Unexpected Happiness

Oct 23, 2008 23:48

I have the best of anything I do have...what would be the point otherwise?

I remember a point in my life where relationships were a way to fill the void in time and to have sex regularly.

Now that I have found someone I am so in love with as a friend (Louis) and didn't have the need to be in a relationship, the best one of my life has come to me!

I cant even fathom how it is possible to care so deeply for someone because it is changing most of all of my beliefs and ways of life. Eddie told me I am speaking like a different person and am "domesticated".

I know I haven't partied as much or worn skimpy clothes lately but that is because I no longer like that kind of attention from other men. I care so much about this one so genuinely that I only want him to go out with me or see me dress provocatively.

I clean, cook, and rub his shoulders all without being asked and in return he actually appreciates it! This may not sound like a big deal but you guys know I don't like to do those things on a regular basis and now I love it! I've always been on the fence about marriage because I've been so turned off by it for so long. Most the time it's been I guess he would be good for it because he has money, or because he had a baby with me or even, it might be comfortable, but never before because I actually wanted to be! I want to have this mans last name! It still feels strange to say something like that but I mean it. I actually WANT to keep house and prepare dinner nightly and stand by this man and care for him unconditionally.

This is not the Peaches people are used to but here I am, almost unrecognizable to myself but I'm also ecstatic that my life has veered towards stability in some aspect and I didn't even have to try, it just happened.

Now that I have a healthy relationship and self worth, I can get some other things on track like car issues and my job situation!
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