6 Queries [voice]

[conundrumking]

What mammal has venomous spurs, makes use of electrolocation, and is the only living member of its family?

As if it isn't obvious. I'm a living riddle--a bizarre, unfathomable mesh of animals, an oddity of the natural world! [small growly sound, then a splash (which happens to be the sound of a platypus jumping into the bathtub--thank you for

Comments

[action]

[is_fear_itself]

I certainly hope you won't. Is that a veiled request for something?

[trots into the bathroom, a book under one arm and a plastic bag in the other hand, and sits down on the closed toilet, eyeing the bathtub and its contents approvingly]

And are you comfortable? Unbelievably I couldn't find any books in my library on "how to raise a platypus", but I have an encyclopaedia that touches on the basics.

[action]

[conundrumking]

No, just a... reassurance.

[swims around the edge of the too-small tub, tail and flippery-feet audibly slapping the sides] I could use a larger tub, but otherwise, yes. [slithers partway out of the water and onto the ramp to look at Jonathan with beady little platypus eyes] What? I thought you had a book on everything!

[waddles out onto the ramp and shakes with a snuffly noise] What did you bring?

[action]

[is_fear_itself]

Consider me adequately reassured. [amused] I'm sorry I couldn't find you a pond, it's rather short notice... [rustles in the bag, taking out a handful of shelled shrimp, and holding them out to him]

According to my sources, shrimp and crayfish are on the--extensive list of your diet, so I took the liberty... [could that possibly be a slight blush, or maybe just Jon being...Jon] And now it's my turn to assure you I won't poison you.

[action]

[conundrumking]

[waddles over to Jon] The tub will do for today, and from what I've learned, these curses only last for a day.

[eyes the shrimp eagerly--if platypuses can look eager] Jonathan. If you wanted me dead, I probably wouldn't be in your bathroom in the shape of a platypus... not that I would let you kill me sneakily.

[action]

[is_fear_itself]

[leans over, wincing a bit at the pain in his chest as he does, and sets the food on a clean towel on the floor, before straightening up gingerly] Yes, well. Nightmare and I are both grateful you're not a cat.

True enough... [initially resists the temptation to reach over and nab him--he looks very cuddly]

[action]

[conundrumking]

If you undo the healing your ribs have done, I'll bite you. [actually doesn't have much in the way of teeth, but that's only a technicality; goes to town on the shrimp, polishing them off in a few scoops]

[is very cuddly--very, very cuddly, and so sooooft... pet the platypus, Jon]

[action]

[is_fear_itself]

That wouldn't be very nice of you. [watches him eat, pleased he's appreciative--leans back a little, still just--scientifically observing, yes!]

Is there anything else you need? [slinks down off the toilet and takes the towel, starting to rub him down vigorously and telling himself petting with a towel doesn't count, so there]

[action]

[conundrumking]

I'll gnaw on you. Is that better? N-- [surprised platypus gets toweled!; leans into it, quite pleased] No, but you could keep doing this.

[action]

[is_fear_itself]

[absently] Mmhm. [furtive look around, deciding there're no witnesses here but Eddie, and wraps him up in the towel, pulling him up onto his lap and peering into the odd face]

I'm going to pet you, now. If anyone finds out about this, my retribution will be swift and merciless.

[action]

[conundrumking]

[growls--not aggressively so much as surprised]

You're--? You don't need to threaten me. [nudges Jon's hand with his snout] My bill is sealed.

[action]

[is_fear_itself]

I don't? [tentatively strokes across the top of his weird head, more used to the fluttery pokey kind of pet] ...you're very soft.

[action]

[conundrumking]

Not in a place like this, you don't. Who would I sell you out to? [raises his head to encourage Jon--damn, being a platypus is awesome] Thank you. ...You don't need to stop the compliments there.

[action]

[is_fear_itself]

Oh, I don't know... The Joker? [continues petting, amazed by the glossy fur--and the fact that he can kind of shunt off his affection-esque feelings for Eddie into d'aww-the-cute-animal vibes instead] You're also scientifically compelling, aesthetically pleasing, and intellectually indefectible.

[action]

[conundrumking]

The Joker isn't exactly sanity's poster-child. I'll take your kind of crazy over his. [happy 'mrr' sound] Oh, you.

[action]

[is_fear_itself]

Kind of you, to put me above him, but I'm not sure the doctors at Arkham would say there's any sort of 'better' crazy... [holds him up for examination before putting him to one shoulder a little awkwardly, baby-style, and carrying him out of the bathroom]

Now then, shall we go fill out a crossword, perhaps?

[action]

[conundrumking]

The doctors at Arkham aren't much better than the inmates. The only difference is the uniform. [has mixed feelings about being carried around like a doll, but Jonathan's trying... and all walks are long walks when you're a platypus]

You would write the words in for me?