exciting news! (waits for cheering to subside) This means that my inbalance of negative and positive energy might be fixed, and all will be well with me again. The problem: I have to learn to speak a new language to talk to him... Sign-language to be exact, and I have taught myself quite a deal more than expected in such short time. I like to try and talk to him, but he signs so fast, and seems to get frustrated with my inability to keep up. I don't know whether to wait until I'm an experienced signer to try and date him, or to learn as I go, and see how that works. It's kinda complicated! Nevertheless, he is nice eye candy to have around... All the girls agree!